PUA Forum :: Any point bothering with a flake?

Seems like both of you are wishy washy af. Have you flirted at all? Built some comfort and mystery? Why not plan something solid. "When are you free?" "We are going to *blank* at *blank* o'clock, on Saturday!"

The preemptive cancel is a bitch move people use to satisfy their own egos. Next time just bail but don't tell her. When you tell her, you give her an out to act like she did nothing and you are overreacting (esp since that is an overreaction)

if she messaged you to say "if you don't want to meetup just say" that is a good sign she wants to meet up

you need to make a specific appointment, have the time day and place prepared in your head and propose it, you can give her two options of days to choose between. Be the man and have a plan don't leave it to her.

I think i made myself a text buddy by texting way too much before meeting.

Quote:

I disagree. She's being much less flirty, hardly texting now and not being fun and playful like she was. To be fair i'm barely texting her, I just cant be bothered making effort because I think she will flake again. Before she was talking about all her lingerie she hasnt had a chance to use etc, now shes just being pretty boring.
I think i made myself a text buddy by texting way too much before meeting. Ill just freeze her out and move on.

Got chatting to some girl from OKC.
We have text/voice noted a lot before arranging to meet. We loosely arrange a date but she cancels because she's tired. I say OK no problem, so she rearranges for another time.

It gets to the day we are supposed to meet, and I ask where in town she lives close to so I can arrange where to meet. I get no reply so later that day I preemptive cancel on her with, 'Listen i'm not going to make tonight, another time'.

Dude she wasn't being demanding. You were just a dick that saw something very trivial as a power struggle. Maybe if you had a car you wouldn't have to base your dates around a bus schedule, and maybe you shouldn't throw a tantrum when you don't 100% get your way.

Author:	HotNight223 [ Tue Jun 13, 2017 8:15 pm ]
Post subject:	Any point bothering with a flake?
Got chatting to some girl from OKC. We have text/voice noted a lot before arranging to meet. We loosely arrange a date but she cancels because she's tired. I say OK no problem, so she rearranges for another time. It gets to the day we are supposed to meet, and I ask where in town she lives close to so I can arrange where to meet. I get no reply so later that day I preemptive cancel on her with, 'Listen i'm not going to make tonight, another time'. 3 days go by where i've not text her once, and she texts with: 'If you dont want to see me just say so I know whats going on' I leave it a day and reply with, 'Huh? I've had a busy few days'. And she replies with, 'Oh alright then'. Should I just delete her number and forget it? I made the mistake of talking a lot with her on the phone, but we seemed to get on well. She has just come out of a 5 year relationship and is new to casual dating.

Author:	Heywood Jablowme [ Tue Jun 13, 2017 8:51 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Any point bothering with a flake?
Seems like both of you are wishy washy af. Have you flirted at all? Built some comfort and mystery? Why not plan something solid. "When are you free?" "We are going to blank at blank o'clock, on Saturday!"

Author:	HotNight223 [ Tue Jun 13, 2017 9:00 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Any point bothering with a flake?
Quote: Seems like both of you are wishy washy af. Have you flirted at all? Built some comfort and mystery? Why not plan something solid. "When are you free?" "We are going to blank at blank o'clock, on Saturday!" Tons of flirting and sex chat yes. I guess I could as a last ditch. I just can't be bothered with flaky girls

Author:	DJ_Z [ Tue Jun 13, 2017 9:31 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Any point bothering with a flake?
The preemptive cancel is a bitch move people use to satisfy their own egos. Next time just bail but don't tell her. When you tell her, you give her an out to act like she did nothing and you are overreacting (esp since that is an overreaction)

Author:	HotNight223 [ Tue Jun 13, 2017 10:51 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Any point bothering with a flake?
Quote: The preemptive cancel is a bitch move people use to satisfy their own egos. Next time just bail but don't tell her. When you tell her, you give her an out to act like she did nothing and you are overreacting (esp since that is an overreaction) What is an overreaction?

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Author:	CopernicanShift [ Wed Jun 14, 2017 5:04 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Any point bothering with a flake?
if she messaged you to say "if you don't want to meetup just say" that is a good sign she wants to meet up you need to make a specific appointment, have the time day and place prepared in your head and propose it, you can give her two options of days to choose between. Be the man and have a plan don't leave it to her.

Author:	HotNight223 [ Wed Jun 14, 2017 9:02 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Any point bothering with a flake?
Quote: if she messaged you to say "if you don't want to meetup just say" that is a good sign she wants to meet up you need to make a specific appointment, have the time day and place prepared in your head and propose it, you can give her two options of days to choose between. Be the man and have a plan don't leave it to her. I disagree. She's being much less flirty, hardly texting now and not being fun and playful like she was. To be fair i'm barely texting her, I just cant be bothered making effort because I think she will flake again. Before she was talking about all her lingerie she hasnt had a chance to use etc, now shes just being pretty boring. I think i made myself a text buddy by texting way too much before meeting. Ill just freeze her out and move on.

Author:	Arch Stanton [ Wed Jun 14, 2017 9:05 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Any point bothering with a flake?
Quote: I think i made myself a text buddy by texting way too much before meeting. This seems to be the case for most guys here. It's easy to talk women out of seeing you again by over-texting. Get off your phone, and focus on the gym, your career,and your passions. The phone is for setting up meets. Act like you have important shit to do, even if you don't.

Author:	CopernicanShift [ Wed Jun 14, 2017 10:13 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Any point bothering with a flake?
Quote: Quote: if she messaged you to say "if you don't want to meetup just say" that is a good sign she wants to meet up you need to make a specific appointment, have the time day and place prepared in your head and propose it, you can give her two options of days to choose between. Be the man and have a plan don't leave it to her. I disagree. She's being much less flirty, hardly texting now and not being fun and playful like she was. To be fair i'm barely texting her, I just cant be bothered making effort because I think she will flake again. Before she was talking about all her lingerie she hasnt had a chance to use etc, now shes just being pretty boring. I think i made myself a text buddy by texting way too much before meeting. Ill just freeze her out and move on. Ah ok well maybe she was interested and you skrewed it up after but sounds like you've lost interest yourself now so that's alright it's good that you're backing off let her do the running, if she wants to make it happen she can do the work, otherwise NEXT

Author:	neo87 [ Wed Jun 14, 2017 11:43 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Any point bothering with a flake?
Quote: Got chatting to some girl from OKC. We have text/voice noted a lot before arranging to meet. We loosely arrange a date but she cancels because she's tired. I say OK no problem, so she rearranges for another time. Dont "loosely" arrange a date. You make it harder to judge genuine flaking vs bad set up. Quote: It gets to the day we are supposed to meet, and I ask where in town she lives close to so I can arrange where to meet. I get no reply so later that day I preemptive cancel on her with, 'Listen i'm not going to make tonight, another time'. Again, make solid plans. If you're texting/voice noting alot, the area she lives should come up. What are you talking about if you dont at least know what area she lives? The plans shouldve been settled before the day of the meet. Girls are afraid of flaking too, so wishy washy plans is going to make them more hesitant to take it seriously. Make solid plans first, and THEN see if you're getting flaked on.

Author:	Eddie Fews [ Thu Jun 15, 2017 8:44 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Any point bothering with a flake?
Sounds like a bunch of game playing. Doesn't sound like you're all that into her; just sounds like she's okay looking and thus "something to do", and she likely feels the same way about you. I personally have a one flake rule. No excuses, no second chances. Unless she apologizes on her own and promises to make it up to me by bringing or making me dinner the next day at my place(by her own suggestion) she's permanently out forever. But that comes with self value. If you had an interview with Google and flaked, would you get a second interview? Now what if you had one with McDonalds? When you have this attitude the value you subcommunicate is so much higher; and women are much less likely to flake on someone they perceive to be high value. You become the "prize" and/or the opportunity. Where did you meet the girl by the way? Im starting to notice how the majority of the post on here are about women guys meet online.

Author:	HotNight223 [ Sat Jun 24, 2017 4:56 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Any point bothering with a flake?
To update, I set a last ditch date, time and venue. We met and spent the night smashing and had Dominoes pizza. Since then she has been texting me a lot. A little clingy, then today we were due to meet again but I just dropped it, went like this: 'What time are you available? (me saying this, shes been sleeping until like 3pm, sleeping pattern is messed up) 'Well i've only just woke up so about 8' 'Errr, I can do half 7' (me) 'No, 8' 'I'm restricted with which busses I can get, i'm not waiting around for half an hour until 8'(me) 'Oh ok then' 'If its such a big issue I just wont bother coming' (me) 'Why do you keep doing my head in?' 'Just leave it' (me) 'Ok' Now i've had the lay I dont really care what happens. It was her suggestion to meet today, and then suddenly goes all rude trying to demand the time we hang out. No thanks, gaming others instead. Anyway i've learned to be more exact and forceful when arranging dates thanks to this forum, really laying down the venue, time and what I want her to wear.

Author:	DJ_Z [ Sun Jun 25, 2017 1:51 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Any point bothering with a flake?
Dude she wasn't being demanding. You were just a dick that saw something very trivial as a power struggle. Maybe if you had a car you wouldn't have to base your dates around a bus schedule, and maybe you shouldn't throw a tantrum when you don't 100% get your way.

Author:	HotNight223 [ Sun Jun 25, 2017 2:21 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Any point bothering with a flake?
Quote: Dude she wasn't being demanding. You were just a dick that saw something very trivial as a power struggle. Maybe if you had a car you wouldn't have to base your dates around a bus schedule, and maybe you shouldn't throw a tantrum when you don't 100% get your way. Um when I made the first date it went like this: 'Can we make it 8pm?' 'No, 7.30, wear heels and a skirt' 'you always have to have the last word dont you?' 'Yes, problem?' 'No, I like it that way'. Now given some context you might understand it better. FYI, she has since messaged me, 'you're missing out' with a pic of some mexican takeout and some beers, which I ignored. You might be cool with being spoken to in rude, 1 word demanding responses, i'm not, and by ignoring her she will feel silly and come grovelling as she is starting to do already. Have 2 dates for the same time tomorrow for cocktails, if one flakes its all good, she will be even more keen since girls never get flaked on

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Author:	Arch Stanton [ Sun Jun 25, 2017 4:39 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Any point bothering with a flake?
Quote: Dude she wasn't being demanding. You were just a dick that saw something very trivial as a power struggle. Maybe if you had a car you wouldn't have to base your dates around a bus schedule, and maybe you shouldn't throw a tantrum when you don't 100% get your way. I agree. The OP did really well by becoming firmer with date set-up, but got too cocky/took it too far post-date. Once you have sex with a woman, show mercy to her, be a good guy..even if you don't want to see her again.