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You're a nice guy, but you're not my type says wife of 8yr
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Author:  MacheteRodriguez [ Wed Sep 21, 2016 2:40 am ]
Post subject:  You're a nice guy, but you're not my type says wife of 8yr

Wife of 8yrs says I'm not her type and that I'm a nice guy and that there's nothing wrong with me. She said she never felt connected to me, even after having kids. She doesn't enjoy sex and is boring missionary position, she's not into oral (giving or receiving) and sex is 1 or 2 times / month. Can the marriage be saved or is it over?

Author:  Rock-Lee [ Wed Sep 21, 2016 2:42 am ]
Post subject:  Re: You're a nice guy, but you're not my type says wife of 8

Quote:
Wife of 8yrs says I'm not her type and that I'm a nice guy and that there's nothing wrong with me. She said she never felt connected to me, even after having kids. She doesn't enjoy sex and is boring missionary position, she's not into oral (giving or receiving) and sex is 1 or 2 times / month. Can the marriage be saved or is it over?
Jesus... This is not a marriage counseling forum!

Author:  MacheteRodriguez [ Wed Sep 21, 2016 2:48 am ]
Post subject:  Re: You're a nice guy, but you're not my type says wife of 8

no, but it's relevant because PUA techniques can be applied to marriages. I'm just trying to figure out if it's too late for that.

Author:  JackZero [ Wed Sep 21, 2016 2:56 am ]
Post subject:  Re: You're a nice guy, but you're not my type says wife of 8

Quote:
no, but it's relevant because PUA techniques can be applied to marriages. I'm just trying to figure out if it's too late for that.
Oh yeah? Which pua tactics are you talking about?

Author:  Jay (Majik) [ Wed Sep 21, 2016 3:10 am ]
Post subject:  Re: You're a nice guy, but you're not my type says wife of 8

You're not the stud that fucks her brains out and leaves her shaking...

You can change yourself and she might eventually want you back. But to be honest, at that point, you won't want her anymore.

You've gotta change yourself. See the relationship ending as an opportunity for you to do such.

Author:  Mr. Assertive [ Wed Sep 21, 2016 4:22 am ]
Post subject:  Re: You're a nice guy, but you're not my type says wife of 8

Quote:
no, but it's relevant because PUA techniques can be applied to marriages. I'm just trying to figure out if it's too late for that.

Image

Author:  MacheteRodriguez [ Wed Sep 21, 2016 4:39 am ]
Post subject:  Re: You're a nice guy, but you're not my type says wife of 8

lol

Author:  Heywood Jablowme [ Wed Sep 21, 2016 1:25 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: You're a nice guy, but you're not my type says wife of 8

Do you WANT to keep her? Or do you think you have no other options?

Author:  Aqualol [ Wed Sep 21, 2016 1:53 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: You're a nice guy, but you're not my type says wife of 8

We talking an 8 year old marriage with kids guys..

We're not talking about some random gf, but to a life commitment with children involved...think 20 times before you press submit button.

Author:  Heywood Jablowme [ Wed Sep 21, 2016 2:02 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: You're a nice guy, but you're not my type says wife of 8

Strength is removing your kids from a toxic environment.

Author:  VitaBrevis [ Wed Sep 21, 2016 2:05 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: You're a nice guy, but you're not my type says wife of 8

Your marriage was over 8yrs ago, she's only just telling you now.

Author:  R.C [ Wed Sep 21, 2016 6:00 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: You're a nice guy, but you're not my type says wife of 8

Quote:
She doesn't enjoy sex and is boring missionary position, she's not into oral (giving or receiving) and sex is 1 or 2 times / month. Can the marriage be saved or is it over?
You have been doing something terribly wrong.

First off, missionary? really? The only women I met to actually enjoy missionary are those that enjoy just about any position and even then missionary is the most boring and unexciting.
As far as oral goes, sure some women are a bit insecure about receiving oral, but even that's a barrier you need to tear down once. And she's not into giving it either? Come on man.

You're telling me that that's the kind of sex you've been having for the past 8 years?

I know it sucks, but as others have said, this is more of a blessing in disguise.

Author:  Arch Stanton [ Wed Sep 21, 2016 7:47 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: You're a nice guy, but you're not my type says wife of 8

Quote:
Wife of 8yrs says I'm not her type and that I'm a nice guy and that there's nothing wrong with me. She said she never felt connected to me, even after having kids. She doesn't enjoy sex and is boring missionary position, she's not into oral (giving or receiving) and sex is 1 or 2 times / month. Can the marriage be saved or is it over?

You're not bringing it in the bedroom, and you got kicked to the curb because of it.

A man LEADS in the bedroom (by the hair, by the arm, not asking what position is next, etc). And then a man makes his woman come, a lot. Most women come from oral, but some do well from intercourse.

GOOD ORAL is a must for keeping a woman long term. If she doesn't like it when you go down on her, the relationship is fucked. You have to improve your skills, or find a woman who is easier to please sexually.

Author:  Cross De Lena [ Wed Sep 21, 2016 11:01 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: You're a nice guy, but you're not my type says wife of 8

I actually feel very sorry for you, usually women leave hints if something's not okay. But that her straightforward telling you means it probably is over, but not necessarily beyond saving.

In your place I would be worried about her having an affair too. Worse thing that could happen is that you get a divorce, but you're in the right place, here are the guys with whom you'll be able to pull this off the correct way if it comes to that.

Another thing:
Quote:
She said she never felt connected to me, even after having kids.
I don't think this is true, no women would intentionally put herself trough 8 years of shit and then say they didn't feel anything.

Start on working on yourself now, join the gym, read books, do something you're passionate about (you probably put her on the pedestal and had nothing better to do than taking care of the kids and her).

Author:  MacheteRodriguez [ Thu Sep 22, 2016 7:13 am ]
Post subject:  Re: You're a nice guy, but you're not my type says wife of 8

Well, I actually do workout and maintain a healthy lifestyle. I never actually thought there was a problem until she lashed out at me a couple months ago and gave an ultimatum that if she doesn't feel connected in a year she'd want a divorce. It was out of the blue. Turns out she was having an emotional affair and physical to the extent of making out. When I caught her, she played it down and blamed it on me, and said it was mistake but she never takes responsibility for it. That was the point I started reading The Game, but all my efforts have failed so far. There really isn't any emotional or physical connection. She spends more time talking to her male friends over the phone than me - even after kids are as sleep. May be its my insecurities but i feel insulted and angry by what's going on.

Recent browser history searches by her include: Why i still love him (subject of her affair). She never talks to me about it and denies having any feelings for that guy, but it's one lie after another.

Kids are the only reason I'm exploring any possibility of making this work.

But may be you're right that this is blessing in disguise/ it's just impossible to see it that way cause I can't imagine being separated from kids.

I feel my anger and resentment is preventing me from correcting the problem at hand by being able to connect with her, but I just don't know how I can accomplish that.

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