I havn't watched TV for 4 years.
Time to get some info what is going on in a world
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| How to have an interesting conversation (with anyone)? https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=22537 |
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| Author: | looking_at_the_sunset [ Wed May 28, 2008 9:36 pm ] |
| Post subject: | How to have an interesting conversation (with anyone)? |
I noticed that people (sometimes even those who I know well and for a long time) get bored quite quickly during conversation with me, sometimes even start yawning! Or, I run out of topics quickly, often just because I think that some topics are boring or seem like try hard and I do not want to even bring them up. Which leads to awkward silence and often end of conversation. Also, because of these above, I often have AA - I just think that I have nothing to say to a girl... How to be interesting? What to talk about and how to speak and behave? |
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| Author: | beyondevil [ Wed May 28, 2008 9:44 pm ] |
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I have played around with this. I think the key is the way you express yourself (charisma and body language). Sometimes I talk about boring topics, but do so in such a way that they are fond of my passion. If the conversation dies I keep a few topics to bring up. 1) Do you have a band that you really like, but would never admit to liking? You can talk about how people these days just conform to top 40. 2) If someone gave you a million bucks, and you could to any three countries which would you pick and why. DHV option 3) You know what, i am craving and adventure. Which three adventures are next on your list? 4) General observation. You can talk about how someone you work with is a total nut. Allude to dwight schrute. 5) DHV- Mentalism trick 6) Bring up old funny stories. I do this all the time. Think of what interests you, and modify it so it becomes more general. Hope it helps, Im just starting out as well. |
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| Author: | Killians [ Wed May 28, 2008 10:28 pm ] |
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The key is to come up with something interesting enough that it can lead to other topics. Also, being up to date on pop culture is a good thing. |
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| Author: | looking_at_the_sunset [ Wed May 28, 2008 11:50 pm ] |
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I havn't watched TV for 4 years. Time to get some info what is going on in a world
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| Author: | beyondevil [ Thu May 29, 2008 12:03 am ] |
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In Toronto we have a mag called Now Toronto. Has all the info on new clubs, bars and shows. |
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| Author: | looking_at_the_sunset [ Tue Jun 10, 2008 12:31 am ] |
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Please post some more topics here, with examples. |
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| Author: | ace_of_spades [ Tue Jun 10, 2008 1:07 am ] |
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I have a different take on the subjects. Having a list of topics/routines ready to go for when you do blank or the convo gets stale for some reason is amazing. Even if you do not use them, the confidence you derive from knowing that there is a backup plan will work wonders. Plus you are talking about people you've known for a very long time, so it sounds like you should focus on conversational skills as opposed to enlarging your bag of routines. So I'm gonna talk to you about a few of my personal favorite convo techniques. The first resource I recommend is Juggler's book - 'how to be a pickup artist'. He talks about speaking in open-ended statements as opposed to questions. It's better explained there. Second, when you're having a conversation with a friend, you may notice that you 'go off on a tangent' quite a lot - go back to shared experiences, memories, whatever. This takes skill with a stranger and will not come naturally - but combine the ability to go off on tangents with some open-ended statements and you're on your way to speed rapport. It's really not as difficult as it sounds. Let's say this is the beginning of a day 2 [Ace] Man, you would not believe the day I had yesterday[open-ended: she can ask me later]. What's with the smile? I bet you're smiling about the trouble you were causing last night! [open-ended] [HB] Nah, I wasn't feeling well so I stayed in and watched Bridget Jones while drinking hot chocolate. This is an enthusiastic response, but in anything she throws your way, there will be a potential tangent you can go off on - a new thread, if you will (so you can multithread - another good rapport technique). In this it was: 'staying in', 'Bridget Jones', 'hot chocolate'. I can take the 'staying in' response and tell the story of how I stayed in to look after my sick female SPAM instead of going to a friend's birthday party and how I ended up taking her to the hospital. (true story, by the way - yours might be different, but make sure you give her a lot of possible topics for multithreading - she'll catch on eventually) I can take the 'Bridget Jones' part and talk about how much I hate that film, although it has Hugh Grant in it, which is weird because I usually like his films... etc. Again, give her something she can pick up and easily continue the conversation with. I can take the 'hot chocolate' response and talk about my favorite place in the universe - a caffe which is actually called 'chocolate drinkery' in my hometown in Poland, where they make the weirdest flavored hot chocolates on the planet. I never expected chilli hot chocolate to make me feel more alive than ever before! Anything she gives you is an opportunity to open another thread. I'm not saying you should change subjects after every sentence, but bear that in mind. This is a way to open a bunch of threads in the beginning, so that afterwards you can just relax and jump between them. Also, learn to talk from the 'I perspective' (again: Juggler) and explore emotional rather than factual aspects of the story. Talk about how stuff felt. Don't say 'it was 90 degrees in the shade', say 'it felt like the friggin Sahara'. That's about it for now, if you want to ask me anything more, shoot me a PM. As an afterthought: don't lose sight of having a bag of kickass routines/stories ready to go. They are important and useful during the initial meetings, but after a while, you'll be forced to improvise. So work on both 
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| Author: | kommodo [ Tue Jun 10, 2008 7:16 pm ] |
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One I have used to great succes is: Who would win in a fight, a cat or a smurf? (mad props to the guy who posted this one) If she picks cat then you should choose smurf, and argue with her a bit until she picks your choise, when she agrees with you then you should flip heel again and pick the other. But be sure to pick a mutual favorite in the end and you will always have a personal thing with her (like smurfs, if you picked them in the end). This has worked a lot for me in the past. Is there anyone who has more stories like the smurf one? |
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| Author: | scuglass [ Tue Jun 10, 2008 9:44 pm ] |
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Personally canned material got old quite fast for me... how much fun is it to go around and talk about shit that dosent matter to you? I just go in and be myself... the key is to show that you believe what your talking about is important. TheSAINT showed me that it doesnt matter what you talk about as long as you are interested in what your saying. If you think its boring and unimportant what is gonna make her think its fun.... |
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| Author: | weefunker [ Wed Jun 11, 2008 3:51 am ] |
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i personally have a little technique that I picked up from a seduction book but i used already quite strangely in conversation with my brother as i find it hard to talk to him as he's not quite like me and adapted it so i could use it when I get 'stuck' as you say Think of a short story (about you or otherwise) for every letter of the Alphabet that you can and when you get stuck imagine you are flipping through an encyclopedia of your stories and randomly land on a page then just sound excited and deliver, takes all off two seconds and you will get really good at it eventually Also a good way ive found of training yourself to be good at thinking on the spot is to make parody's of songs, that you know, while your listening to them on the spot don't think about it before hand! do it in front of your buddies when your drinking, getting high or whatever it may sound impossible but after a while you will be really good at it and will get a lot of laughs But I big part of my approach anxiety I have noticed usually comes from the voice in your head, but if you dont listen to the voice in your head, you will be on 'autopilot' and so will seem a lot more natural and you wont give yourself time to talk yourself out of it! I just let my legs take me in most cases as if I don't my head will talk me out of it and im more worried about the lower half of my body when sarging  good luck hope this helps |
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