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Centre of Attention?
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Author:  ThatTallKid [ Mon Jun 23, 2008 9:16 am ]
Post subject:  Centre of Attention?
Hey y'all.

Bit confused as I write this, so sorry if it makes little sense!
I'm a pretty confident guy, and with people I already know, my game is great, so I have a lot of options open from some of these people etc.

My problems come from being out at a bar or club etc.
Do you have to be the life of the party to be able to pick up. Is it possible to just be on the edge talking to mates, and then approach a girl? Because many of the videos I have seen, 'Keys to the VIP' etc. the guys are the main centre of attention and then it seems very normal for the girls to like them.

Thanks in advance.

Andy
Author:  butterfield [ Mon Jun 23, 2008 3:39 pm ]
Post subject: 
Being centre of attention is social proof, also the hot girls are going to go to wherever the fun is.
Author:  TequillaKage [ Mon Jun 23, 2008 3:48 pm ]
Post subject: 
I have to argue with this slightly. I understand the social proofing of the matter but I think it also would bore some (not all) ladies as well. In my case, I approach the quiet girls in the group rather than the loud ones as it suits my personality. I choose girls that suit my requirements. You can stand out by just wearing something different from everyone else. Not only does it make you stand out it also poses you as being someone interesting. Its human nature to notice things that stand out with our EYES not just with our ears. I say try both ways and see which one you get more success with and keep to it.
Author:  mrieus [ Mon Jun 23, 2008 4:44 pm ]
Post subject: 
Yep, I'd agree with TK and BF.

Center of attention is both advantageous and disadvantageous - depends on where you are and who is around.

Being the centre of attention can also get you bad rep - the quieter girls will avoid you, because you are seen to be intimidating. Also, you may come across as being a bit "gay" as you have a lot of focussed female attention possibly...?

Also, you lose that sense of "mystery" which is a fairly important thing when meeting new people - if you are the center of attention, you become a bit of an open book which become boring fairly quickly 'cos everyone has read you.

If you are the center of attention, how can you focus on just one person? You would be splitting your time to thinly and not really gettng anywhere with one person. Also, if you focus on one person, do you annoy the others because they are not getting your time?

I'd say, be the quiet man, have a bit of mystery about you. Focus on small groups, meaning that you can interact at your leisure. If you are as good as you say you are, you can assess the situation (ie if you still want to be talking to that group or not.) You would find that you actually get more out of a conversation that way.

I used to go to a nightclub regularly and got to know all the regular girls and was the centre of attention for a while, but yep, it get's fairly boring, also it's fairly lazy as I already know these girls and wasn't meeting new ones. The ones I would meet would almost always blow me out as they would see me as some kind of "man whore" I guess. I actually remember one girl saying "Don't you think you already have your hands full Mr Greedy?"

That kinda confirmed things for me!!
Author:  ThatTallKid [ Mon Jun 23, 2008 5:32 pm ]
Post subject: 
Perfect!
Thanks guys!
So can definitely have nightclub success wihout being the main person running around organising body shots for everyone etc.!
Coz to be honest, that is not me!!

Thanks
Author:  jurupa [ Wed Jun 25, 2008 7:56 am ]
Post subject: 
It is way better to be who you are than to be someone your not. As it will most likely get you the girls you are more attracted to anyway.
Author:  -Fluff- [ Thu Jun 26, 2008 6:38 am ]
Post subject: 
Be yourself, which you already figured out I guess. You;ll get the girls you really want instead of the ones everyone else wants making you stand out and all that good stuff. Also comes off as non try hardy if ya know what I mean.
Quote:
Yep, I'd agree with TK and BF.

I actually remember one girl saying "Don't you think you already have your hands full Mr Greedy?"
That's called a shit test my friend
Author:  Okiokdan [ Thu Jun 26, 2008 8:57 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Perfect!
Thanks guys!
So can definitely have nightclub success wihout being the main person running around organising body shots for everyone etc.!
Coz to be honest, that is not me!!

Thanks
You don't have to do that to be in the centre of attention. Yea, maybe, to become just another FRIEND. Which you don't want ;) Just be cool with it. If you're talking to 3 hot woman in an open area where a lot of people can see you, you're already in the "centre of attetntion", you already have a high social proof.
Author:  mrieus [ Thu Jun 26, 2008 11:39 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Yep, I'd agree with TK and BF.

I actually remember one girl saying "Don't you think you already have your hands full Mr Greedy?"
Quote:
That's called a shit test my friend
I know - my response was "I have big hands - and big feet - and yes - the rumour is true! Pity you'll never find out!"
Author:  cc [ Thu Jun 26, 2008 1:47 pm ]
Post subject: 
yea be who you are defenatly i used to be the kick back type now i am the certer of attention ecspecially when i go out with my friends we always have a good time but then again i rarely go out at night its not who i am i am more a day game type of person
Author:  dazz3r [ Thu Jun 26, 2008 3:06 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Quote:
Yep, I'd agree with TK and BF.

I actually remember one girl saying "Don't you think you already have your hands full Mr Greedy?"
Quote:
That's called a shit test my friend
I know - my response was "I have big hands - and big feet - and yes - the rumour is true! Pity you'll never find out!"
Thats an awesome reply man lol.
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