How do you feel about continually seeing her in the gym?

Do I just say it plainly: I do not want you trying to talk to me or about me to my mum? Do I need to state a reason?

...

In case you wonder why: there was a lie and a dude involved around our break up and I have no tolerance for liars. I try to seeking myself with people who make me positive and happy - she doesn't clearly.

Anger and bitterness are useless emotions... won't help anybody. Put yourself back in a positive frame (that doesn't mean that you have to forgive her -- you don't).

Something like "I don't want to talk to you, and stop calling my family." should get the message across. You don't need to justify your decisions. Don't fight -- just let it go and move on -- and if she contests, walk away. Fighting won't make you feel better, because whatever happened already happened -- it's history -- and fighting won't change it and will just make you miserable.

Why the hell is she trying to talk to me knowing I have no interest in dealing with her and I told her I didn't like her anymore. What does this kind of behaviour even stand for?

Do I just say it plainly: I do not want you trying to talk to me or about me to my mum? Do I need to state a reason?



At this stage - indifferent or frustrated. Every time I have to deal with her or as much as say hi it makes me fairly angry. Even now, answering your question I feel irritation having to think about her. In case you wonder why: there was a lie and a dude involved around our break up and I have no tolerance for liars. I try to seeking myself with people who make me positive and happy - she doesn't clearly.

Not that I'm saying that it's right that she's contacting your family because I hate that kind of stuff, but why are you so hostile when it comes to her?

You've got some strong secondary emotions regarding her.

I suggest you think about switching gyms. This isn't about ego, rather its about your healing. So long as you're running into her on the regular the attachment wound will take a lot longer to heal. I've been in a similar situation, leaving the gym was the best thing I'd done (though she eventually found other ways to make contact).

Let her have that gym who cares, this is about your own health and moving forward not 'right' or 'wrong'.

Not helpful.

Do you want something with her again? Is she a healthy person to be involved with, or a headwind in your life?

Anger is a secondary emotion, often times masking sadness, for example, which is more of a primary feeling.

Her having incidental contact is a way to keep the attachment alive. It doesnt mean you two are capable of having a health relationship, or that she necessarily wants one per se.

Likely you were the pursuer and she was the withdrawer in the relationship, if i went solely on a hunch.

Sounds to me you want to know what her motives are.

It very well could be the case of sadness creeping underneath it all. She's not a healthy person to be with, for me anyway. Wouldn't want to go back.

Yes I'd love to know what her motives are. I can live without knowing at the same time, as long as she just leaves me alone and I can keep on enjoying my life without this negative influence. Maybe one day I could treat her with less hostility but I don't see it happening anytime soon.

I'd say she was the pursuer and I was the withdrawer for the most part of the relationship. When we broke up it was the other way around though.