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| Mixed signals from girl at gym https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=208277 |
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| Author: | Matias1977 [ Tue Oct 03, 2017 8:04 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Mixed signals from girl at gym |
Hey guys, I'd appreciate some advice. A girl at the gym started flashing smiles and saying "hi" when she walked by, so I chatted her up a bit and added her on Facebook. She liked 3 pics of mine in a row, we exchanged a few messages and I invited her out. Here's how it went down: Thursday: I messaged her with "Hey, let's do drinks tomorrow". She replies very late with "Sure, just got home, let's talk tomorrow". Friday: I messaged her with "Let's do bar x today". She replies very late and says "Cool, let's go there tomorrow". Saturday: I encounter her at the gym around noon, we chat a bit, the vibe is good. She said she knows the bar I proposed and that she likes it. Says the date is on. She finishes her workout before me, and leaves with a "Let's talk later to arrange details". I didn't arrange logistics right there because there was people around; I don't give a shit but thought that maybe she would (mistake?). Later that day, I ask her for her phone to get off the facebook crap and say we should meet at 10. She messages me her phone number, ignoring the part about the meet. Later I SPAM her to arrange logistics again but she replies with a voice message "Hey handsome, my sister asked me to go with her to [local TV show] but I'll text you once that's over, maybe it's not too late". Her sister is kind of famous in my country, and she was indeed invited to a local TV show, saw it in the paper the next day. That night I went on a date with another girl instead of waiting for her to hit me back, which she never did of course. Sunday: No contact. Monday: I see her at the gym and it's the same as usual. She says hi when she arrives, smiles at me. She starts working out right by my side so I asked how it'd go at the tv show. The vibe is fun, but I don't keep talking to her for long. I stay cool, polite, but focus on my workout instead. Later in the afternoon I text her a joke about something we talked about at the gym and add "Hey drinks tomorrow at bar x". She sees the text but no reply. Tuesday: I'm at the gym doing bench press when she arrives, walks near me and says "Oh, so much strength" with a smile. Obviously a joke, I don't lift much. When I'm done, I go to say hi and then keep focusing on my routine. She walks by a second time later on, flashes a smile. I wink but stay cool. The bottom line is she flaked twice and ignored my last invitation, yet in person isn't avoiding me; on the contrary, she's sending positive signals as usual. I already got 3 dates lined up with other girls, so that's taken care of. But what do you think about this one? Did I do something wrong? Anything I can learn from this? Should I next her? Keep trying like nothing happened? Thanks. |
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| Author: | Arch Stanton [ Tue Oct 03, 2017 8:28 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Mixed signals from girl at gym |
she has a boyfriend...doesn't want to get caught in public. Don't do anything, see other women. Let her stew in what "could've been" for a couple weeks. The same negative emotions that pushed her from her bf to you will pop up again. |
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| Author: | oceanx [ Wed Oct 04, 2017 6:40 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Mixed signals from girl at gym |
Move on. There are too many women to ever get fixated on a single one. If you do have 3 dates lined up and other dates you've just been on then your process is working and you shouldn't care in the least that this singular one keeps flaking. Only if she practically begs you to meet up at her place and/or texts you that she wants to come over would I move to meet at this point. Again assuming you're attracting an abundance of women as you state. A guy that texts in a meandering and long-winded fashion (not you OP) or chases multiple girls for more than a few days that are not down (not you OP) is by definition wasting his time. Again not directing this paragraph at you OP but making a broader point of the trap a lot of guys fall into. |
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| Author: | Matias1977 [ Wed Oct 04, 2017 7:18 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Mixed signals from girl at gym |
Thanks, guys, I appreciate your time. I'll cut contact outside the gym and limit my interaction to a polite "hi" when I bump into her. |
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| Author: | Danatron1987 [ Thu Oct 05, 2017 4:46 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Mixed signals from girl at gym |
Sounds to me like you played it well. She could just be busy with her social life and possibly a few other romantic options. You put yourself out there twice. Agree you should leave it at that and let her come to you if shes keen. There must be some attraction if she said yes to the late night bar invite, after you go cold she is probably going to reach out with bla bla type texts. Be good to hear how it goes. |
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| Author: | R.C [ Mon Oct 09, 2017 12:25 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Mixed signals from girl at gym |
You did exactly what Arch Staton religiously tells people to do. Which is smile, say little to nothing, invite her out and get flaked on. Girl was (or is) obviously into you. You wanna know why she flaked tho? You made little to no effort in inviting her out, so ofcourse she made little to no effort in taking you seriously. You spotted that yourself with your lack of logistics, which is good. Next time have it in mind. Aside from that, you made even less of an effort to flirt with this woman before making plans. And this is what I've been telling Arch too for the better part of the year. If you do not flirt with a woman, at all, she will not be going out with you. You gave her almost nothing. No glimpse of your personality, your humor, your identity, nothing. Only a 2 minute conversation in the gym. There's a reason why movie producers invest millions of dollars in compelling trailers. People will not invest 2 hours of their time in your product if you don't give them a reason to. Flirt with her a bit. Tease, joke, give her shit about x or y. Then make proper plans again. I promise you the outcome will be different. |
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| Author: | BigTim [ Mon Oct 09, 2017 4:01 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Mixed signals from girl at gym |
It's all good. Best thing here is to not get involved with your emotions. Try again in 2 weeks maybe. Or maybe even more. |
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| Author: | Arch Stanton [ Mon Oct 09, 2017 7:07 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Mixed signals from girl at gym |
Quote: You did exactly what Arch Staton religiously tells people to do.
Lol, that's not true at all. I tell people to be playfully honest, and flirt.
Which is smile, say little to nothing, invite her out and get flaked on. |
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| Author: | Matias1977 [ Mon Oct 09, 2017 7:26 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Mixed signals from girl at gym |
Thanks for chiming in, R.C. Interesting that there are different schools of thought about this, gonna give your advice a try as well. Today I texted her a quick, jokey comment about my weekend and she replied pretty fast with a 30 second voice message. So I guess she's still interested. Quick follow up questions. How long do I flirt/tease before going again for the date? Also, it's hard to game at the gym because I'm focused on my workout and she's focused on hers, so is there a problem if I stick to phone game? Thanks. |
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| Author: | R.C [ Tue Oct 10, 2017 7:44 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Mixed signals from girl at gym |
Quote:
Quick follow up questions. How long do I flirt/tease before going again for the date? Also, it's hard to game at the gym because I'm focused on my workout and she's focused on hers, so is there a problem if I stick to phone game?
The point of flirting/teasing is to form a little bond. A "connection". That can take 5 days or 1 hour, it depends entirely on the context. In almost all cases that's the difference between a flake and a date. Thanks. The gym is supposed to be a place you focus on your workout. You can exchange a smile or a few circumstantial lines but other than that phone game is perfectly ok. |
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| Author: | Matias1977 [ Tue Oct 10, 2017 8:36 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Mixed signals from girl at gym |
Perfect, thanks again. |
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| Author: | Danatron1987 [ Sat Oct 14, 2017 11:27 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Mixed signals from girl at gym |
How's this one going? |
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| Author: | Matias1977 [ Sat Oct 14, 2017 7:03 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Mixed signals from girl at gym |
Quote: How's this one going?
She didn't reply to another message (flirty text, not even date invite) so I said "fuck it" and moved on. Now dating other girls. Thanks for checking in, though.
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| Author: | Arch Stanton [ Sat Oct 14, 2017 8:39 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Mixed signals from girl at gym |
You didn't follow my advice, OP, and reached out after a girl toyed with you. This is part of learning to control your emotions (learning to text when it's appropriate,etc) and you couldn't. Quote: she has a boyfriend...doesn't want to get caught in public.
Don't do anything, see other women. Let her stew in what "could've been" for a couple weeks. The same negative emotions that pushed her from her bf to you will pop up again. |
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| Author: | Matias1977 [ Sun Oct 15, 2017 1:56 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Mixed signals from girl at gym |
Still got a lot to learn, that's why I'm here. Again thanks for trying to help, even though I fucked up in the end. |
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