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| Is This Fixable? https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=198079 |
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| Author: | MagicB [ Tue Jul 12, 2016 5:15 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Is This Fixable? |
OK, so i'm usually on point with my game, it's hardly ever that a girl can get me mad and even if they do, they would never know but today i slipped up. I went on a date with a girl about a week and a half ago, went incredibly, real connection, real energy, good vibe, kiss close. Exchanged texts for a few days afterwards, building up the attraction some more. Then out of the blue she went cold on me, left me hanging for 6 hours sometimes although i would never text twice in a row and always waited however long for her to text back before i sent another one. So after a week of going cold, i sent a voicenote saying along the lines of: "For whatever reason you've distanced yourself, so handle what you need to handle, do what you need to do, do you" basically. Then she text me back explaining how she was genuinely busy that week and that i "need to chill". Like a bull to a red flag i told her "it was nice to meet you" and we had a little back and forth argument via text. So after i cooled down i sent her another voicenote and said all i was trying to do was free her from any obligation to continue to carry this on and that i felt she disrespected me when she told me to chill (i hate that) and apologised for my part. She's been asking questions since about why i said this and that and i've just been de escalating it saying lets draw a line and move on and she responded with "i get it, it's cool" So i know my mistakes here, i lost my composure and gave in to my temper instead of playing it cool like i had to this point. I've yet to reply to her 'i get it it's cool" as i couldn't quite understand if it was said dismissively or understandingly. I do really like this girl and would like to figure this out but i'm not above walking and taking the L equally. My question is, how would you fix this? |
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| Author: | n2thevoid [ Tue Jul 12, 2016 5:22 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Is This Fixable? |
You'd built expectations, and when you weren't getting the attention you'd wanted you got reactive. Ya, that was a bit of a fuck-up, but the fact she'd even responded doesn't necessarily mean all is lost. Its your thinking that fucked up you - "6 hours? She's playing hard to get or simply not interested Fuck her!" and you got bent out of shape. Always assume the best "oh she's busy, so am i we'll touch base at some later point" mentality. That said its quite evident you're invested in her, so you know what the typical advice will be I won't even bother dispensing it. You went on A DATE with this girl, she's not your girlfriend and to be acting like this with someone so new is a bit disconcerting to be honest. I'd hit the reset on that shit ASAP and get her out again. If she does agree, you really need to keep yourself in check. |
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| Author: | Heywood Jablowme [ Tue Jul 12, 2016 5:24 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Is This Fixable? |
Quote:
My question is, how would you fix this?
By dropping the whole hot mess. There is nothing to gain by keeping a shit show on center stage. Your next message should be light, flirty, sexually charged, and FUCKING FUN! Pull your lip back in, square up your shoulders, and move the fuck on. |
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| Author: | ColaGuy [ Tue Jul 12, 2016 5:44 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Is This Fixable? |
Personally i'd just ask her out again this weekend, it's kinda like admitting you were in the wrong without actually saying it... win win |
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| Author: | nr32 [ Tue Jul 12, 2016 6:05 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Is This Fixable? |
You got needy. I second the others here. |
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| Author: | n2thevoid [ Tue Jul 12, 2016 6:29 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Is This Fixable? |
Never tango with a woman at the emotional level, she'll pull some mind ju jutsu shit on you fast. Women, generally speaking, learn to handle tension a lot better than men. Most of them have been acculturated from a ripe age to dispense of their enemies in insidious, behind-the-scenes ways, some of them are quite skilled at disrupting relationships (this is called relational abuse); whereas males typically engage in more overt forms of 'getting even'. Women (again, generally speaking) are far better at understanding the nuances of human behavior. They read-between-the-lines, and they've learned to do this mostly because of the cultural image imposed of them of having a docile nature (think Madonna/Whore Complex). She knows you got bent out of shape, that much is obvious. And she knows you're already invested. The reason why women find this so off-putting is because they need to the feel the security afforded by the male when he's in his masculine. She may want to feel his tenderness (him being in his feminine) at times, but more often than not if she's a woman very much in her feminine she needs that contrasting energy to feel secure. She needs that security so she can freely wrest in her feminine; this is where like a child free to explore its environment knowing its mother is near (or will return) because it has a secure base to do so, rather than getting caught up in angst of having an unreliable caregiver. I am using this as an analogy, and am in now way infantliziing women so don't misconstrue my example and treat women in such a manner, it won't go over well. David Deida does a great job of explaining Jungian-derived masculine and feminine energies. Think of the feminine as being this wild, formidable energy. It's free flowing, creative, its awe inspiring in its power. Try to contain it u'll get swept-up in its undertow. Rather, as the masculine (when you're in your masculine, that is) you are the perfect compliment to feminine energy - the 'yin' to the 'yang' if you will. Masculine energy provides the CHANNEL for the free flowing, fluid and directionless energy of the feminine. This is why when you're sitting in your masculine, women are POWERFULLY attracted to your presence. This is where sometimes the woman will confide to her girlfriends "I can't explain it but I am insanely drawn to him" - that animal magnetism or "I don't know what it is about him, but I just lose all sense of control around him!" energy. When you're in your masculine she is free to bask in her feminine and FEEL sexy in your presence, and she's free to explore and push the boundaries of her sexuality in your presence. Women WANT to be pursued by men they FEEL desirable towards. Remove the feeling of desirability, then the pursuing just becomes unwanted, or worse yet, creepy. |
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| Author: | MagicB [ Tue Jul 12, 2016 7:01 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Is This Fixable? |
Appreciate the replies, just sent her a light, fun text and she responded, gonna leave it a couple days then call her and tell her were going out on the weekend. I'd agree im probably more invested than i would normally be, but i have no problem letting go either, it's one of those starting what i finished type of things, i wanna turn this L to a W for me. |
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