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How should one handle being flaked or stood up on a date?
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Author:  Fakked [ Sun Nov 12, 2017 1:13 pm ]
Post subject:  How should one handle being flaked or stood up on a date?
If they flaked on you and ignored your calls and texts on game day, after telling you they wanted you to take them on a date, and it's someone that you see regularly, how would you handle it the next time you saw them?
Author:  Curtis72 [ Sun Nov 12, 2017 1:28 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: How should one handle being flaked or stood up on a date
That's plain rude. Personally, I'd just ignore them and maybe make the odd snide comment if we were together in a group. This girl has literally no respect for you, handle her how you want.
Author:  kidfromcro [ Sun Nov 12, 2017 2:36 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: How should one handle being flaked or stood up on a date
i wouldn't,move on
Author:  masterm1ne [ Sun Nov 12, 2017 6:59 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: How should one handle being flaked or stood up on a date
It's funny because I was going to post this as I'm going thru it right now with someone who I thought I had a connection with.

The only time I don't call someone back or ignore texts is when I don't want to see the woman.
Author:  Arch Stanton [ Sun Nov 12, 2017 7:50 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: How should one handle being flaked or stood up on a date
Quote:
It's funny because I was going to post this as I'm going thru it right now with someone who I thought I had a connection with.
It's easy for men to impart how they feel about a woman onto how they think she feels about him...especially women who have faces you really, really like, lol. The key is to pay attention to her actions, not her words or a "vibe".
Author:  Arch Stanton [ Sun Nov 12, 2017 7:55 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: How should one handle being flaked or stood up on a date
Quote:
If they flaked on you and ignored your calls and texts on game day, after telling you they wanted you to take them on a date, and it's someone that you see regularly, how would you handle it the next time you saw them?

Normally, I ghost the girl. DO NOT send a butthurt "respect me!" text. I've had women blow off our first date. I said, and did nothing, and they'd hit me up down the road because I played it cool.

Remember that socially valuable women have way, way more options than most men. They have ex bf issues, three or four orbiters at least, a guy they're emotionally attached to but not sexually, a guy they're only sexually attracted to, etc. All of these things are playing out when you first contact a "single" woman who is of very high social value (young, fit).

Your problem is unusual, in that you see this girl regularly, and have to face her after she blew you off. Don't say anything. Remain playful, fun, and slightly indifferent. Flirt with other women in front of her. Even better, go on a date with a girl, and have her see.

Actions are always more effective than words.

your complete indifference to her blow-off will likely get her head spinning. And if a woman is thinking about you, she's closer to texting you to come over.
Author:  JackZero [ Sun Nov 12, 2017 8:57 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: How should one handle being flaked or stood up on a date
OP, don't change a thing when it comes to how you act around her. Just don't ask her out.
Author:  Curtis72 [ Sun Nov 12, 2017 10:08 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: How should one handle being flaked or stood up on a date
I disagree with Arch, this girl has shown herself to be pretty rude and not the sort of chick you want to hang around. If she has a lack of (good) options, then she may be an option later down the line for something short term.

You want to be her best option not her choice because nobody else was available. Arch is spot on though when he says that attractive women can get options easily and since she isn't really interested in you, it's pretty likely she'll cheat or break up before long.
Author:  DJ_Z [ Sun Nov 12, 2017 10:30 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: How should one handle being flaked or stood up on a date
An amalgam of previous answers:

1. Don't try to ask her out because you can't trust she'll keep her word.

2. Don't be rude/mean/petty because that will justify her telling everyone how mean you are.
Author:  Fakked [ Mon Nov 13, 2017 7:47 am ]
Post subject:  Re: How should one handle being flaked or stood up on a date
I hear people say things like “don’t take it personally” but why the heck not? It does feel pretty insulting: They apparently have little value for your time, from where I’m standing they have little respect, and think it’s better to agree to a date and just blow you off, instead of saying they can’t make it. So why shouldn’t you take it personally? But on the flip-side, girls that do that seem sort of emotionally broken.

You shouldn’t take it personally by assuming that it somehow it affects your quality, which it doesn’t. But it’s sort of personal having my time wasted and the girl having such little respect.
Author:  Arch Stanton [ Mon Nov 13, 2017 8:09 am ]
Post subject:  Re: How should one handle being flaked or stood up on a date
That attitude portends many a night jerking off.

Just because a girl blows you off doesn't mean she's emotionally broken. It means she has a lot of options, and for whatever reason, you were not the most attractive one.

When you get abundance mentality, you have your pick, and you can change your mind about someone (or usually they change it for you by over contacting before a date, which shows neediness and lack of success with the opposite sex).

An abundance of options means dismissing those options, at whim. What seems harsh and disrespectful to a desperate guy pinning his hopes on one girl, is nothing more than a leaf in the wind or a dropped napkin to a socially valuable woman overflowing with options.

This is why women lose their shit for guys who have abundance mentality. These valuable men with options have the same cocky social indifference these women have, and they fucking love it.

Which is why no reaction, is the best reaction. ;)
Author:  JackZero [ Mon Nov 13, 2017 8:15 am ]
Post subject:  Re: How should one handle being flaked or stood up on a date
Quote:
I hear people say things like “don’t take it personally” but why the heck not? It does feel pretty insulting: They apparently have little value for your time, from where I’m standing they have little respect, and think it’s better to agree to a date and just blow you off, instead of saying they can’t make it. So why shouldn’t you take it personally? But on the flip-side, girls that do that seem sort of emotionally broken.

You shouldn’t take it personally by assuming that it somehow it affects your quality, which it doesn’t. But it’s sort of personal having my time wasted and the girl having such little respect.
Nobody likes or wants to be flaked on but you are going to have them. When they happen you can roll with it or you can let it get you down. Can they have a little respect? Sure. Can you force them to have a little respect? No.
Author:  R.C [ Mon Nov 13, 2017 9:27 am ]
Post subject:  Re: How should one handle being flaked or stood up on a date
Quote:
I hear people say things like “don’t take it personally” but why the heck not? It does feel pretty insulting: They apparently have little value for your time, from where I’m standing they have little respect, and think it’s better to agree to a date and just blow you off, instead of saying they can’t make it. So why shouldn’t you take it personally? But on the flip-side, girls that do that seem sort of emotionally broken.

You shouldn’t take it personally by assuming that it somehow it affects your quality, which it doesn’t. But it’s sort of personal having my time wasted and the girl having such little respect.
Pretty much what Jack said. It's a shit thing to do, but some women will do that. Taking it personally tho? what for? Yea, she has no respect for your time. So that being the case, stop investing it in her.
Author:  neo87 [ Mon Nov 13, 2017 12:39 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: How should one handle being flaked or stood up on a date
Two very different things....Having options and choosing another alternative on a set date night.. fine...having options and ignoring messages to choose another alternative = immature and selfish. It IS rude, and it IS immature. Having options is not a reason to waste someone's time and even a simple message with a bs excuse takes 5 seconds. Chick knowing you planned a date and not letting you know its cancelled is playing games, and seeking validation from wasting your time. Should you take it personally? No. But her actions reveal her character and level of maturity more so than how many options she has.
Author:  Curtis72 [ Mon Nov 13, 2017 1:16 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: How should one handle being flaked or stood up on a date
Quote:
That attitude portends many a night jerking off.

Just because a girl blows you off doesn't mean she's emotionally broken. It means she has a lot of options, and for whatever reason, you were not the most attractive one.

When you get abundance mentality, you have your pick, and you can change your mind about someone (or usually they change it for you by over contacting before a date, which shows neediness and lack of success with the opposite sex).

An abundance of options means dismissing those options, at whim. What seems harsh and disrespectful to a desperate guy pinning his hopes on one girl, is nothing more than a leaf in the wind or a dropped napkin to a socially valuable woman overflowing with options.
If a girl misleads you, ignores you and wastes your time, why would she be a girl worth being with? It suggest she's rude and doesn't value your time. She MAY hit you up later down the line as a last resort option, but other than an easy fuck she isn't worth much more. Also every girl who is average or better has loads of options but not every girl will fob you off.

Would a guy with options chase a dead and unappealing lead?
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