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Thinking Ahead Too Much
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Author:  BusinessTime [ Thu May 29, 2008 9:20 pm ]
Post subject:  Thinking Ahead Too Much

Whenever I'm talking to someone who I don't know very well, whether it be a HB or an old man, I get this fleeting feeling in my stomache.

Whenever I am talking or the person is talking my mind is going crazy into thinking of what to say next in order to prolong the conversation, in order not to make anything awkward, or in order to have a good getaway and last word.

For example today, I was talking to my neighbor's wife about our dog and while she was explaining something to me I felt this anxiety about what to say after she had finished. I'm pretty sure my body language gave off weak vibes and I seemed uninterested because my brain was fidgeting of what to do/say next.

How do I fix this? This problem is obviously worse when talking to a HB, and I constantly get this fleeting feeling and I can't be in the now.

-Jeremy

Author:  Romantic100 [ Thu May 29, 2008 9:50 pm ]
Post subject: 

When you are in this kind of situation what you should do is Listen to the person and clear out everything your thinking of and just focus on what they are saying.WHy? Because what they say will exactly tell you what to say next Gratci

Author:  Goldeneye [ Thu May 29, 2008 10:27 pm ]
Post subject: 

Take improv classes. And relax.

Author:  MikeTyson [ Thu May 29, 2008 10:55 pm ]
Post subject: 

I agree wholeheartedly with the above. Also, with older men you really shouldn't be as concerned. If you're a guy in his 20s, you really don't need a whole hell of a lot of game. In fact, when gaming men in say - their 60s I will totally skip rapport and comfort building. They basically want a toy. I hope this helps. Cheers!

Author:  The night fox [ Thu May 29, 2008 11:40 pm ]
Post subject: 

Just relax and if you mess up who cares? Maybe you could read some books on small talk?

Author:  ResCogitans [ Fri May 30, 2008 1:05 am ]
Post subject: 

Thats exactly one of my biggest issues, if I lived in the US i'd be taking improv classes. I found a few books in amazon that seem really good.

Next year i'll take theater classes, though.

Author:  MSmith19 [ Fri May 30, 2008 1:19 am ]
Post subject: 

Try to preoccupy your mind with something rather than 'I have to keep them interested or they won't like me.'

Go with the attitude that you're attractive, they're interested in you no matter what.

Author:  BusinessTime [ Sat Jun 07, 2008 8:38 am ]
Post subject: 

Thanks for the advice. After going out in the field tonight I realize I didn't worry about this as much and just let things flow.

Author:  johnnyonly [ Sat Jun 07, 2008 8:45 am ]
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yeah, when i feel nervious.. as if her critical condensending eye is searching me for error and incompatnace.. i start to forcast her responses and predict the outcome and struggle to engineer a better out come....

i deal with this by telling myself fuck it, let's just have fun and tease her...

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