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not jumped when you had to, now what?
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Author:  bossom [ Wed Jan 25, 2017 11:47 am ]
Post subject:  not jumped when you had to, now what?
This is for all the men to whom this still happens.

It used to happen to me due to a problem I had, but fortunately it is not happening anymore.
But I want that we all together discuss and arrive to a conclusion about what's the best thing to do with the girl you didn't jump with.
Just for helping other men, and for my own curiosity of knowing what I should have done when it used to happen to me.
(Well I confess that there's still a girl I made this boner with a long ago, and I would like to fix it some day, but that's not my priority nor the question/intention of this thread)

I was writting a really long post explaining my experiece and saying a lot of stuff that could have helped, but my phone crashed and it got deleted so this one is going to be short.
I will write my experiences other day though.

I know what you are thinking and about to answer "Move on" "Hit on other girls" "Jump the next time"...

Yes yes, we know, these are the first steps to take that I encourage to all men to do at first.
In fact, if you are too needed or dependent on the girl, you MUST TO move on.
But if you aren't and you just want to have her back, just for having her back, or because you connected more with her, or whatever, there's nothing wrong with trying.
Taking into account that that girl is not your priority, you are not needed, you have other girls and you have promissed to yourself that the next time you will jump;
what do you guys think that's the best attitude and phone-game WITH HER to try to fix the boner?

I mean, what's the best thing to do with that girl to fix it?
What is the objection (loss of value, shields..?)

If it has ever happened to you and you fixed it, leave your advice!

I'd also like to stress how the phone-game should be.



Thank you all!
Author:  bossom [ Wed Jan 25, 2017 11:57 am ]
Post subject:  Re: not jumped when you had to, now what?
I forget to say that, I make this post cause there's a little information about this on internet, and this is a really frustrating and serious issue (I know it from my experience).
Not even in seduction books it is discussed.
So, if you found some video or post about this that is useful, please share it !!

So this is the purpose of this thread, that we all together discuss and arrive to a conclusion about what's the best thing to do in this cases to get her back, to solve the objection/fix the boner, even if chances are really low.

And I stress it again, when I ask "what to do", I mean what to do with her, once the first and basic steps have been already taken (Not being needed, Promissing to yourself that next time you'll jump, having other girls...).

Let's put our knowledge together to bring some light to this issue.
Author:  R.C [ Wed Jan 25, 2017 1:13 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: not jumped when you had to, now what?
Quote:
But if you aren't and you just want to have her back, just for having her back, or because you connected more with her, or whatever, there's nothing wrong with trying.
There is something wrong with trying. It's called kicking a dead horse. Look, personal relations are somewhat like business. If a business goes bad you either cut your losses and move on with a lesson well learned, or you cling to that business as if it's all you have left in the world and allow it to drain you more and more, to the point of bankruptcy. And even if it doesn't, you're still investing time in a bad bet instead of branching out.

This topic is not discussed because if you have other, better options then going backwards doesn't even cross your mind.
Author:  PUALearning2PUA [ Wed Jan 25, 2017 9:05 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: not jumped when you had to, now what?
Quote:
Quote:
But if you aren't and you just want to have her back, just for having her back, or because you connected more with her, or whatever, there's nothing wrong with trying.
There is something wrong with trying. It's called kicking a dead horse. Look, personal relations are somewhat like business. If a business goes bad you either cut your losses and move on with a lesson well learned, or you cling to that business as if it's all you have left in the world and allow it to drain you more and more, to the point of bankruptcy. And even if it doesn't, you're still investing time in a bad bet instead of branching out.

This topic is not discussed because if you have other, better options then going backwards doesn't even cross your mind.
Solid advice assuming;

-She's a cunt
-You acted bizarre and completely out of line
-You never had anything in common in the first place

But I think the original poster is just asking why should someone be dead to you forever, or at least a completely non sexual entity in your mind, just because YOU missed a step along the way, assuming nothing wrong with them, nothing wrong with you, and you've got your head together since.
Author:  JackZero [ Wed Jan 25, 2017 9:34 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: not jumped when you had to, now what?
Quote:
But I think the original poster is just asking why should someone be dead to you forever, or at least a completely non sexual entity in your mind, just because YOU missed a step along the way, assuming nothing wrong with them, nothing wrong with you, and you've got your head together since.
It's not that someone should be dead to you forever, it's the fact that you shouldn't try to restart from broken attraction. If you want that girl that you messed up with then you have to create the attraction from square one. The problem is that the guy that's trying to recreate what once was is not at square one and will keep working from that original point of attraction that is already gone. Most guys simply don't have the ability to let go and treat the girl like he would treat a brand new one.
Author:  bossom [ Thu Jan 26, 2017 3:25 am ]
Post subject:  Re: not jumped when you had to, now what?
Quote:
Quote:
But I think the original poster is just asking why should someone be dead to you forever, or at least a completely non sexual entity in your mind, just because YOU missed a step along the way, assuming nothing wrong with them, nothing wrong with you, and you've got your head together since.
It's not that someone should be dead to you forever, it's the fact that you shouldn't try to restart from broken attraction. If you want that girl that you messed up with then you have to create the attraction from square one. The problem is that the guy that's trying to recreate what once was is not at square one and will keep working from that original point of attraction that is already gone. Most guys simply don't have the ability to let go and treat the girl like he would treat a brand new one.
Well, that was exactly the question of the post, how to recreate the already messed/gone attraction.

Although, I am not that sure that what is lost when you don't "advance" or "jump" is the attraction/value.
That may not be the main "objection".
The objection could be basically her shields that get enhaced or that she felt rejected.
Indeed, in some cases in my past experience with this, the girls still offered me to meet up or they kept starting (sometimes) (well, some counted times) the conversations.
(Well, I have to say that in that cases, little time had gone by since the last date in which I had made the boner, and, it was mainly me who started the conversations. They started them too, but much less than before making the boner. However, I got that a girl in that situation asked me out, though I couldn't get out for personal reasons. More time went by with that girl until today... when she seems to avoid meeting up with me (she's always bussy) though from time to (a long) time she still starts the conversations)
Indeed, she kept giving me some interest indicators the days after making the boner.

And I stress it again, in the post we are considering that the inversion is not fully lost. Or even if it is, what the best things to recover it are. And considering that The reason for keep trying is not any emotional dependence or lack of girls, but simply for trying.
I liked your example of the inversions, but here no money is lost. In fact, you're going to lose nothing for trying a bit more.
Well, not for trying, but for correctly trying. That's the aim of the post, get to what's the best/correct way to keep trying/ to do in this situations.
The sense of trying in what seems a lost interaction is recovering it.

Thank you all for commenting!
Author:  bossom [ Thu Jan 26, 2017 3:40 am ]
Post subject:  Re: not jumped when you had to, now what?
Quote:
Quote:
But if you aren't and you just want to have her back, just for having her back, or because you connected more with her, or whatever, there's nothing wrong with trying.
There is something wrong with trying. It's called kicking a dead horse. Look, personal relations are somewhat like business. If a business goes bad you either cut your losses and move on with a lesson well learned, or you cling to that business as if it's all you have left in the world and allow it to drain you more and more, to the point of bankruptcy. And even if it doesn't, you're still investing time in a bad bet instead of branching out.

This topic is not discussed because if you have other, better options then going backwards doesn't even cross your mind.

I liked your example but you are considering that trying equals emotional dependence on her, thus bankrupt and loss (emotional bankrupt).
but Keeping trying in what seems a difficult or even lost interaction doesn't imply that you're emotional attached to the final results of that interaction. Or that you are "clinging" to her.


So that's the question, considering that you are not needy, but that you would still PREFER(not need)to get her back, what should be done?
Author:  JackZero [ Thu Jan 26, 2017 5:45 am ]
Post subject:  Re: not jumped when you had to, now what?
Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
But I think the original poster is just asking why should someone be dead to you forever, or at least a completely non sexual entity in your mind, just because YOU missed a step along the way, assuming nothing wrong with them, nothing wrong with you, and you've got your head together since.
It's not that someone should be dead to you forever, it's the fact that you shouldn't try to restart from broken attraction. If you want that girl that you messed up with then you have to create the attraction from square one. The problem is that the guy that's trying to recreate what once was is not at square one and will keep working from that original point of attraction that is already gone. Most guys simply don't have the ability to let go and treat the girl like he would treat a brand new one.
Well, that was exactly the question of the post, how to recreate the already messed/gone attraction.

Although, I am not that sure that what is lost when you don't "advance" or "jump" is the attraction/value.
That may not be the main "objection".
The objection could be basically her shields that get enhaced or that she felt rejected.
Indeed, in some cases in my past experience with this, the girls still offered me to meet up or they kept starting (sometimes) (well, some counted times) the conversations.
(Well, I have to say that in that cases, little time had gone by since the last date in which I had made the boner, and, it was mainly me who started the conversations. They started them too, but much less than before making the boner. However, I got that a girl in that situation asked me out, though I couldn't get out for personal reasons. More time went by with that girl until today... when she seems to avoid meeting up with me (she's always bussy) though from time to (a long) time she still starts the conversations)
Indeed, she kept giving me some interest indicators the days after making the boner.

And I stress it again, in the post we are considering that the inversion is not fully lost. Or even if it is, what the best things to recover it are. And considering that The reason for keep trying is not any emotional dependence or lack of girls, but simply for trying.
I liked your example of the inversions, but here no money is lost. In fact, you're going to lose nothing for trying a bit more.
Well, not for trying, but for correctly trying. That's the aim of the post, get to what's the best/correct way to keep trying/ to do in this situations.
The sense of trying in what seems a lost interaction is recovering it.

Thank you all for commenting!
You're talking about two different things. There's attraction that has gone away and then there's being not as attractive. Maybe I'm not understanding what you mean completely by "jump".
Author:  Arch Stanton [ Thu Jan 26, 2017 6:27 am ]
Post subject:  Re: not jumped when you had to, now what?
Quote:
what do you guys think that's the best attitude and phone-game WITH HER to try to fix the boner?

I mean, what's the best thing to do with that girl to fix it?

The phone is for setting meet ups only, unless you are in a relationship or out of town. And even then, it's to be used to keep things light.

So my advice based on your criteria?

If you have never fucked the girl, or she never blew you, it's over. Give up and move on. In order for ex flings or ex girlfriend's to come back, you need to have provided VALUE during your time. Giving orgasms consistently is VALUE, being dominant in bed, when other men weren't is VALUE. If you have not been physical with the woman, there was never a relationship. you were either a "try out" or a friend.

And in this context, you must walk away forever, or you look like a stalker.

If you have fucked the girl, and had an actual physical relationship (many posters here think they go on a date or two with no sex and suddenly it's Marriage Time), then you still have a shot.

If she dumped you for being cold, spill your feelings to her in person and you'll get her back

If she dumped you for being a bad kisser or boring in bed, it's over.

If she dumped you for being clingy and needy, it's over.
Author:  bossom [ Thu Jan 26, 2017 3:29 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: not jumped when you had to, now what?
Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
But I think the original poster is just asking why should someone be dead to you forever, or at least a completely non sexual entity in your mind, just because YOU missed a step along the way, assuming nothing wrong with them, nothing wrong with you, and you've got your head together since.
Well, that was exactly the question of the post, how to recreate the already messed/gone attraction.

Although, I am not that sure that what is lost when you don't "advance" or "jump" is the attraction/value.
That may not be the main "objection".
The objection could be basically her shields that get enhaced or that she felt rejected.
Indeed, in some cases in my past experience with this, the girls still offered me to meet up or they kept starting (sometimes) (well, some counted times) the conversations.
(Well, I have to say that in that cases, little time had gone by since the last date in which I had made the boner, and, it was mainly me who started the conversations. They started them too, but much less than before making the boner. However, I got that a girl in that situation asked me out, though I couldn't get out for personal reasons. More time went by with that girl until today... when she seems to avoid meeting up with me (she's always bussy) though from time to (a long) time she still starts the conversations)
Indeed, she kept giving me some interest indicators the days after making the boner.

And I stress it again, in the post we are considering that the inversion is not fully lost. Or even if it is, what the best things to recover it are. And considering that The reason for keep trying is not any emotional dependence or lack of girls, but simply for trying.
I liked your example of the inversions, but here no money is lost. In fact, you're going to lose nothing for trying a bit more.
Well, not for trying, but for correctly trying. That's the aim of the post, get to what's the best/correct way to keep trying/ to do in this situations.
The sense of trying in what seems a lost interaction is recovering it.

Thank you all for commenting!
You're talking about two different things. There's attraction that has gone away and then there's being not as attractive. Maybe I'm not understanding what you mean completely by "jump".
By jumping I mean kissing her.
That's the point.. if it's possible to recover the gone attraction
Author:  JackZero [ Thu Jan 26, 2017 4:55 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: not jumped when you had to, now what?
Quote:
By jumping I mean kissing her.
That's the point.. if it's possible to recover the gone attraction
NORMALLY if you don't kiss a girl, the reason for her moving on because of it only depends on her ability to attract other guys and how attracted she was to you in the first place. A girl with options may move on unless there is a reason that she was attracted to you outside of the base physical attraction (basically, got to her at an emotional level). So if you made the mistake of not appealing to her at a physical level or at an emotional level while she has the option of other men, you are going to be hard pressed when it comes to getting her back and your best option is to move on.
Author:  Furiox [ Thu Jan 26, 2017 11:05 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: not jumped when you had to, now what?
Easy...

Work on yourself, get more attractive, date other girls, get some new clothes.... / get in a happy state and then 3 months later or something when you have forgotten about her she and you run into each other maybe at a party or whatever, she will see the "new you" and if SHE is lucky you will speak to her but if not that's ok because you have other girls and live your life. Its her loss and don't pretend this but know this, to know this you need to do above.

Stop getting upset/ego hurt by girls cause it will drown you and make you feel like shit. We have all been in that place so learn from it and become a better man everyday!!!
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