Hey guys

As the title suggests i'm considering something of an open relationship. I've never really been in one explicitly, obviously there are grey areas in dating.. but i'd like to hear from someone with some experience with it.

I'm a junior in college, and there is a girl i dated over the summer. We really kicked it off actually, but she goes to school 8 hours away, so thats a challenge. I've thoroughly debated just ending the whole thing, its not something thats off the table for me, but i think it would be better if i could somehow change the settings on the relationship to being more open. I think it'd probably be healthier, although again, i don't really know how to approach it, or what its even like to be in one, so if anyone has advice, i'd love to hear it.

You'd be better of ending it on friendly terms. You can still hookup when and if you meet, but being in a relationship of any kind is pointless when long distance is involved.

Are you okay with her fucking other dudes?

That said tho, I'd like to know why you think LDRs aren't worth the effort.

Obviously your not in a committed relationship. Have you considered just keeping your mouth shut?

Hey so far as my own personal situation goes, i don't have a ton of time to commit to going out. I'm a physics major and the coursework is pretty intense, so the setup i have going, while not being great obviously, at least guarantees that i'm having sex with an attractive girl every other week. The same kind of thing isn't guaranteed if i leave things on good terms and just pursue things here.

That said tho, I'd like to know why you think LDRs aren't worth the effort.

Distance can indeed create mistrust - particularly if your bond was weak to begin with. You're basically near relationship forming stage, when trust is extremely fragile.

I'll tell you this, do whatever you want, but make sure you talk directly and openly with her about it. There is nothing I can gather about the strength of your relationship with her from your post. If it's weak, I would let it go. If you REALLY kicked it off, you can discuss a LDR.

Hey guys

I'm a junior in college, and there is a girl i dated over the summer. We really kicked it off actually, but she goes to school 8 hours away, so thats a challenge.

This is kind of the monkey wrench in the whole situation tho, is that she actually fucked this dude she was dating before me like the week she got back. Then kind of realized, the week i was there, that it was a "huge mistake" and told me about it while we were getting dinner at the end of the week. Tbh i laughed kind of hysterically when she said it, which was maybe an insane response, but i thought it was incredibly funny. I didn't think anything of the guy, and i thought it was a really bad look for her to have done that.. i mean she was crying because she'd thought i would never speak to her again since she did that. (still considering it!)

Anyway, maybe that was just shock, cuz it settled in and i was actually pretty hurt by it like a half hour later. Still had sex with her, then the next day she was like being a bit stuck up, kind of self important/rude, so i basically said if she didn't cut the shit, that i was going to leave Ohio and she'd never see or speak to me again. Which i did, and then she like totally freaked the fuck out and followed me all the way back to jersey to basically fix things as best she could.

Don't go the safe route. Go meet other women, because at any moment this girl can decide to not fuck you and that is that.

Well, yea to give a back drop, she's from maryland, goes to school in ohio, was doing an internship in jersey over the summer when she met me. We dated, it was pretty great, solid chemistry but we were both pretty much convinced that it like wouldn't work long distance, or at least, given our lifestyles, neither of us had intentions of making it work.

So i had plans to go out to ohio to visit my friend who goes there (met her thru him) the week following her leaving. So i figured i'd basically party with my friend, have sex with her, that'd kind of be that.. good summer, go back to jersey for school and work on things here.

This is kind of the monkey wrench in the whole situation tho, is that she actually fucked this dude she was dating before me like the week she got back. Then kind of realized, the week i was there, that it was a "huge mistake" and told me about it while we were getting dinner at the end of the week. Tbh i laughed kind of hysterically when she said it, which was maybe an insane response, but i thought it was incredibly funny. I didn't think anything of the guy, and i thought it was a really bad look for her to have done that.. i mean she was crying because she'd thought i would never speak to her again since she did that. (still considering it!)

Anyway, maybe that was just shock, cuz it settled in and i was actually pretty hurt by it like a half hour later. Still had sex with her, then the next day she was like being a bit stuck up, kind of self important/rude, so i basically said if she didn't cut the shit, that i was going to leave Ohio and she'd never see or speak to me again. Which i did, and then she like totally freaked the fuck out and followed me all the way back to jersey to basically fix things as best she could.

TL:DR: I think she really wants to be with me, but i just don't trust her enough to make a real go of it. I am considering alternatives or input.