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Immediate help appropriate
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Author:  Ravill [ Fri May 02, 2008 6:15 am ]
Post subject:  Immediate help appropriate

Hi guys,

I have just met agirl and had lunch with her. I tried to create a funny, cokcy SPAM and were even able to touch her hand and careassing her skin for one or two seconds without her pulling off.
Later she refused to meet me this weekend due to business. I treid to play it down and ignore her rejection. I told her that everz hard working student has to relax and so on ...
She said maybe next week. i answered: " yeah maybe, but maybe I will be busy next week. You should use the chance you have."
She answered in a very fast habit: "ok, then lets confirm for next week, sunday."
Later she send me an sms: "Are you interested in me? (Korean letters for ha ha)"
I did not answer yet and she texted me 2 hours ago. This feels like a shit test or something and I thought it could be helpful to make her wait for an answer. I wanted to use the arrogance line (Hey, you are really arrogant to get this kind of idea etc.)
But I am not able to interpret her bahaviour. I figured out that she is 3 years older that me(27 compared to 24) and I mentioned that older girls more often like to ecallate themselves.
But maybe she just wants to reject, if there is any positive answer.

You guys have any idea?

Author:  leftytheking [ Fri May 02, 2008 7:32 am ]
Post subject: 

It's a test. I would answer something like:

"o.0 Are you coming on to me? I knew I was sexy but... wow, that was fast. Since you asked, though- you're not bad... Why'd you ask?

Author:  Ravill [ Fri May 02, 2008 8:22 am ]
Post subject: 

Thank you man,
this feels way better than mine. I really appreciate that.
But anyway, I changed the last part "Why would you ask" to @but do not get crazy about it. I do usually prefer sporty women" as I figured out that she is not that sportz in our conversation. To not insult her I added these to "^^".

Author:  Ravill [ Fri May 02, 2008 11:06 am ]
Post subject: 

.... damn I think I screwed a little bit up with this one ^^.
I wrote the message as suggested with the given alteration, but I obviously underestimated culural differances here in korea. Her answer
What? what do u talking about? I dont think so about you. Maybe there are misunderstandings between us. Ha Ha. I just asked your situation not mine. I am not interested in you sexually. I`m sorry. My asking was korean expression. Ha Ha. I just want to be "friends".

I really dont know where to go from here. I am not interested in a friendship relation. But I could imagine that there are still other possibilities when playing this issue down?
any opinions on this?

Author:  Fiction dTAJIr8v [ Fri May 02, 2008 2:05 pm ]
Post subject: 

Quote:
.... damn I think I screwed a little bit up with this one ^^.
I wrote the message as suggested with the given alteration, but I obviously underestimated culural differances here in korea. Her answer
What? what do u talking about? I dont think so about you. Maybe there are misunderstandings between us. Ha Ha. I just asked your situation not mine. I am not interested in you sexually. I`m sorry. My asking was korean expression. Ha Ha. I just want to be "friends".

I really dont know where to go from here. I am not interested in a friendship relation. But I could imagine that there are still other possibilities when playing this issue down?
any opinions on this?
You didn't fuck anything up--it just didn't work. Frankly, I don't think that most people appreciate the difficulties of sarging with Asian people. I live in China, and everything about pickup here is difficult and awkward. There are massive cultural and language gulfs to cross.

For a follow up, I would just say that you were joking around with her, just having fun. Make her feel like the awkward one for being so serious.

But here is the thing--when it comes to people of a vastly different culture and language, a LOT is lost in translation--teasing, joking, negging, even flirting can all be misunderstood. It is not that PUA principles do not apply, just that when bridging a gulf like that, don't think that subtlety is your friend. A lot of courtship is sending subtle signals to get women thinking about certain things and not be direct in your intentions. Abandon this notion.

In the end language is interpretive. We have all experienced times, even with women of our own culture and native speakers of our own language, who have misinterpreted our words and misread our intentions because of the mindsets that they were in when you spoke to them or the context they were placed it. Ultimately we cannot avoid this interpretive element.

The problem with pickup is that you rarely have a chance to clarify things, because clarification is a logical endeavor, and logic is something we want to avoid. We all know this as well--you try to deliver a joke, and someone else doesn't get it the first time, but you don't want to explain it because it will kill the humor.

Pickup with people from very different cultures, speaking different languages is all about directness and obviousness. This can be tweaked of course, and the degree to which you may use subtlety depends on the language and cultural difference (which depends on them)--the bigger the gap, the more direct you MUST be.

Don't expect it to pan out every time either. Everything you do in this context is going to be a high-risk, high-reward move. Just deal with it. You will lose a lot of sets more than likely.

A few things do remain the same--mainly how you present yourself before conversation is initiated. Follow these things to ensure that you have a high attractiveness before you even begin to talk:

- Make sure you are exuding strong body language.
- Make sure you are looking the best you possibly can--well groomed, dressed, and fit.
- Be socially proofed--act outgoing, friendly, and talkative.
- Be preselected by women.
- Show a willingness to emote.
- Always appear to be having fun.
- Never seem pouty.

All these things are universally appealing and do not necessitate the use of language.

Author:  Fiction dTAJIr8v [ Fri May 02, 2008 2:14 pm ]
Post subject: 

As to what you do with this girl in particular--give up on directly trying to attract her. Instead, focus on those things I mentioned and become more attractive. If nothing else, take her as a friend and you can get with her other hot friends.

Author:  Ravill [ Fri May 02, 2008 5:03 pm ]
Post subject: 

hmmmm .... thank you, that helped a lot, because I now have a lot to think about and a better idea of the reasons problems are deriving from.

Author:  M_blues09 [ Fri May 02, 2008 7:24 pm ]
Post subject: 

hey u didn't mess up man. it could either be that she likes you and wanted to know if you did too or she doesn't like you in a sexual way and wanted to clear things up.

if she likes you she is just putting her defenses up. some girls are weird in that when things are good they do things to throw you off. so when this happens you need to just act the same don't change cuz you don't want her to see that it bothered you. cuz you didn't say you liked her and she was like oh i just like you as a friend not sexual. that right there seems like she is throwing you off.

or she just wants to be your friend but to see wat she does just step up the flirting a subtly. i don't know about asian women in asia but just try this.

oh and keep ur options open cuz you don't want to get one itis witha girl like this trust me.

hope this helps

Author:  saqchek [ Fri May 02, 2008 7:43 pm ]
Post subject: 

Quote:
hey u didn't mess up man. it could either be that she likes you and wanted to know if you did too or she doesn't like you in a sexual way and wanted to clear things up.

if she likes you she is just putting her defenses up. some girls are weird in that when things are good they do things to throw you off. so when this happens you need to just act the same don't change cuz you don't want her to see that it bothered you. cuz you didn't say you liked her and she was like oh i just like you as a friend not sexual. that right there seems like she is throwing you off.

or she just wants to be your friend but to see wat she does just step up the flirting a subtly. i don't know about asian women in asia but just try this.

oh and keep ur options open cuz you don't want to get one itis witha girl like this trust me.

hope this helps
He did mess up. She clearly told him she wasn't interested in him sexually and he is interested in her. He failed to build attraction at the luncheon they had. No shame in messing up, just learn where you went wrong. If anything, use this girl as a pivot. Chances of you attracting this girl now are slim and none as it looks like you are the the LJBF zone.

My suggestion is to game other women and make this chick your pivot.

Author:  M_blues09 [ Fri May 02, 2008 8:00 pm ]
Post subject: 

Quote:
He did mess up. She clearly told him she wasn't interested in him sexually and he is interested in her. He failed to build attraction at the luncheon they had. No shame in messing up, just learn where you went wrong. If anything, use this girl as a pivot. Chances of you attracting this girl now are slim and none as it looks like you are the the LJBF zone.

My suggestion is to game other women and make this chick your pivot.


dude its still early he just met the girl of course she is not going to say im attracted to you sexually she just met the guy. all im saying is she might be attracted to him but its still early. she was the one that brought up the question if he liked her in the first place. she just wanted to make sense of the situation and some girls you have to put time in.

also she doesn't mind hanging out with him she just wants to get to know him some more. thats what i see with my past expiriences.

and all im saying to ravill is to not get one itis and to keep his options open but at the same time don't brush her off cuz it was a shit test she threw at him.

Author:  Ravill [ Sun May 04, 2008 3:09 pm ]
Post subject: 

OK,
here is what i think myself. I am rather sure that I did create some attraction as I touched her hand without her pulling it back.
And that is rather far for the first date with two of her friends present.
However, the style of the answer was way too aggresive for this early state.
Either my first assumption about the attraction was wrong or I really scared her off. I think could have sounded a bit immature for this stage. I mean I only knew for 3 hours. I really misinterpreted her question.
Imho she was just looking where to go from here and trying to get comfortable with the situation and I fired back with cannonballs. That should scare of most girls.
By the way what does Itis mean. I did not find it in the abbreviation list.

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