I was on a second date with a chick, and the first date went very well.

We went to 3 bars on the second date, and she got upset about something but wouldn't tell me what it was. I asked her but did not harp on it. I don't beg. She wouldn't directly say it was something I did, but she implied it was. I asked for the check, took her home, and called it a night. Still I can't remember what went wrong.

I'm wishing I had said something like, "I asked you what was wrong and you wouldn't tell me. If you want to act childish there are plenty of guys in this city who will put up with that, but I am not one of them." Maybe I shouldn't have walked her home.

Second, if I want to text this chick, what should my move be going forward? Should I text her the quoted statement above?

Did you two have sex?
Maybe she's upset that you haven't manned up yet and taken her home. Three bars on date two? Are you trying to seduce her, or be her pleaser good time court jester?

On the first date, if I'm attracted to a girl I ask her home within 45 minutes.

LOL. This is the response of a negative Nancy with no options.

Why in the fuck would you ever engage in negative emotions with a woman on date two? I will walk away from girls who do this to me so early, because it portends an awful relationship.

I have no idea why men engage in negative emotional talk so soon with women. It's just neediness and over-investment.

Here's what you do if she's sulking: "Hey, that bartender, the brunette with the pony tail. Hot or not?"

Change the frame, be playyful. Then: "Let's head back to my place".

"I'm hitting up Netflix tonight with a few drinks. Swing by when you get free."

And shut the fuck up about something she probably doesn't care about.

After date 1, I walked her home and we made out outside her apartment. She was getting into it, and I said "Let's go inside." She says we shouldn't.

So we didn't have sex. I like where your heads at about hanging out for 45 minutes and then taking her back to my apartment, but I don't think she would have gone for that. How would I go about pulling that off? It seems like it would be kind of abrupt/awkward to end a date early to go back to my apartment.

I didn't really engage her negative emotions. I asked her once, maybe twice what was wrong, and then I dropped it and took her home.

Oh, and she unfollowed me on insta, so I feel like that's her way of saying she doesn't want to see me again. Whatever I did, clearly it is something she cares about. I don't think inviting her to netflix and drink is a viable option, but hey, I have nothing to lose, so maybe I'll throw that out there and see how it goes.

Next time just take her hand and lead her to the apartment entrance. If she pulls back, be a gentleman and pull back, too.

End the date early?

45 minutes is a long time to be yapping. Remember to always be congruent with your desires. If you want to have sex with the woman, then act in a way congruent with that. Leading the date to the bedroom is not abrupt, it's a natural conclusion for two people attracted to each other.

Don't even ask "what's wrong". That's a conversation for a couple in a committed relationship. Change the frame, lead.

This may have been why she got weird.
Do it. Text her the invite.

And in the process, you'll train yourself to not fear outcome. And at the very least, she may see you as the dominant male you were not during the dates.

Interesting. So you're 45 mins into a date, it's going well, she's laughing at your sexual innuendos and jokes, etc. And then you just say "let's head back to my place." ?

I feel like a likely response I would get would be "you wanna leave already? It's pretty early. Let's stay here a bit longer." What would you say to that?

Also also, I think you are on to something about it getting weird when I asked her what happened. If I did ask her twice, and the more I think about it, the more that seems likely, then perhaps that's why she got weird.

Second, if I want to text this chick, what should my move be going forward? Should I text her the quoted statement above? Seems like the best move is to ignore her and move on, but like I said, we had a really good first date. So I would maybe consider giving her a second chance.

On the first date, if I'm attracted to a girl I ask her home within 45 minutes.

Change the frame, be playyful. Then: "Let's head back to my place".

Next time just take her hand and lead her to the apartment entrance. If she pulls back, be a gentleman and pull back, too.

Don't even ask "what's wrong". That's a conversation for a couple in a committed relationship. Change the frame, lead.

And in the process, you'll train yourself to not fear outcome. And at the very least, she may see you as the dominant male you were not during the dates.

I'm wishing I had said something like, "I asked you what was wrong and you wouldn't tell me. If you want to act childish there are plenty of guys in this city who will put up with that, but I am not one of them." Maybe I shouldn't have walked her home.

Edit: Also, when I hear "three bars" and a girl pulling away, I get the vibe you got too drunk, too. That's a huge turn off for women. They tell me this all the time: "The last guy I dated showed up drunk, so I friend-zoned him", etc.

But you are putting up with that. You just created a forum thread asking how to salvage. And yeah, probably shouldn't have walked her home.

In my opinion you should let it go. I wouldn't waste my time with passive aggressive shit and unwillingness to communicate.

Arch, when you suggest asking her to netflix and wine, do you think it'll work? I feel like this is a low probability play. Like 5% chance she says yes. I'm not saying I won't try it, because I feel like I don't have anything to lose with her anyway, what with her being kind of crazy and me not really caring.

Arch, when you suggest asking her to netflix and wine, do you think it'll work? I feel like this is a low probability play. Like 5% chance she says yes. I'm not saying I won't try it, because I feel like I don't have anything to lose with her anyway, what with her being kind of crazy and me not really caring.

This could also totally be it. I actually was drunker than I thought I was. I had 4 or 5 drinks, but two of the beers were double alcohol and 2 of the drinks were strong mixed drinks from mixology places. fuck lol

Yeah, keep an eye on that. I stay sober on dates/meet ups. Helps keep wit intact.