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Salty about this flake, how to read the situation?
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Author:  Pbblade3 [ Sun Dec 11, 2016 2:56 pm ]
Post subject:  Salty about this flake, how to read the situation?
We all know how annoying it is to be flaked out on at the last minute, but what's even more annoying is if you're absolutely optimistic that it won't happen and well.. It still does. Help me figure out what went wrong.

Matched with this really gorgeous girl on tinder and sent her a funny text about a picture of hers, she texts me back and we get into a playful mood, about 3-4 texts later she asks for my watsapp since it's easier to talk. Told her to add me and that i'll text respond to her later when i'm free.
2 days later she just texts me a casual * hi :) * , we hit off and start talking a bit. I waited for a good momentum and a few texts in to ask her out and she goes along with it. We decide to meet up close to hers and go for a drink. The only issue is that we scheduled it a week later since she was sick at that point. I decided to cut off here and not text her untill a few days before the scheduled date.

About 2 days prior to the date i just text her about a dog i found that looked very similar to hers and that i was about to snatch it as a christmas present for her (she's very fond of her dog) and we hit off again. Towards the end i ask her out for sunday again with the excuse of going for xmas presents and she's all in for it, even proposing several places we could go too, All cool.

Today i send her a text saying that i'll have to pick up a few pieces of work and that i'll be slightly late, about 20 minutes to which she replies ''Hey, i actually feel really bad, i'm still crashing over at my friends..'' (she told me she was going to a college party) to which i replied ''One hell of a party huh? It's cool, i'll ask someone else, take care of yourself!''.

She read the message, and no response back.
She replied positively, she set a location, she still flakes but doesn't apologize, that's the thing i'm mostly annoyed about. I'm guessing she potentially met a really nice guy the night before, but still, i'd be happy with an apology. The conversations we had were really good, playful and fun. Never went a needy route, or started asking stupid questions, never had to keep the convo alive either since it all went smooth. Short, powerful, not too much bullshit. Thought everything went well untill she flaked.
Author:  Curtis72 [ Sun Dec 11, 2016 4:49 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Salty about this flake, how to read the situation?
A lot of girls will agree to go out with you even when they have no plans of doing so.
Author:  DJ_Z [ Sun Dec 11, 2016 7:32 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Salty about this flake, how to read the situation?
Fuck the girl the day you meet her. It is actually easier than setting up later dates.
Author:  neo87 [ Sun Dec 11, 2016 8:18 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Salty about this flake, how to read the situation?
Quote:
Towards the end i ask her out for sunday again with the excuse of going for xmas presents and she's all in for it, even proposing several places we could go too, All cool.
Its a lame invite....sending dog pictures and asking her to go shopping is not giving her something to be jumping up for. Also, logistically, day time/afternoon shopping is not only lame, its harder as your asking upfront for more time and requires her to get ready early. The reason you ask a chick out later in the day, is because you dont run into the "I'm just waking up" or "I have xyz to do" thing.

Not really a hard flake, you set up a early time date with a chick who went out the night before. Your last msg was lame, id recommend reinitiating in a couple of days, fun and flirty, then set a REAL date.
Author:  Arch Stanton [ Mon Dec 12, 2016 12:37 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Salty about this flake, how to read the situation?
Quote:
About 2 days prior to the date i just text her about a dog i found that looked very similar to hers and that i was about to snatch it as a christmas present for her (she's very fond of her dog) and we hit off again.

Ugh. Way, way too much investment. You've never met this woman. Ever. Yet you're acting like you are in a one year relationship already talking xmas presents and gifts. To a woman, this smells like a man who isn't very good with women.

Quote:
Towards the end i ask her out for sunday again with the excuse of going for xmas presents and she's all in for it, even proposing several places we could go too, All cool.
WTF? Are you meeting up with your sister or trying to get a hot woman in bed? Why in the hell would you ask her out on a sunday afternoon? This makes no fucking sense at all.

Quote:
Today i send her a text saying that i'll have to pick up a few pieces of work and that i'll be slightly late, about 20 minutes to which she replies ''Hey, i actually feel really bad, i'm still crashing over at my friends..'' (she told me she was going to a college party) to which i replied ''One hell of a party huh? It's cool, i'll ask someone else, take care of yourself!''.

She read the message, and no response back.
The text I bolded is needy as hell, and butt-hurt. "I'll ask someone else" = butthurt. "Hell of a party, huh?" = needy/feelings hurt by a girl you've never met. This is how a pussy acts.

She wants to party and fuck (and she probably did fuck someone that night, thus her rejection of your date), and you came off like a weird guy who wants to go xmas, shopping, lol. I keep repeating this on this forum, but women want a GOOD TIME. They want to dance, catch a buzz, and have multiple orgasms. Save the shopping for a year later. The sooner you understand that women are this way, and not fragile, dumb princesses (they are more savy than men), the better off you'll be.




Quote:
She replied positively, she set a location, she still flakes but doesn't apologize, that's the thing i'm mostly annoyed about.
Be annoyed with yourself, bro. You showed up like a bitch, and she treated you accordingly.


Quote:
I'm guessing she potentially met a really nice guy the night before, but still, i'd be happy with an apology.

Expecting an apology fro ma woman you've never met is incredibly needy and desperate. This may have shown through in your interactions with her. And again, yo uare acting like you're in a one year relationship. This is emotionally-uncentered behavior.

You remind me of a friend of mine. We used to game together. He's 7 years younger and handsome, so he had an advantage. He'd text women like you do, about this pleaser-type dates and elaborate schemes, and they'd friendzone his ass right away, even before sex. Then I'd swoop in, make them pay for their owndrinks on the date, barely text them at all, get them off in bed and I couldn't get rid of them. He'd ask me what my trick was, lol. I told I'm good at eating pussy.
Quote:
he conversations we had were really good, playful and fun. Never went a needy route, or started asking stupid questions, never had to keep the convo alive either since it all went smooth. Short, powerful, not too much bullshit. Thought everything went well untill she flaked.
You contacted her too much, which is needy. Set a date a couple days out and get off the phone.

Text her this in a week:

"Hey XXX, I'm celebrating good news tonight at Bar X. You're welcome to join."
Author:  Arch Stanton [ Mon Dec 12, 2016 12:42 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Salty about this flake, how to read the situation?
Quote:
Its a lame invite....sending dog pictures and asking her to go shopping is not giving her something to be jumping up for.
lol, it's incredibly lame. Nice Guy Syndrome masking true sexual congruency and imploding his chances.
Author:  Pbblade3 [ Mon Dec 12, 2016 1:41 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Salty about this flake, how to read the situation?
Quote:
Quote:
Its a lame invite....sending dog pictures and asking her to go shopping is not giving her something to be jumping up for.
lol, it's incredibly lame. Nice Guy Syndrome masking true sexual congruency and imploding his chances.
I'm not sure wether you've both read the entire story or not, but i never mentioned any dog pictures.

How did any of my actions expose needyness? I don't get it.

The entirety of our conversations were fun, flirty and playful, that's basically how things started out and her asking my number a few texts later, it was all fun and games.

She asked the questions, i answered shortly and kept the vibe up, i was the one breaking the contact because i didn't want to text too much. We're talking 6-7 texts and that's it.

She proposed to go on Sunday the week after because she's doing double shifts during the week, i told her it's fine because i was on holiday and i'd be free on sunday.

After me sending the text about the dog, she was all cute about it, directly leading the conversation with her asking questions. You really think this made her decision?

My perspection is if she somewhere didn't give a fuck anymore, she wouldn't have lead the conversation. After proposing to go for a couple of xmas presents because i wouldn't have time to do so otherwise, she was the one coming up with alternatives for afterwards aswell. There was an event going on at that moment which we'd go too.

The last text was more along the lines like, Quite the party huh 8), good girl. It's no problem, i'll find someone else to join me, take care of yourself. How is that needy or butthurt? I displayed no affection and showed her that i don't mind her flaking, and that i'm just simply gonna reschedule that plan and invite someone else.

Guess the thread makes it look needy, but the contact i had with her was entirely different. I'm here to learn after all, i'm not here to cry about the situation, gotta up my game for next time.

Have had the same vibe with another girl, exactly the same and we are meeting eachother tommorow. She's been texting me constantly saying how happy she is we met etc. I even had to tone her down a notch because i couldn't even get shit done.
Author:  Arch Stanton [ Mon Dec 12, 2016 2:06 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Salty about this flake, how to read the situation?
Quote:

How did any of my actions expose needyness? I don't get it.

You can't be serious.

You got blown off by a girl who was still sleeping at her "friend's" place the night before a very lame xmas shopping date. You did not lead.

Quote:
The entirety of our conversations were fun, flirty and playful, that's basically how things started out and her asking my number a few texts later, it was all fun and games.
Until you made lame comments about dogs for presents and acted like her sister (xmas shopping on a sunday, LOL!).


Quote:
The last text was more along the lines like, Quite the party huh 8), good girl. It's no problem, i'll find someone else to join me, take care of yourself. How is that needy or butthurt?
Wow, are you joking? A man who gets laid on the regular doesn't text that. It reads, "Fine, I'll go with someone else!". And then you told her "goodbye" with the "take care of yourself" line. That's what you tell someone you no loger plan to talk to.

Your neediness radar needs work.

Here's what a non-thirsty man texts back:

"Cool, I'll hit you up later. Have a good one."

She didn't text you back because you looked butthurt and needy.
Quote:
Have had the same vibe with another girl, exactly the same and we are meeting eachother tommorow. She's been texting me constantly saying how happy she is we met etc. I even had to tone her down a notch because i couldn't even get shit done.
Tomorrow night or tomorrow afternoon?
Author:  neo87 [ Mon Dec 12, 2016 3:09 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Salty about this flake, how to read the situation?
Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
Its a lame invite....sending dog pictures and asking her to go shopping is not giving her something to be jumping up for.
lol, it's incredibly lame. Nice Guy Syndrome masking true sexual congruency and imploding his chances.
I'm not sure wether you've both read the entire story or not, but i never mentioned any dog pictures.

How did any of my actions expose needyness? I don't get it.

The entirety of our conversations were fun, flirty and playful, that's basically how things started out and her asking my number a few texts later, it was all fun and games.

She asked the questions, i answered shortly and kept the vibe up, i was the one breaking the contact because i didn't want to text too much. We're talking 6-7 texts and that's it.

She proposed to go on Sunday the week after because she's doing double shifts during the week, i told her it's fine because i was on holiday and i'd be free on sunday.

After me sending the text about the dog, she was all cute about it, directly leading the conversation with her asking questions. You really think this made her decision?

My perspection is if she somewhere didn't give a fuck anymore, she wouldn't have lead the conversation. After proposing to go for a couple of xmas presents because i wouldn't have time to do so otherwise, she was the one coming up with alternatives for afterwards aswell. There was an event going on at that moment which we'd go too.

The last text was more along the lines like, Quite the party huh 8), good girl. It's no problem, i'll find someone else to join me, take care of yourself. How is that needy or butthurt? I displayed no affection and showed her that i don't mind her flaking, and that i'm just simply gonna reschedule that plan and invite someone else.

Guess the thread makes it look needy, but the contact i had with her was entirely different. I'm here to learn after all, i'm not here to cry about the situation, gotta up my game for next time.

Have had the same vibe with another girl, exactly the same and we are meeting eachother tommorow. She's been texting me constantly saying how happy she is we met etc. I even had to tone her down a notch because i couldn't even get shit done.
Sending dog pictures or texting about a dog. My pt is chick from tinder, keep the "cute" to a minimum. "Cute" is gonna work against you. Same with the shopping. Look, dont take a girls recommendations seriously. A chick may be excited for shopping or dog pictures...but thats not going to turn her on. You have to lead. Chicks will be excited for a movie or coffee date...but they arent good date ideas.

Now, I dont see what you did as a major failure; those are just suggestions on what to keep to a minimum. I dont know how she took your last message (it can be a turn off message), my guess is this chick would have met you and you couldve corrected on the date.
Quote:
One hell of a party huh? It's cool, i'll ask someone else, take care of yourself!
This is just unnecessary. Who cares if she takes care of herself? Also, you're ending the conversation. When you're texting a chick you havent met, dont end text convos. No need for "goodnights" "goodbyes" "talk to you later"...just dont respond and initiate later. Now, you gotta double text. You dont need to say you're going with someone else. Let her assume or wonder. Its try hard.

Keep in mind, I'm not saying you wouldnt be able to do whatever with this chick. You could very well hit her up later and she responds happy, set a date and fuck. Im just saying these small things you dont want to do in general.
Author:  Arch Stanton [ Mon Dec 12, 2016 3:26 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Salty about this flake, how to read the situation?
Quote:
Keep in mind, I'm not saying you wouldnt be able to do whatever with this chick. You could very well hit her up later and she responds happy, set a date and fuck. Im just saying these small things you dont want to do in general.

Right. That's why I hammered him so he doesn't blow it. He still has a chance with this girl.
Author:  R.C [ Mon Dec 12, 2016 8:46 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Salty about this flake, how to read the situation?
Guess I'm late to the party, but yeah, what neo and Arch said. Especially:

This is just unnecessary. Who cares if she takes care of herself? Also, you're ending the conversation. When you're texting a chick you havent met, dont end text convos. No need for "goodnights" "goodbyes" "talk to you later"...just dont respond and initiate later. Now, you gotta double text. You dont need to say you're going with someone else. Let her assume or wonder. Its try hard. [/quote]
Author:  Pbblade3 [ Mon Dec 12, 2016 6:19 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Salty about this flake, how to read the situation?
Quote:
Quote:
Keep in mind, I'm not saying you wouldnt be able to do whatever with this chick. You could very well hit her up later and she responds happy, set a date and fuck. Im just saying these small things you dont want to do in general.

Right. That's why I hammered him so he doesn't blow it. He still has a chance with this girl.
Do appreciate your advice, it's been helping me build up my game a tad bit stronger. I'm just gonna throw the towel in the ring and admit my defeat, i did probably fuck up with the perspective that i didn't. It's all fine though, i do not suffer from one itis, despite that, it would still be cool to come up with a way to get her to go for a drink, these are the type of situations i usually bail on, but it's not gonna help me improve if i do.

I'm meeting the other girl @ 20.00 PM for a drink. The difference that i did notice is how i managed to set a frame and kept her in it. I was the one dictating on what she'll be wearing and stuff like that. She did test me quite hard and tried multiple times to throw me of the throne, but i did keep up and threw out some bold stuff which got good results.

Is there any advice you have for text game? How do you make an impact while also being an interesting guy? When i try a more sexual approach, they're usually like wtf. U can't go soft because they'll just laugh you off.

I'm not trying to solely game through text, It's an additional thing i take along the trip.
Author:  R.C [ Tue Dec 13, 2016 8:23 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Salty about this flake, how to read the situation?
Read my guide for texting.
Author:  Eddie Fews [ Wed Dec 14, 2016 10:15 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Salty about this flake, how to read the situation?
Why shouldn't she flake if you're such a nice guy that she can flake on you twice and you'll still run to the forums to ask us so you can have justification in continuing to give her more of your time to waste?

I mean.. Why the hell not? If you know a girl is down to see you whenever you tell her to and you have tons of other options why not just bounce her around and keep her as an option until you're ready?

As much as you probably don't want to accept it you're being a door mat. How many more chances do you get a flake? Not to mention her response in NO WAY suggested that she gave two shits about what you thought about it. I could only hope that in the future you have the dignity to not even be curious after something like that. Not even curious to mention her to anyone, let alone us. The more time you spend thinking about this non sense the less time you have to get with someone who actually does respect your time.
Author:  Pbblade3 [ Fri Dec 16, 2016 6:25 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Salty about this flake, how to read the situation?
Quote:
Why shouldn't she flake if you're such a nice guy that she can flake on you twice and you'll still run to the forums to ask us so you can have justification in continuing to give her more of your time to waste?

I mean.. Why the hell not? If you know a girl is down to see you whenever you tell her to and you have tons of other options why not just bounce her around and keep her as an option until you're ready?

As much as you probably don't want to accept it you're being a door mat. How many more chances do you get a flake? Not to mention her response in NO WAY suggested that she gave two shits about what you thought about it. I could only hope that in the future you have the dignity to not even be curious after something like that. Not even curious to mention her to anyone, let alone us. The more time you spend thinking about this non sense the less time you have to get with someone who actually does respect your time.

She never flaked twice, i only tried setting up a meeting once with her.

Took out another girl on Monday night, had a really good time. Reading a couple of these responses did give me a whole different perspective on my approach and gave me enough time to reflect
Gotta say.. the advice really did help me bring up my A game that night.
Got shittested on more occasions then not, got questioned about many things, and i somehow managed to find the perfect answer to everything. (she later messaged me about how impressed she was). Fastforward a few days later, we met up again and k-closed, nearly leading to f-closing (had to get up in 6 hours). She's constantly texting me stuff about things she loves about me and yada yada.

Thanks again for the advice
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