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My girlfriend is making me miserable.?
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Author:  tomtomp [ Fri May 30, 2008 5:35 pm ]
Post subject:  My girlfriend is making me miserable.?
im such a mess right now, this girl is very special to me but she makes me miserable.

she plays these fucking mind games, i dont have very many freinds anymore. 2 went to the army, 2 moved away and ive got 2 left that are always working.. these where all very very close freinds..

but anyway she has a ton of guy friends and she is always busy with something and she will tell me all about her planst, NOT invite me to them then get back from them and tell me how fun they where. and the hole time im stuck at home miserable.

these fucking mind games make me feel like a piece of shit and im sick of it i like this girl a lot

i have no idea what to do..


P.S. theres no cheating going on she just absolutely loves the feeling she gets when she blows me off, the oooh i have the power in the relationship feeling.
Author:  c_n12 [ Fri May 30, 2008 5:44 pm ]
Post subject: 
She has got you AFCd and is dominating and owning your reality. You NEED to DOMINATE AND OWN HER REALITY! If she is bullshitting you it means you are afraid of losing her and are not calling her out on her shit when she needs to be called out on it.

Women are not stupid; they know when they have control of a guy and won't blatantly go out of there way to tell you this. They will simply own you. A lot of indirect guys who learn all these opinion openers, plausible deniability and active disinterest believe that somehow women don't know what the underlying tone of things are.

They know it far better than most guys ever will. It doesn't even sound like she is truly attracted to you and is just stringing you until someone better comes along or you get your ass in gear and change yourself. The first thing a lot of attractive women (9-10+) I have spoken to question whenever they are randomly approached no matter what a guy says they typically assume the mindset the guy is hitting on them.

If you are afraid of rejection or losing her than she is controling your reality and you need to fix that if you want things to change. You need to be willing to accept whatever you have to face and take charge of her reality if you ever want things to change.

- Chris 8)
Author:  tomtomp [ Fri May 30, 2008 6:13 pm ]
Post subject: 
i dont want to fucking dominate and own her reality.. what the fuck man. then she will feel like i feel right now. i just want a mutual respect from her and she wont fucking give it to me..

but im not going to be a dickhead and put her in the awful position im in right now. i actually LIKE this person.. shes not just some # in my book
Author:  Okiokdan [ Fri May 30, 2008 6:35 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
i dont want to fucking dominate and own her reality.. what the fuck man. then she will feel like i feel right now. i just want a mutual respect from her and she wont fucking give it to me..

but im not going to be a dickhead and put her in the awful position im in right now. i actually LIKE this person.. shes not just some # in my book
I know what you're into right now dude. A female friend of mine is in your exact same situation. She LIKES him too.

As hard it may sound, but you need to grab your freaking things together and MAN up. Woman LIKE male dominance they are attracted to it (to a certain point ofc!). She is now the dominant person in your relationship and that's certainly not the way you want it to be; as in the situation your into right now and your whole confidence level which is really important.

You don't deserve to be treated like shit and she doesn't deserve to be treated like shit. BUT if you DONT do shit about it, it doesn't look good for you. What if she finds somebody else, a man that doesn't treat her like shit but does dominate her?!?!

If a friend of mine is in the same situation as you are in right now, I would help him at first. If he doesn't want that, I would seriously slap him because he's being too freaking pussy.

Use our advice, its not like we want you to feel bad! Or, you really need to consider ditching this girl, despite you really like her!!
Author:  tomtomp [ Fri May 30, 2008 6:47 pm ]
Post subject: 
i understand what your saying but i don't know how to do it to be honest..

how can i dominate her.. like blow her off a couple times/? something like that? i mean i KNEW i had my work cut out for me when i started this relationship, she is a tomboy that got hot, all she has is boys for freinds and she at times treats me like a guy friend instead of a boyfriend..

idk if i even want to continue with her, why would she put me through this if she is so intouch and knows how it makes me feel..
Author:  c_n12 [ Fri May 30, 2008 6:48 pm ]
Post subject: 
To get her mutual respect you need to stop manipulating as well. Manipulation is always a two way street. You want her to stay with you so you are manipulating her (even if it is a lack of confidence) by trying to supplicate her by letting her walk on you and she is manipulating you by utilizing the situation and taking control of the frame. You need to get common ground and be honest with her and if she is giving you shit let her know you are not going to stand for it.

If you are trying to say I'm unethical I don't even use opinion openers or hide my interest from a girl because it is wrong and ineffective and decietful; you're hiding your interest when you really want a woman and starting a relationship on lies and ulterior motives

I don't befriend AMOGs or women in a set I don't want because I go after the woman I want and make no apologies for it. Funny thing is when I do this AMOGs won't dare touch the girl because she is happy and the are afraid to fuck with it just to give you a fair idea. Mystery Method students are taught to use false time constraints, plausibe deniability, opinion openers and whole series of other techniques to make excuses for why they are with a woman instead of expressing themselves as a sexual being and simply telling the woman how they feel; they start their relationships on a lie.

Dominating her reality doesn't mean being a dickhead, disrespectful, ruse, crass, controlling or anything of the kind. It means you make your own decisions and make no apologies for your desires as a man or for running your own life. To get mutual respect you must first set your own standards and know what you are going to accept and what you are not going to accept. Unless you are going to call her on her shit and take control of your own life you're going to keep on getting the results you are getting. Don't do things you don't want to (blowing her off, acting fake, ect.) Just act the way you feel; if she is making you upset or if you don't like what she is doing tell her. You have to be really brainwashed by the community to not know how to be honest.

If you don't like what she is doing tell her, if you're upset with her and the way she is behaving just do what you feel is right. If you want to be hoenst have confidence and don't change your behavior; JUST BE YOUR REAL SELF! Do what YOU feel and don't compromise your behavior and you will be honest with her.

- Chris 8)
Author:  tomtomp [ Fri May 30, 2008 6:58 pm ]
Post subject: 
thank you, both of you, your second post was very helpful chris. i plan on calling her on her shit. i just dont understand how she can do that to me. like she does to concerts cookouts beachfires, and doesn't invite me to them what a fucking bitch..

im calling her on it today and i decided to give her a week trial if she doesn't change in that week im going to end it because i was happier when i was single then i am right now
Author:  Roads [ Fri May 30, 2008 7:18 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: My girlfriend is making me miserable.?
Quote:
im such a mess right now, this girl is very special to me but she makes me miserable.

she plays these fucking mind games, i dont have very many freinds anymore. 2 went to the army, 2 moved away and ive got 2 left that are always working.. these where all very very close freinds..

but anyway she has a ton of guy friends and she is always busy with something and she will tell me all about her planst, NOT invite me to them then get back from them and tell me how fun they where. and the hole time im stuck at home miserable.

these fucking mind games make me feel like a piece of shit and im sick of it i like this girl a lot

i have no idea what to do..


P.S. theres no cheating going on she just absolutely loves the feeling she gets when she blows me off, the oooh i have the power in the relationship feeling.
You identify her dominance and control as two primary characteristics of her personality in your relationship, yet you find her "special" and you "like this girl a lot".

You have to ask yourself, are you really miserable, or are you happy being miserable? Because from what I can see, you like the mind games, you feel awful when she's not around and euphoric when she gives you attention...like a puppy around his master. At some level, you must realize that she is the source of your misery. But, much as an addict who knows heroine is destroying his life, you continue jabbing the needle into your wrist.

So here's the thing: we all think that we can be the captains of our relationships based on PUA philosophy. Well, PUA is an awful source to look at for relationship advice. If the answers "Sarge." and "Go sleep with ten other women." don't solve your problems, you need to look elsewhere for guidance.

In the real world, long term relationships work because the partners fit into their roles. Sometimes the woman leads the relationship. She may not be very good at it because she's a woman, but the man is just not strong enough to do it...then that's exactly what makes the relationship work for both of them. If you change the dynamics, if all of a sudden one or both parties stop playing their role, it could be a show stopper. Just so we're clear, in order to change and become the dominant party in the relationship, you must be willing to risk losing her forever. If you accept this, you will find that the answers to your relationship problems are right in front of you.
Author:  Selective [ Fri May 30, 2008 9:01 pm ]
Post subject:  Building a house...
Let's put this in building a house terms so ~some~ people can get it.

You don't know shit about building houses other than you've seen a bunch of them. You get your hammer and stuff and go to work. Your house sucks when you're finished. Some of your carpenter friends come a long and say "Duh!" you don't know how to build houses. You say, but i want to build my house my way! I want it to be natural! I want this house to be unique and special! blah, blah, blah, just fill in whatever crap you have to say about relationships.

Of course your carpenter friends are going to tell you that there are certain things you have to do when building a house or your stupid organic all natural house will fall down. He says he's willing to teach you. You say, I don't want to learn, I want my house to be organic, natural, spontaneous! blah, blah, blah whatever relationship crap you like to say...

Instead, when someone says this is how you build a house, you say, thanks...now my house will be strong. What you are, in essense, saying when you don't want to 'dominate' or whatever word that's being used is... I want people to like me for me. AFC!!!!!! I want people to like my house even though the foundation sucks and all the wiring is going to cause it to burn down...just because I made it! hahahahah

You need to recognize what you are not good at and improve it! That's what you're here for! Geez!!!!! If you are going to insist on acting like an AFC then go to their web site...nice guys finish last . com!
Author:  tomtomp [ Sat May 31, 2008 6:09 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
ou identify her dominance and control as two primary characteristics of her personality in your relationship, yet you find her "special" and you "like this girl a lot".

You have to ask yourself, are you really miserable, or are you happy being miserable? Because from what I can see, you like the mind games, you feel awful when she's not around and euphoric when she gives you attention...like a puppy around his master. At some level, you must realize that she is the source of your misery. But, much as an addict who knows heroine is destroying his life, you continue jabbing the needle into your wrist
lol no im not a puppy at all i called her on her shit today hardcore and it actually lead to a huge fight that actually solved the problem today after the fight was awesome. perfect. turned out she was doing that shit to get back at me for being a dickhead to her the previous few days.


and maybe a relationship section should be added to these boards, i know its a pickup artist forums but MOST guys on here are probably looking to learn the skills to me a girl which if successful will lead to a relationship.

there is no way everyone here is just looking for meaningless fucks..
Author:  Okiokdan [ Sat May 31, 2008 9:18 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Quote:
and maybe a relationship section should be added to these boards, i know its a pickup artist forums but MOST guys on here are probably looking to learn the skills to me a girl which if successful will lead to a relationship.

there is no way everyone here is just looking for meaningless fucks..
Agreed :) Btw, I'm glad your problem got solved!
Author:  Rye Lee [ Sat May 31, 2008 7:44 pm ]
Post subject: 
We're working on a relationship section as we speak.
Author:  jurupa [ Sun Jun 01, 2008 10:35 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
turned out she was doing that shit to get back at me for being a dickhead to her the previous few days.
So in the end it turns out to be a communication problem between the two of you and nothing more. I don't know how old the two of you are, but I think working on that communication part is in order.
Author:  Clancey [ Sun Jun 01, 2008 11:49 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
turned out she was doing that shit to get back at me for being a dickhead to her the previous few days.
Had you actually been a dickhead then? It's worth bearing in mind that she might just have been trying to spin things back on you. It seems that she's got a lot of control over you and you need to be careful of being subconsciously submissive.

How long has she been doing this (messing you around)? How long have you supposedly been acting like a dickhead? Does that add up?

It seems that the biggest problem here is your own lack of confidence. What you don't realise is that YOU NEED TO DOMINATE IN ORDER TO HAVE AN EQUAL RELATIONSHIP. I know that sounds counter intuitive, but so does most of the stuff when you're starting out...
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