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I think I went too far while texting trying to be cool..
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Author:  Aqualol [ Sun Sep 04, 2016 5:29 pm ]
Post subject:  I think I went too far while texting trying to be cool..
So, long story short, met this girl 2 months ago at a party, but could not go on a date because she was going on vacations for 2 months (she's a 25 yo student).

We kept in touch, I mostly contacted her but she contacted me on her own like twice (I maybe contacted her a total of 4 times).

We always chatted short (like 10 minutes) but it was always funny and interesting and she kept saying that I was a very funny guy and I made her laugh a lot.

Today I decided to set a date but I think I played it way too "tryhard".

That's the conversation:

Me: "Hey strawberry, I was thinking that I spent like 10 minutes to send you those chemistry papers the other day, you should make it up to me. You could steal an airplane and we could go to Bahamas and dance on some cool beach party. If that's too hard look, I want to go to this museum where they have a nice expo and you're coming with me next sunday".

Her: "Hey...You're right I should make it up to you.. I don't know if I'm in town next weekend, but I'd love to..I'm going to an expo right now, it's called GNAM".

Me: "Oh, don't know it, I guess there's lots of stuff to eat!"

Her: "No, it's not food related and that wasn't funny"

Me: "Ofc it was, it's you that you're no longer 5 years old, it was just wrong demographics"

Her: "Ahahahha"

Me: "Don't be the girl that only laughs to hipster jokes about social aperitifs and comrade Trotzky jokes, have fun tonight then"

Her: "Aren't you odd?" (odd isn't really the best translation of the italian word, it can also mean that you're odd in a positive way and make her laugh"

Her: "And you should suggest more expositions, have a good night too".

I think I went much too tryhard into trying to be funny and cool, but she might have felt me too aggro when I told her "You're coming with me" without asking, maybe it was a bit too far. I also didn't loose up, but I was not going to suck it up when she told me the joke wasn't funny and I felt I needed to turn it around.

Anyway any suggestion is welcome, criticism is welcome.

Should I text her again or just disappear till she will write? I hate making myself available, it looks needy, even this summer I avoided to contact her to see if she was going to.

I think I didn't really fucked up, but I really need criticism.

Galist is not welcome here.
Author:  n2thevoid [ Sun Sep 04, 2016 6:06 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: I think I went too far while texting trying to be cool..
reading into it a bit much

text as normal, don't revisit this, its just nerves for you i would be a bit less lengthy on your texts but you didn't do anything 'wrong'

when its closer to her arriving in town, like a few days, then set up a date

lol@Gaylist being unwelcome
Author:  Aqualol [ Sun Sep 04, 2016 6:16 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: I think I went too far while texting trying to be cool..
She's already in town from 4 days, I didn't text her right away because:

a) didn't want to look needy/loser counting days for her arrival

b) I was busy
Author:  n2thevoid [ Sun Sep 04, 2016 6:19 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: I think I went too far while texting trying to be cool..
Quote:
She's already in town from 4 days, I didn't text her right away because:

a) didn't want to look needy/loser counting days for her arrival

b) I was busy
text later

keep it light and funny let her respond before u keep texting away
Author:  Aqualol [ Sun Sep 04, 2016 6:21 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: I think I went too far while texting trying to be cool..
Later like when?

Shouldn't be her now that has to say if she's in town the next weekend or not?

I don't want to contact her all times. I hate making myself available.

I think I won't text her for the next 10 days (I mean, if she's busy next weekend) and then invite her for something the week after.
Author:  n2thevoid [ Sun Sep 04, 2016 6:28 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: I think I went too far while texting trying to be cool..
Let her contact you, go game other girls.
Author:  swordmind88 [ Sun Sep 04, 2016 8:32 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: I think I went too far while texting trying to be cool..
Personally i thought it was kinda cool. Especially when you mentioned trotsky. keep it up dude.
Quote:
Should I text her again or just disappear till she will write? I hate making myself available, it looks needy
this goes both ways. it can look needy and it can look like youre a man who knows what he wants and isnt scared to go for it. it all depends. maybe she wants you to text her. read between the lines and be non-chalant about it or use the opportunity to escalate.

"its not what you say, its how you say it."
Author:  Aqualol [ Sun Sep 04, 2016 8:52 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: I think I went too far while texting trying to be cool..
What do you mean escalating while chatting?

I'd rather escalate on person.
Author:  n2thevoid [ Sun Sep 04, 2016 9:05 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: I think I went too far while texting trying to be cool..
Quote:
What do you mean escalating while chatting?

I'd rather escalate on person.
He means take her on an escalator like at a mall or airport and chat with her on that, she'll associate the conversation with you to the feeling of love as the two of you ascent together.
Author:  Aqualol [ Sun Sep 04, 2016 9:28 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: I think I went too far while texting trying to be cool..
Be serious.
Author:  n2thevoid [ Sun Sep 04, 2016 9:33 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: I think I went too far while texting trying to be cool..
Quote:
Be serious.
No.
Author:  swordmind88 [ Sun Sep 04, 2016 10:56 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: I think I went too far while texting trying to be cool..
Quote:
What do you mean escalating while chatting?

I'd rather escalate on person.
I mean if you limit yourself to exclusively escalate ONLY in person and just in person by some sort of ego principle, you're gonna miss out on alot of chances of escalating in other areas and develop your skills in said areas (IE. text, chat, video, facetime, phonecall etc etc).
Author:  VitaBrevis [ Mon Sep 05, 2016 12:33 am ]
Post subject:  Re: I think I went too far while texting trying to be cool..
You met two months ago, and no offence, but it sounds like you haven't got any numbers in the interim? I say that because you seem to be putting way too much stock into this digital "relationship" and I suspect you wouldn't be doing that if you were in touch with a few other girls.

Just ask her out and play it from there. No need to over-game it. It's still a non-event till you have some onworld time together, never mind texts or messaging.

But I have to say it already sounds like one person may be turning up just looking for some fun, and the other one is staking their happiness on it. So pull back a bit.
Author:  Arch Stanton [ Mon Sep 05, 2016 1:02 am ]
Post subject:  Re: I think I went too far while texting trying to be cool..
Quote:
We always chatted short (like 10 minutes) but it was always funny and interesting and she kept saying that I was a very funny guy and I made her laugh a lot.
Aw, how cute! You're her text pal and court jester.

See anything wrong with this picture? Not what you had in mind, right? You want to be the guy who doesn't buy her drinks, and the guy who makes her scream in bed, NOT the court jester.

Quote:
Me: "Hey strawberry, I was thinking that I spent like 10 minutes to send you those chemistry papers the other day, you should make it up to me. You could steal an airplane and we could go to Bahamas and dance on some cool beach party. If that's too hard look, I want to go to this museum where they have a nice expo and you're coming with me next sunday".
This is a novel and basically reveals you're in love with her. She has to be really attracted to you in this instance.

A nickname for a girl who hasn't put your dick in her mouth is too high of a level of investment. She needs to invest first. And I still would not use nicknames consistently for 9's and 10's even in a relationship. Picture Jason Statham using cute nicknames on a girl. He'd look like a jackass. You do too.

Also, using a "I did you a favor, make it up to me" is needy, like just your presence isn't good enough. It comes off as a bribe for sex. It's weak as shit.

This entire paragraph reads like gamey, forced jargon.


Quote:
Her: "Aren't you odd?" (odd isn't really the best translation of the italian word, it can also mean that you're odd in a positive way and make her laugh"
hahhaha aren't you her cute little retarded squirrel. What she thinks: "He's goofy and gives me attention, haha. I like attention".


you don't want her texting that you're odd. Here's what you want her to text you, and it's the only thing that means a damn thing:

Her: What are you doing right now?


Quote:
Anyway any suggestion is welcome, criticism is welcome.
There's still hope. Break off contact with her and stop trying so hard. Only a FEW texts back and forth. You are way over invested at this point. All communication should lead towards a meet up, nothing less. Make sure your texts are shorter than hers. Respond to her as if you have three women in your bed right then and there.

"Cool"

"Alright"

"Sweet"

"sounds good"


You sound like a bright guy, but things need to be simplified.
Author:  Aqualol [ Mon Sep 05, 2016 8:58 am ]
Post subject:  Re: I think I went too far while texting trying to be cool..
Quote:
Quote:
We always chatted short (like 10 minutes) but it was always funny and interesting and she kept saying that I was a very funny guy and I made her laugh a lot.
Aw, how cute! You're her text pal and court jester.

See anything wrong with this picture? Not what you had in mind, right? You want to be the guy who doesn't buy her drinks, and the guy who makes her scream in bed, NOT the court jester.
Agree. But all in all we had very short chats and I made her laugh, what's so bad about not being boring and being funny? She once wrote me that "she was smiling and laughing like an austistic alone", I think a person you're not interested into would not make you that effect right?

But I kind of agree, I probably should limit those stuff.

Quote:
Me: "Hey strawberry, I was thinking that I spent like 10 minutes to send you those chemistry papers the other day, you should make it up to me. You could steal an airplane and we could go to Bahamas and dance on some cool beach party. If that's too hard look, I want to go to this museum where they have a nice expo and you're coming with me next sunday".

This is a novel and basically reveals you're in love with her. She has to be really attracted to you in this instance.

A nickname for a girl who hasn't put your dick in her mouth is too high of a level of investment. She needs to invest first. And I still would not use nicknames consistently for 9's and 10's even in a relationship. Picture Jason Statham using cute nicknames on a girl. He'd look like a jackass. You do too.

Also, using a "I did you a favor, make it up to me" is needy, like just your presence isn't good enough. It comes off as a bribe for sex. It's weak as shit.

This entire paragraph reads like gamey, forced jargon.
In my defence, that's something I reed on RS's guide to texting on this forum:

The “Us” mentality
You’ve probably heard about this but under a different name. This is one of the most powerful ways of creating attraction with a girl. Have a fantasy together, it doesn’t have to be realistic. Tell her how you’re gonna steal the BMW across the street, drive together to Mexico and dance to the Mariachi playing at midnight. Her imagination is your best friend. It will do the rest. You just have to plant the seed.
Don’t think of a pink elephant. What did you just do? Yeah, you get the point.
Amp up the sexuality once she plays along, it’s the perfect opportunity.[/quote]



Quote:
Quote:
Her: "Aren't you odd?" (odd isn't really the best translation of the italian word, it can also mean that you're odd in a positive way and make her laugh"
hahhaha aren't you her cute little retarded squirrel. What she thinks: "He's goofy and gives me attention, haha. I like attention".


you don't want her texting that you're odd. Here's what you want her to text you, and it's the only thing that means a damn thing:

Her: What are you doing right now?
Why are you excluding that she did?

She texted me more than once "What are you doing right now?".

I would never contact her if she never initiated conversations as well. (and just to add, she contacted me again yesterday, she initiated the conversation, after I wrote the initial post reiterating that if she's free she would really like to this expo). I hate looking needy.
Quote:

There's still hope. Break off contact with her and stop trying so hard. Only a FEW texts back and forth. You are way over invested at this point. All communication should lead towards a meet up, nothing less. Make sure your texts are shorter than hers. Respond to her as if you have three women in your bed right then and there.

"Cool"

"Alright"

"Sweet"

"sounds good"


You sound like a bright guy, but things need to be simplified.
Thank you, I agree. :)
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