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What does it all mean?
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Author:  rookie41102 [ Mon May 19, 2008 1:01 am ]
Post subject:  What does it all mean?

In short: I left my wife while she was pregnant with child, b/c of constant fighting, dis-respect and treating me like shit. We got back together a week later, b/c i still cared for her and she realized how she was treating me and promised change. A week later I left again after a huge argument. Shed call me and text me goodnight or find ways for me to come over. I still wanted something, but wasnt sure what. I finally told her to quit calling me unless its about the baby or her kids. She in return got mad and told me we was getting divorced and didnt need me etc. I got really depressed and attempted suicide. When I was in the er recooperating mom called her and told her what happened. It pissed her off and she supposedly had an abortion. I never showed to court for divorce. Which she was mad about. Maybe she was hoping I would and try to talk her out of it. I was ashamed, didnt want to see her or talk to her. About a month and 1/2 past with no communication she txts me out of nowhere. "Hey sup? How are you doing?", I return the txt "Good, You?" , how are the kids, tell em i said hi, etc. Now she txts me every other week with "How are you doin?"...we both cut em short like "good" see ya. I dont want to show interest. BUt i still feel something...Dont know why, but do. I dont call her or txt her, but she finds ways to txt me. Last week she txt me "Hey wassup? How are you? Hey you have the # to such and such place?"...I know she can use the phone book or 411 or ask one of her other friends for the number. I did txt her back, "Ya, funny I have an interview there today" (Which I did), she in return replied "Wow, thats crazy! Thanks, the kids said hi and they miss you", I was sleeping so 2 hrs later I reply, "Hey Back..." ( Saying hey back to the kids ) she replied "lol, your silly...the kids said hi". I said "hey back again", "Tell them I miss em" "See ya around".......So what does that all mean? Is she checking up on me? Does she miss me? Is she waiting for me to make the first move since I left her? I havent heard anything for a week now, but Im not going out of my way to txt her. I did notice tho in one of her myspace pics she got a tattoo coverup of my name that was on her neck. Its a big fuckin dragon, almost like a sleeve. It looks sooo trashy. After seeing that Im like wow what did I think of her, She used to have some class, but now looks like a hoochie momma. I must of really got to her by leaving her...She did a complete 180...I just dont get her...we have no ties to each other anymore, why is she txting me? She had another cell phone, why is she keeping this one loaded with mins and on? Is it just in case I would happen to call her? Im confused.......Any insights?

Author:  Fiction dTAJIr8v [ Mon May 19, 2008 5:46 am ]
Post subject:  Re: What does it all mean?

Quote:
Dont know why, but do.
I do. Every girl you ever spend a significant amount of time, particularly as a close friend, you will feel something for. You have fond memories of the good times and somewhere in fantasyland you think that if you said the right things and she changed the little problems (they're always little problem, or at least fixable things) it would all be hunky dorey.

Trust me, I've had three serious relationships, and it is was like that with every one of them. Hell, I feel that way for close female friend. The little romantic in you imagines that life could be beautiful. Your bond is even closer considering you have kids with her.
Quote:
Is she checking up on me?


No.
Quote:
Does she miss me?


Probably.
Quote:
Is she waiting for me to make the first move since I left her?


Probably.
Quote:
After seeing that Im like wow what did I think of her, She used to have some class, but now looks like a hoochie momma.
Good, with any luck, you will see her as irreparable.
Quote:
why is she txting me?


Because she a) misses you, b) wants to know that she could get you back, or c) all of the above.
Quote:
Im confused.......Any insights?
What is confusing you? You broke up with her because she is apparently a crazy bitch. You had very good reason to break up with her. Yet you are still attracted to her for the reasons I mentioned above, this is understandable, but the realist in you should know that it is highly unlikely that she will change. Moreover, your involvement will not likely precipitate said changes.

I advise distancing yourself from her, she is trouble and you don't seem to get along well, regardless of your feeling toward her. Hell, she sounds like she's only gotten worse since you left. Should you decide to pursue this relationship, you should make sure everyone's cards are on the table, and you make the rules. In other words:

You ask her why she continues to contact you. Chances are she'll get pissed and stop talking to you. You'll feel bad, but the problem is solved. If she tells you that she misses you, you should tell her your feelings--you miss her too. Let her go from there. If and when she decides to do something about it, tell her in very clear terms the sort of shit that she should not do and what will happen when she crosses the line.

Oh yeah, and follow through with what you say--do not bitch out at the last moment.

Author:  NOILLUSION [ Mon May 19, 2008 5:54 am ]
Post subject: 

I'm kinda confused about your post. No disrespect, but how old are you? You're married, but you sound like me when I was 14 years old and thought about suicide when my girlfriend broke up with me. I'm 21 now, and one of the greatest life lessons that I've learned since then is to always put your own dreams before anyone or anything else. If you do that, you won't be miserable. You have your own life to live.
This woman was pregnant with your child, had an abortion, wanted a divorce, and now it sounds like she wants to start something with you again?

You make her sound very weak and dependent, so that's what I'm assuming. I'm also assuming that you got married at a young age.

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