PUA Forum :: Don't Ask Her For Favors

I've known this man for a year now.
Initially, there was some attraction on my part, not a lot though.

This guy would ask me for favors anytime he wanted to contact me, hear my voice, see me, etc.
The mild attraction I had for him wore off fast.

While I get helping out a friend, at a certain point, it became ridiculous knowing half of these favors he could do himself or ask his buddies. I'm not talking about 2-3 favors, I'm talking 10-15 favors.

I've told him I'm not interested in him whatsoever and that I have a boyfriend. Did that work? Nope. Contacts me every couple of weeks asking me for a favor.

I hate sounding mean because he is a genuinely nice guy, but my goodness, guys on here, take heed!

You want to impress a girl, get her attention, make her feel attracted? DON'T ask her for favors, especially in the beginning! Especially BS favors that it's so obvious you can do them by yourself, just because you want an excuse to hear from her.

....Yeah, and in a last attempt to redeem himself, he claimed he bedded 40 women.

Yeah...right.

Nice guys don't finish last......Nice guys finish.....alone.......in the shower.

Good stuff. This just falls into the creepy "hide your intentions" category that gets brought up so much here. When I advise people to just ask the girl over to their place or out for a drink without elaborate, fake, nice guy schemes, this is what I'm talking about.

How would you have felt if right away, within a few days of first meeting this guy, he asked you out simply and directly for a drink?

Third time asked me to help him with a favor which I did...

You want to impress a girl, get her attention, make her feel attracted? DON'T ask her for favors, especially in the beginning

He talked so much, including how cheap the beer at the place was, and how pretty I was....yet offered me 0 drinks.

Quote:

He talked so much, including how cheap the beer at the place was, and how pretty I was....yet offered me 0 drinks.

And the pattern reemerges.

Quote:

He talked so much, including how cheap the beer at the place was, and how pretty I was....yet offered me 0 drinks.

And the pattern reemerges.

Author:	HT23VWY67 [ Mon Dec 19, 2016 8:56 pm ]
Post subject:	Don't Ask Her For Favors
I've known this man for a year now. Initially, there was some attraction on my part, not a lot though. This guy would ask me for favors anytime he wanted to contact me, hear my voice, see me, etc. The mild attraction I had for him wore off fast. While I get helping out a friend, at a certain point, it became ridiculous knowing half of these favors he could do himself or ask his buddies. I'm not talking about 2-3 favors, I'm talking 10-15 favors. I've told him I'm not interested in him whatsoever and that I have a boyfriend. Did that work? Nope. Contacts me every couple of weeks asking me for a favor. I hate sounding mean because he is a genuinely nice guy, but my goodness, guys on here, take heed! You want to impress a girl, get her attention, make her feel attracted? DON'T ask her for favors, especially in the beginning! Especially BS favors that it's so obvious you can do them by yourself, just because you want an excuse to hear from her.

Author:	Heywood Jablowme [ Mon Dec 19, 2016 8:59 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Don't Ask Her For Favors
Quote: I've known this man for a year now. Initially, there was some attraction on my part, not a lot though. This guy would ask me for favors anytime he wanted to contact me, hear my voice, see me, etc. The mild attraction I had for him wore off fast. While I get helping out a friend, at a certain point, it became ridiculous knowing half of these favors he could do himself or ask his buddies. I'm not talking about 2-3 favors, I'm talking 10-15 favors. I've told him I'm not interested in him whatsoever and that I have a boyfriend. Did that work? Nope. Contacts me every couple of weeks asking me for a favor. I hate sounding mean because he is a genuinely nice guy, but my goodness, guys on here, take heed! You want to impress a girl, get her attention, make her feel attracted? DON'T ask her for favors, especially in the beginning! Especially BS favors that it's so obvious you can do them by yourself, just because you want an excuse to hear from her. Nice guys don't finish last......Nice guys finish.....alone.......in the shower.

Author:	HT23VWY67 [ Mon Dec 19, 2016 9:05 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Don't Ask Her For Favors
....Yeah, and in a last attempt to redeem himself, he claimed he bedded 40 women. Yeah...right.

Author:	Heywood Jablowme [ Mon Dec 19, 2016 9:09 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Don't Ask Her For Favors
Quote: ....Yeah, and in a last attempt to redeem himself, he claimed he bedded 40 women. Yeah...right. That meant he washed their linens.

Author:	Arch Stanton [ Tue Dec 20, 2016 9:57 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Don't Ask Her For Favors
Quote: Nice guys don't finish last......Nice guys finish.....alone.......in the shower. lol.

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Author:	Arch Stanton [ Tue Dec 20, 2016 10:00 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Don't Ask Her For Favors
Quote: I've known this man for a year now. Initially, there was some attraction on my part, not a lot though. This guy would ask me for favors anytime he wanted to contact me, hear my voice, see me, etc. The mild attraction I had for him wore off fast. While I get helping out a friend, at a certain point, it became ridiculous knowing half of these favors he could do himself or ask his buddies. I'm not talking about 2-3 favors, I'm talking 10-15 favors. I've told him I'm not interested in him whatsoever and that I have a boyfriend. Did that work? Nope. Contacts me every couple of weeks asking me for a favor. I hate sounding mean because he is a genuinely nice guy, but my goodness, guys on here, take heed! You want to impress a girl, get her attention, make her feel attracted? DON'T ask her for favors, especially in the beginning! Especially BS favors that it's so obvious you can do them by yourself, just because you want an excuse to hear from her. Good stuff. This just falls into the creepy "hide your intentions" category that gets brought up so much here. When I advise people to just ask the girl over to their place or out for a drink without elaborate, fake, nice guy schemes, this is what I'm talking about. How would you have felt if right away, within a few days of first meeting this guy, he asked you out simply and directly for a drink?

Author:	HT23VWY67 [ Tue Dec 20, 2016 10:17 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Don't Ask Her For Favors
Quote: Good stuff. This just falls into the creepy "hide your intentions" category that gets brought up so much here. When I advise people to just ask the girl over to their place or out for a drink without elaborate, fake, nice guy schemes, this is what I'm talking about. How would you have felt if right away, within a few days of first meeting this guy, he asked you out simply and directly for a drink? I think most women like men that take initiative. Grow some balls and take initiative. This dude reeks of desperate. He hit on some of my friends too, all ran the other way. First time I met him, he didn't offer a drink, nothing, but hit on me, and a few others. Second time I met him was in a proper social setting, guess what? He talked so much, including how cheap the beer at the place was, and how pretty I was....yet offered me 0 drinks. Third time asked me to help him with a favor which I did....then asked me if I'm interested in dating him. And after I flat out rejected him, because he couldn't understand a simple I'm not interested in you, he sent me a bunch of pictures of his exes. Hilarious, I know.

Author:	nr32 [ Tue Dec 20, 2016 7:01 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Don't Ask Her For Favors
Quote: Third time asked me to help him with a favor which I did... You're way too nice. And I'll take a diet coke while you're at it. Just kidding. Make that a Coke Zero. Quote: You want to impress a girl, get her attention, make her feel attracted? DON'T ask her for favors, especially in the beginning It's not about the favors themselves. If I was going into the kitchen and my girl asked me to fetch the peanut butter, I would, it's obviously on the way. Only fake "alphas" would get butt-hurt and take that as a test of strength. This guy was going after what is known as "compliance," or getting someone to do little favors which the person then rationalizes as "I'm doing this favor for him, that means I must like him." This would be OK if it was one or two little favors, but this guy was a social retard.

Author:	neo87 [ Tue Dec 20, 2016 7:10 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Don't Ask Her For Favors
Guy chasing you for a year equals desperate You keeping in contact with guy is attention seeking. If a guy is socially retarded, a jerk and bothers you...why continue that for a year? To feel desired. He's desperate but you're desperate for attention. Why do you always keep associating with losers yet act like that doesn't reflect badly on YOU?!

Author:	Arch Stanton [ Tue Dec 20, 2016 7:46 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Don't Ask Her For Favors
I have a bunch of female orbiters im cordial, too if they text or FB me. But I don't let it drag on. Probably what's going on here.

Author:	JackZero [ Tue Dec 20, 2016 8:22 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Don't Ask Her For Favors
Quote: He talked so much, including how cheap the beer at the place was, and how pretty I was....yet offered me 0 drinks. And the pattern reemerges.

Author:	Finished [ Tue Dec 20, 2016 8:24 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Don't Ask Her For Favors
Jesus OP, you should keep your personal little romance with Bartm to private chat.

Author:	Eddie Fews [ Tue Dec 20, 2016 9:19 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Don't Ask Her For Favors
Women have no idea how to tell a man they're not interested in a way in which the man will actually get it. The way women try to tell me no is subconsciously encouraging to them. Its more of a " You can't have me " and not so much a " Respect my decision and respect yourself. ". If you want a man to stop contacting you say something like this: " Hey, I'm not trying to be rude, but I have a boyfriend that i love and respect, and I refuse to dishonor him, disrespect him, or disrespect myself by having any further contact. I ask that you please respect me, respect yourself, and respect my space and direct your time and attention else where. I'm going to block your number, and remove you off all of my social media so you get the picture. Please respect my space and respect my relationship. Im genuinely not interested. Don't even respond to this message, just respect the sincerity of my request. Thank you and for the last time Goodbye." Try it.

Author:	Arch Stanton [ Tue Dec 20, 2016 10:26 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Don't Ask Her For Favors
Quote: Quote: He talked so much, including how cheap the beer at the place was, and how pretty I was....yet offered me 0 drinks. And the pattern reemerges. Haha, yeah. Not a good look.

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Author:	HT23VWY67 [ Tue Dec 20, 2016 11:24 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Don't Ask Her For Favors
Quote: Quote: He talked so much, including how cheap the beer at the place was, and how pretty I was....yet offered me 0 drinks. And the pattern reemerges. Different strokes for different folks. Not sure why you have such a problem with my preferences, Jack.