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Met a nice artist girl, but not sure what to do with her
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Author:  Captain Tightpants [ Tue Jul 01, 2008 8:15 am ]
Post subject:  Met a nice artist girl, but not sure what to do with her
I go to a community college and I met this one girl in my writing class who I later found out is a rather talented artist. I didn't get to talk to her much but when I did she showed many signs of being interested. She was very shy and submissive whenever I talked to her, and she seemed to laugh extra hard or pay extra attention when I shared my funny stories and poetry with the class. She is the kind of girl whom you would probably never find at a club or a bar, and rarely at a mall. She's one of those girls who looks good naturally and doesn't use much make-up or even wear classy clothes. She has a very down-to-earth, "girl next door" kind of style.

Anyway, I found her facebook page recently and added her and then we began to talk. I noticed that she had uploaded lots of her art so I complimented her for it and said I could tell she had a soul for creativity. Then we got to talking a bit about ourselves. I'm a musician and a writer, she's an artist and also a writer, and both of us are interested in incorporating our respective crafts into film making. She also seemed very interested in learning about music stuff from me. Of course, then I asked her what she likes to do when she isn't making art, then she told me and asked me, so then in the last message I sent her, I told her some of the things I like to do (hiking, going to beaches and seeing exotic music gigs in the city) and said that she should come with me some time. She only seems to check her facebook once a week (or less) so it's been very slow to communicate with her.

But anyway, my confusion right now is how I should behave around her when I meet up with her. Even though I've read up on my material and I know how to be a David DeAngelo jerk in a way that works on most girls, it doesn't seem like it would be the best tool for this situation. I've also never been cocky around her or made fun of her before, so it would seem odd if I suddenly started doing that. I already know how to be interesting, now I'm just not sure how to bring sexuality into it in a way that would work. So I'm asking for suggestions on what I should do. She seems like someone whom I could "be myself" around, to some degree (I'm a geeky intellectual artistic fellow) but I'm having a hard time thinking of how I could make that sexual and feel right.

If it's important, I'm 20 and she's 21.
Author:  sabe007 [ Tue Jul 01, 2008 9:22 am ]
Post subject: 
It's important that your behaviour is continuous, so just act the way you have been doing but being sure to pay attention to the goals. build attraction -> build comfort -> kino -> close.

anyway, be sure to remember that you've already built some attraction and some comfort so what you're trying to do is escalate both. the relaxed SPAM of a gig could be used to 'elaborate on' your personality, no matter what you do however, it's important to remember be yourself, the you that she knows. as that's the guy that's in there.
Author:  Captain Tightpants [ Tue Jul 01, 2008 10:04 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
It's important that your behaviour is continuous, so just act the way you have been doing but being sure to pay attention to the goals. build attraction -> build comfort -> kino -> close.

anyway, be sure to remember that you've already built some attraction and some comfort so what you're trying to do is escalate both. the relaxed SPAM of a gig could be used to 'elaborate on' your personality, no matter what you do however, it's important to remember be yourself, the you that she knows. as that's the guy that's in there.
I guess my main problem is I'm not sure of what specific things I need to do to build attraction, build comfort, then close. I've read up on the DiCarlo Kino Escalation Ladder but I'm still pretty inexperienced when it comes to those other three elements. I also don't really know how to employ kino during those phases.
Author:  sabe007 [ Tue Jul 01, 2008 10:38 am ]
Post subject: 
Building attraction is like selling a second hand car, you sell it's best points with short stories planting the idea of possibilities.

Building comfort is essentially getting a cat to lay on it's back. Some people recommend the cube for building comfort. But remember the fact that you've got her talking to you and showing interest in you says that you've already starting building comfort so you're just trying to escalate that. I tend to find that getting them to share something is the best indicator of good comfort building but it's not always appropriate. Remember that as opposed to building attraction, where you're talking about yourself and selling yourself, in comfort building, you're engaging, but be sure to control the conversation. should you lose control, you're likely to go to far into comfort. Kino is also a key part of building comfort. starting at the hands, up to the shoulder before moving onto the leg (at which point you would've started seducing).
Author:  Captain Tightpants [ Tue Jul 01, 2008 11:19 pm ]
Post subject: 
Ok, I kinda get that, but I'm still not sure how to actually translate that into reality. What THINGS do I need to do to build attraction and comfort? I'm worried that if I just continue to talk with her about music, art, and my experiences with those subjects then I'll just become another interesting guy to talk to and not a sexual option. I also understand that I need to build "sexual tension" but I really don't know how to do that either. Be easy on me, I'm still in my rAFC phase. I've already been able to seduce girls who I've been previously friends with or have met through other people, but I have no experience doing this with a girl who I've just met recently on my own.

And what is the cube?
Author:  Sugarfoot [ Wed Jul 02, 2008 5:22 pm ]
Post subject:  artsy chicks
Okay, I do pretty well at picking up artsy chicks at galleries b/c I have artist friends (social proof) who invite me to the events they are showing at.

Here's some tips for her:

Take her to an art show. Don't know where you live, but there are usually lot's of small independent artists showing at crappy places like coffee shops or whatever, but on opening night it's free, has music, booze and is kinda cool.

She's an artist, so talk to her about art. Not just "nice painting" but more involved stuff like what it means to her. Tell her you want to come over so you can see her portfolio. Then ask her about her stuff and LISTEN.

Try this:
"Art comes from the left side of your brain, the side that responsible for creativity, sexuality, intuition (sex in the middle so it doesn't look obvious). It comes from deep inside and represents a lot about your true self. What do you think this piece says about you?"

Talking about her and something she likes (without being needy and playing 20 questions) will build attraction because she will anchor her feelings about something she loves (art) to you.
Author:  Captain Tightpants [ Wed Jul 02, 2008 11:42 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: artsy chicks
Quote:
Okay, I do pretty well at picking up artsy chicks at galleries b/c I have artist friends (social proof) who invite me to the events they are showing at.

Here's some tips for her:

Take her to an art show. Don't know where you live, but there are usually lot's of small independent artists showing at crappy places like coffee shops or whatever, but on opening night it's free, has music, booze and is kinda cool.

She's an artist, so talk to her about art. Not just "nice painting" but more involved stuff like what it means to her. Tell her you want to come over so you can see her portfolio. Then ask her about her stuff and LISTEN.

Try this:
"Art comes from the left side of your brain, the side that responsible for creativity, sexuality, intuition (sex in the middle so it doesn't look obvious). It comes from deep inside and represents a lot about your true self. What do you think this piece says about you?"

Talking about her and something she likes (without being needy and playing 20 questions) will build attraction because she will anchor her feelings about something she loves (art) to you.
Those sound like some good ideas. I do know that she already goes to art shows but it would be strange if I "took her" to one because I've never been to one before and she already knows that I'm not a painter so it would just be trying too hard. I'm a musician but I can't draw or paint worth shit (in fact I haven't even tried to in years) and I know very little about the subject. What are some other good ideas? I was thinking of taking her to the beach since that's something we both like to do already.

That line sounds good though, I'll just have to figure out how to say it without making it sound cheesy or forced. Isn't it the right side of the brain, though?
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