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apologizing?
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Author:  bboy_spy [ Mon Apr 21, 2008 11:58 pm ]
Post subject:  apologizing?
So i went to prom with this girl and we both had a pretty good time. There were 3 downers on the night tho. 1) my dumbass friend lost my car keys and I insisted that i had to stay and find them. I told her that she should go back with the rest of the group to the after party and that id catch up later. She kinda got mad saying like NO way are u crazy etc. (dunno if this was offensive to her). 2) gettin back to the after party, our buddy gets decked in the face by some random guy. 3) cops show up and party ends earlier than expected. We spent the night and i took her home the next morning

Anyways didnt seem too bad cept for the fact that ive tried communicating with her and she wont respond. I have texted her about 4 times (never responded and she always used to), and left her facebook comments which she has also ignored. Never said thank you to me or ne thing (It was her prom). Did i strike out some where along the line in problem #1? Would she have gotten offended by me not wanting to leave without my keys? Did she take it like that was more important to me than her? help me out guys cuse im baffled.

Im gonna see her this Saturday at her dance concert that she invited me to awhile back. Should i apologize there? Should i assume that she is angry with me cuse of that and say that i know i could have shown her a better time etc... im sorry can we start over? Or is that a No no?
Author:  AaronW [ Tue Apr 22, 2008 12:07 am ]
Post subject: 
Personally i would not apologize period. What you described where things out of your control, why would you want to apologize for life events unfolding? you did the right thing sticking around to help your friend. Friends come first. Right now your being too nice sending the comments and the messages. You are acting like a AFC by giving her that much attention. I dont know the whole situation but you may have lost this one, me being me i would not even attend the event she invited you to prior to the prom. You have to make it look like you have options and your not just all over her. If you really want to go, take a girl with you. Go out meet new people and act like she lost something valuable, because she did. There are millions of girls in the world, you being on this site will gain the knowledge to talk to any number of them. Make her come to you is the best bet.

~ Mystic
Author:  bboy_spy [ Tue Apr 22, 2008 6:48 am ]
Post subject: 
damn thanks lots mystic! Really pointed out something obvious, but something i overlooked. I was kinda acting like an AFC, which is no way near my style man... Im gonna go to the dance concert, but ima go with my close girl-friend, stacey. (this friend and the girl who asked me to prom (ali) all went to the same middle school as me so we all know each other) After making an appearance with her, I think i may hit on one of Ali's hot ass friends (hb9) whom i built up some rapport with the last time i saw her. If this fails, then i can always fall back to my friend stacey. Good plan? Or do i need to smooth out any ruff edges? Make sure i DONT do a certain something perhaps? any input is great. Thanks guys.
Author:  gravesRR7 [ Tue Apr 22, 2008 2:55 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
damn thanks lots mystic! Really pointed out something obvious, but something i overlooked. I was kinda acting like an AFC, which is no way near my style man... Im gonna go to the dance concert, but ima go with my close girl-friend, stacey. (this friend and the girl who asked me to prom (ali) all went to the same middle school as me so we all know each other) After making an appearance with her, I think i may hit on one of Ali's hot ass friends (hb9) whom i built up some rapport with the last time i saw her. If this fails, then i can always fall back to my friend stacey. Good plan? Or do i need to smooth out any ruff edges? Make sure i DONT do a certain something perhaps? any input is great. Thanks guys.
bad plan to hit on her friend.

'hitting on' implies that 'you want them' what you really want is for 'them to want you'

play the whole social circle with you and try to get everyone to like you. this will make them all jelous, then the girl you finally pick will feel like she 'won' and will give her value and will also give you value for not being predatory
Author:  AaronW [ Tue Apr 22, 2008 6:12 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:

bad plan to hit on her friend.

'hitting on' implies that 'you want them' what you really want is for 'them to want you'

play the whole social circle with you and try to get everyone to like you. this will make them all jelous, then the girl you finally pick will feel like she 'won' and will give her value and will also give you value for not being predatory
I agree with graves, dont go hitting on her friend, be social with her win her over as a great guy. Once her friend starts talking about how much fun you are and how awesome of a guy you are it just build credit to you. Add the fact your bringing a female friend as even more social proof the girl will start to realize she is missing out on a great person. You got this bro, just play it cool...do your thing and not worry too much about the outcome. if you lose this one which i doubt you will, there are plenty others out there...just learn from the errors.

~ Mystic
Author:  bboy_spy [ Tue Apr 22, 2008 10:13 pm ]
Post subject: 
sounds great thanks graves and mystic! Everyone i know says i got a natural talent for talking and mingling with people, so thats a head start right there. I like the idea of playing the social circle since the girl im tryin to win over has already told me (previously) that her friends adore me (both for personality and the fact that i can breakdance lol), think im hot/cute so that's gotta be good.

Only prob is that she will be with her other friends and has plenty of "fall back". Meaning she can just go chill with her friends instead of me...unless of course i play my cards right :D I'm just gonna see what's cuse cuse i just found it strange that she would not respond to me at all...oh by the way she happens to live across the street from me lol...

After the dance concert (that she is in) would complimenting her be a good thing or minor negging? They (meaning her and her friends) know and have seen that Im and accomplished dancer and will likely be seeking approval. At least I think. Lemme know what you guys think! thanks again for helpin me out, other people's opinions are very valuable in my book. Especially nice guys like mystic n graves =)
Author:  Oh!TheEnvy [ Wed Apr 23, 2008 3:14 am ]
Post subject: 
Theres a book called the ASSHOLES guide to handling chicks...Its meant to be comical but it gives good advice.

NEVER apologize to girls
A.its a DLV GALOUR!
as soon as you apologize to them they got you they own you then you have to make it up to them.

Instead twist it to your favor act like it never happened sarge girls at the party bring back up your DHV then approach her make her a little jealous then talk to her she will be more focused on that then as if you messed up.
the whole time your sarging shell wonder why your not apologizing then BAM! you got her
Author:  joker_jack84 [ Wed Apr 23, 2008 3:27 am ]
Post subject: 
I think your buddy is bad luck, lol.
Author:  bboy_spy [ Thu Apr 24, 2008 5:02 am ]
Post subject: 
Im gonna ask ali's friend, lindsey(we are friends too) if ali has spoken to her and told her any news or ne thing about why she has not been speakin to me. Is it a no-no to ask a girl's friend about whether or not she is mad at me? I mean... i know she will respond with some usefull info...but ali will also find out that i asked her friend if she was mad at me. In a way that might be good... cuse then maybe ali will apologize to me for nothing (IF she wasnt mad at me in the first place...if she was then she wouldnt give a shit) what u guys think?
Author:  AaronW [ Thu Apr 24, 2008 9:40 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Im gonna ask ali's friend, lindsey(we are friends too) if ali has spoken to her and told her any news or ne thing about why she has not been speakin to me. Is it a no-no to ask a girl's friend about whether or not she is mad at me? I mean... i know she will respond with some usefull info...but ali will also find out that i asked her friend if she was mad at me. In a way that might be good... cuse then maybe ali will apologize to me for nothing (IF she wasnt mad at me in the first place...if she was then she wouldnt give a shit) what u guys think?
or it will look like your needy and attached to the girl. Speaking with a friend is great, but dont ask directly.

I personally never go this road but you could bring up a story that involves you guys. When your on the topic of how much fun everyone had and the girl pops up you can ask how she is, mention you havnt spoken to her in a while. Her friend may ask why just say "couldnt tell ya" it will bring her friend to become curious and she on her own will ask the girl.

but i dont suggest it.

~ Mystic
Author:  eddyboy [ Thu Apr 24, 2008 10:07 pm ]
Post subject: 
im not sure if its a bit OCD, but if a girl doesnt reply to a text/comment. I will not make any further effort to contact her. is this wrong?
Author:  Nicole [ Thu Apr 24, 2008 11:08 pm ]
Post subject: 
I don't think you should have left her alone to help your mates, she went out with you didn't she, I think you have blown it.

Apologise and you may remain friends.
Author:  bboy_spy [ Thu Apr 24, 2008 11:39 pm ]
Post subject: 
Let's get one thing straight... My friend borrowed my car keys (cuse they had an LED flash light attatched to them) to look for something HE HAD ALREADY LOST. Turns out he lost my keys in the PROCESS OF LOOKING for something else. I didnt ditch her to go HELP my "Mates". I was looking for my way home the next day. Not to mention i got the keys on xmas and they had a sentimental value. So i didnt ditch shit... if anything its my friend they should all be pissed at for losing my keys in the first place.

I like the idea mystic... ima try that see what happens since ima see her this Saturday at the concert. I just wanna know what kinda water im goin into ya know? Is it gonna be going into a hostile environment or a "pretend it never happend" or just amicable? Ill see what lindsey says

And while im thinking of it...

Thanks for the pessimistic suggestion nicole. But i think ill just disregard everything you just said. Golden rule of talking to girls...NEVER take a girl's advice on how to get another girl. Learned through years of trial and error.
Author:  Nicole [ Thu Apr 24, 2008 11:51 pm ]
Post subject: 
Oh sorry bboy, I should have read your post more carefully, didn't mean to offend.

Good luck with the girl

Nicole
Quote:
Let's get one thing straight... My friend borrowed my car keys (cuse they had an LED flash light attatched to them) to look for something HE HAD ALREADY LOST. Turns out he lost my keys in the PROCESS OF LOOKING for something else. I didnt ditch her to go HELP my "Mates". I was looking for my way home the next day. Not to mention i got the keys on xmas and they had a sentimental value. So i didnt ditch shit... if anything its my friend they should all be pissed at for losing my keys in the first place.

I like the idea mystic... ima try that see what happens since ima see her this Saturday at the concert. I just wanna know what kinda water im goin into ya know? Is it gonna be going into a hostile environment or a "pretend it never happend" or just amicable? Ill see what lindsey says

And while im thinking of it...

Thanks for the pessimistic suggestion nicole. But i think ill just disregard everything you just said. Golden rule of talking to girls...NEVER take a girl's advice on how to get another girl. Learned through years of trial and error.
Author:  bucks [ Fri Apr 25, 2008 12:24 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
NEVER take a girl's advice on how to get another girl.
Gotta agree with you there !!
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