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| How to improve debating/arguing skills https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=199560 |
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| Author: | Aitch1 [ Fri Oct 14, 2016 7:00 pm ] |
| Post subject: | How to improve debating/arguing skills |
I am a non confrontational person which means i never had lots of opportunities to improve my arguing ability. So when the times do come I often don't think of what to say till after. Being a good debater would also be good for challenging women, when we must. Are there any good sites/books or exercises i should read or do? |
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| Author: | JackZero [ Fri Oct 14, 2016 7:37 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: How to improve debating/arguing skills |
The best book on debating/arguing for someone that wants to develop the skill is Thank you for arguing by Jay Heinrichs. |
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| Author: | Aitch1 [ Fri Oct 14, 2016 9:45 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: How to improve debating/arguing skills |
thanks
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| Author: | dasmooth [ Mon Oct 17, 2016 5:10 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: How to improve debating/arguing skills |
Saw this post n thought about saying a few word n adding a few notes/things to just consider about this subject to the OP. Imo arguments can be somewhat tricky depending on how deep the argument has gone, wht the subject matter is thts being argued over , and wht it is you or the other person is trying to achieve through the argument. They are hard I think in relationships because while they are normal amongst couples/ to have in relationships, arguments can still have the potential to tear the entire relationship apart through the negative emotions n built animosity if the arguments are not resolved. If you're in a relationship I think it's important to not always focus on being the one who's right ( obviously n thts one of the most likely reasons why arguments can build so much momentum and get very nasty very fast.) After arguments (with a friend,girl/gf) I think wht u can do after it n things have settled is to reestablish tht bond n connection through commication n activities u both lke to do (friend/gf) to rekindle the connection n investment from something tht could've easily severed it. You asked about improving your argument skills so I'll leave you with these lil notes - in order to be good at debating/arguing you have to have good communication skills already to some extent. If you can't talk your way out of a paper bag , know how to dodge a curve ball people can occasionally throw at you to try to break your composure, or understand what is happening at the moment of the "argument/debate" through the frames tht are being established/absorbed/ignored , I dnt think really any book tht teaches u conversational techniques of how to argue/debate/apply verbal judo is really going to be of any help to you til you can be able to do wht I've just said. -Arguements aren't really effective with pu or getting girs. They dnt help you get anywhere thts substantial with ppl or girls(getting laid or digits to meet up somewhere) Bantering can create arguments very fast if the subject of conversation doesn't move somewhere else in a more positive direction . Arguements just serve a purpose ( imo ) to get a reaction from people, to help you indicate whether or not you created some sort of emotional impact in them n tht they care about wht it is thts being said to them or about them. There's many techniques n ways to get people talking, qualifying themselves to you, lower their value or amount of social power in the interaction with you. Arguements (imo) is not the best or greatest way to do tht. There's a difference between challenging people n arguing with people. Arguing just becomes this back n forth looptie loop where your position is being tested n theirs is being tested, if no one can find some sort of common ground to agree on to kind of move the conversation onto something else thts more positive,it becomes this endless cycle going in circles of who is right n who is wrong until someone just gets too frustrated/winded up tht they start getting very nasty n offensive. Thts probably not wht you want with a stranger if you're not a confrontational person n whose goal in mind is to simply just talk to girls or make a connection with someone u like. if you're talking with someone and you are getting them to build onto your/the conversations tht are started then it be To many people it can be quite jarring to them n a bit rude if you challenge them in conversation too early on. You dnt want to just challenge them until they actually kind of lke u n want to really keep talking with u conversation . Although it can be useful once in a blue moon but its not really effective with strangers. If someone talks about their opinion on something it's better to just question why they think tht n have them elaborate while you are all ears n then feed back to them wht you just heard from them n let them know you understand wht they are saying n wht you like about it. Also you could just feed back to them what they just said n add your point of view on the subject matter. Afterwards u can ask a deeper question relating to the topic or start a whole new one. It keeps the conversation going in a more positive direction rather in a negative one which I think is a whole lot better. |
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| Author: | JackZero [ Mon Oct 17, 2016 5:41 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: How to improve debating/arguing skills |
Quote:
... Have you read any books on rhetoric? Knowing how to argue teaches you how to stop an argument if you want to. Knowing how to argue can keep a disagreement from going out of control. I'd advise anyone to learn how to argue because conflict is something that always happens. It's a passive skill when it comes to pickup and not necessarily important, but it's cool to have in your back pocket.
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| Author: | Warped Mindless [ Mon Oct 17, 2016 10:30 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: How to improve debating/arguing skills |
Quote: The best book on debating/arguing for someone that wants to develop the skill is Thank you for arguing by Jay Heinrichs.
Came here to reccomend that one too. Great book.
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