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Great online dating... terrible real life dating
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Author:  ricadams1010 [ Mon Jul 25, 2016 9:20 pm ]
Post subject:  Great online dating... terrible real life dating
Hi guys,

I am here after trying my luck with online dating for almost last two years. So here's the story: I have pretty much perfected my online dating game. I have a special photo (of me only, sideways with sunglasses), which gets fair number of matches, and I know exactly what to say to get their number and go on a date. So far so good.

But, the problem is that when I meet them in real life and if they are reasonably attractive, nothing happens. I do end up hooking sometimes with girls which are below average (6-7, may be 7.5 sometimes), but nothing ever happens with anyone who I am actually attracted to.

After realizing this, and to save time (I have a tough job), I now started sending more photos of mine the moment I get the contact details. And, almost always, from attractive girls I hear "sorry not my type" and then I never get to see them again. I still know that I can go on a date with them, if I don't send them photos..but then I just end up wasting my time and money.

Now, here's my question: What should I do ? I have dated enough unattractive girls now, and I think for me to have a real relationship I need to find someone I am at least reasonably attracted to.

Are really looks that important (I see the cliche when I ask this, since I care about looks so much) ? Or, is it only in online dating ? I am indian living in a european country, 5ft7in, balding and not very athletic, so I am definitely not an attractive guy. Although, I am still surprised I managed to go on like 100's of dates in last two years and hook up with at least 15-20 girls(all online, though none really attractive).

Should I quit online dating, and start building up my confidence in real life first ?

Please help ! I really need some help here, I think all this rejection has started to hurt my self-esteem like crazy :(

cheers,
Ric
Author:  Dragula [ Tue Jul 26, 2016 12:07 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Great online dating... terrible real life dating
Looks are half the battle, especially with online game
Quote:
I am indian living in a european country, 5ft7in, balding and not very athletic, so I am definitely not an attractive guy.
You have said that you're not attractive? So why not focus on that?

- Balding? There are numerous solutions. Transplants, Scalp micro pigmentations, medication etc tonNes of optionS for you. You can simply shave your head and rock the skinhead look instead of walking around being a 'balding man'.

- 5ft 7 - Average height, not the worst to be fair, some boots should help a little

- Not very athletic? Hit the gym hard and get in shape?

- Not an attractive guy? Well, work on it?! That is why we're here...?


I am pretty sure you're using shitty dating websites like Match.com that you pay and get a lot of dates, but the women are looking for their soul mates and are much more selective thus no results?
Author:  DJ_Z [ Tue Jul 26, 2016 12:20 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Great online dating... terrible real life dating
Your height is irrelevant.
Author:  bartm [ Tue Jul 26, 2016 3:38 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Great online dating... terrible real life dating
Quote:
Your height is irrelevant.
height is actually highly relevant in ONLINE because 99% of the girls will never even see him since they have set their filters to show only 6'5" and above (ok maybe that's an exaggeration but you get the point)
Author:  Dragula [ Tue Jul 26, 2016 3:39 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Great online dating... terrible real life dating
Quote:
Quote:
Your height is irrelevant.
height is actually highly relevant in ONLINE because 99% of the girls will never even see him since they have set their filters to show only 6'5" and above (ok maybe that's an exaggeration but you get the point)
I agree a little. There is no setting to limit height on Tinder which is probably now responsible for 80% of online dating fuckery happenings

However, 5ft 7" isn't a height where it's a real issue that affects results.
Author:  Autoregressive [ Tue Jul 26, 2016 3:57 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Great online dating... terrible real life dating
Yup, height is basically a problem when girls can 'option shop' online.

In real life, it doesn't mean squat unless you're like 5' tall and stick out like a sore thumb (or rather, you don't!)

Attractiveness research suggests other traits attract women more, and so do surveys of women themselves regarding male physical traits which they find attractive.
Author:  ricadams1010 [ Tue Jul 26, 2016 6:34 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Great online dating... terrible real life dating
Thanks for the replies guys, I really appreciate, but I think I still didn't get my answer. So, let me clarify a few things and ask again:

1. I use tinder and not any of the paid sites (I do have a paid account on tinder though, it really helps).
2. It's actually not about height, because they can't see that from the photo and I don't tell them unless they ask.
3. It's not about the game, because they are all laughing and talking and super-interested until I send my photo.
4. It's mainly about the hair + face... as I hear "it's not their type".

I will change my looks, point taken...I am going for some hair replacement consultation and going to lose weight.

But my questions are wrt how to improve my game:
1. Should I not send my photos before I meet them ? I am pretty good at evading that question, but that sometimes lead to very disappointing dates which are a waste of time :/
2. Should I improve my real-life game first (I have no real game, all my dates are through tinder).
3. Should I start approaching girls in real life, build up my confidence and then get back to tinder ?
Author:  Dragula [ Tue Jul 26, 2016 6:47 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Great online dating... terrible real life dating
Quote:
Thanks for the replies guys, I really appreciate, but I think I still didn't get my answer. So, let me clarify a few things and ask again:

1. I use tinder and not any of the paid sites (I do have a paid account on tinder though, it really helps).
2. It's actually not about height, because they can't see that from the photo and I don't tell them unless they ask.
3. It's not about the game, because they are all laughing and talking and super-interested until I send my photo.
4. It's mainly about the hair + face... as I hear "it's not their type".

I will change my looks, point taken...I am going for some hair replacement consultation and going to lose weight.

But my questions are wrt how to improve my game:
1. Should I not send my photos before I meet them ? I am pretty good at evading that question, but that sometimes lead to very disappointing dates which are a waste of time :/
2. Should I improve my real-life game first (I have no real game, all my dates are through tinder).
3. Should I start approaching girls in real life, build up my confidence and then get back to tinder ?
This is your problem. You are using vague pics into fooling girls into meeting you. You are hiding your flaws. Your best bet is to be very transparent with pics of who you are.

I see a lot of girls do this with faceless pics and I just know they are hiding their flaws so I swipe away. I would rather not meet these women than waste my time like that. Instead, I would focus on the actual reasons why they don't want to fuck you.

If you really are an unattractive man. Then that is who they will meet. Hence my suggestion of improving your fundamentals.

Game is the last thing you should be working on. I get people PMing why their Tinder doesn't work and then when they send me their profile, they are just grotesque images of out of shape, dressed poorly people and yet they expect some really smooth line will enable the girl to jump om their dick

Doesn't work like that, bro. Become attractive and get above average results. You really should focus on what i call 'offline game' lol. The real world is much more personal, harsh and more importantly, you get direct feedback from the ladies. Doing so will give you the motivation that you need to get your shit togther.

If you are creeping girls out approaching them, then you can bet your ass a lot of girls will be swiping away from you.

This is isn't a game issue. This is a massive lifestyle of change for you. It's time to evolve from unattractive into attractive.

-Get your hair sorted
-Get in shape
-Stop eating junk
-Dress better
-Get your pics nailed
-Career

PM me this magic pic of yours, you got me curious.

Master offline and then your online becomes a doddle. I have said this so many times on this forum.
Author:  Arch Stanton [ Tue Jul 26, 2016 7:04 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Great online dating... terrible real life dating
Really good advice.

I had to face reality and shave my head. It looks like Statham's, with a bit of hair but not much. It's way better than being the guy trying to cover up balding.

Actually, an extremely hot woman asked me to do it...a cross between a 50's Hollywood starlet and a porn star. She was right. I still have a thing for her too, God knows why after all this time. She still turns my head and gets me nervous, the only woman who does that.

Also cut carbs. It's the one thing that makes older men all look the same.
Author:  R.C [ Tue Jul 26, 2016 7:35 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Great online dating... terrible real life dating
Halp guys. I'm fat and balding and hot girls don't want that.


Come on man. What the hell. Join a gym. Shave your head. Get a better haircut. Dress better.
Author:  Eddie Fews [ Tue Jul 26, 2016 11:54 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Great online dating... terrible real life dating
Quote:

Should I quit online dating, and start building up my confidence in real life first ?

Seems like subconsciously you already know what the issue is. You have yet to get out the house and put in the work necessary to build yourself and your character into someone that women are actually going to respect. Deleting your online accounts and just getting go out the house doing that ( if you even have the will) would be the way to go.

Guys always make it seem like getting a girl on a date is doing something. I'd go on a lot more dates too if women were messaging me online everyday asking to buy me dinner and to buy me drinks. Who doesn't want free food?

And yes looks are important to a degree, but whats more important is how you feel about yourself. I always say that a woman cares more about what you think of yourself than she does about what she thinks of you, and she cares more about what you think of her, than what she thinks of you. When you learn how to use those two things to your advantage, you'll find yourself becoming a lot more successful with them.
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