Hey PUAs,
a couple of days ago I became aware of a bit of a problem and even though I have put quite the thought in it, I am unable to find a good solution myself. So I hope you can help me on this one:
So a couple of weeks ago I was out with a some friends. At the bar we met people –mostly younger girls - one of my friends (I’ll call him A for this) know. We sat together, drank a bit, conversations started rolling, but the group was almost split in half. One half centered around A, the other half was more homogenous. A and me were somewhere in the middle of the table and even though I talked mainly to the others, as time went, I started getting involved in As group aswell. Now shortly after that started, the topic somehow gets to ‚being late‘ and A completely gets at me for this (admittedly I am late alot, but lets put this aside for this). Additionally he mentions something we had been fighting over the day before, calls it a complete ‚bitchmove‘ (which it was not) on my side and then moves on.
Now usually this wouldn’t bother me at all – A is just a really cocky guy and we’re bantering all the time. Also we’re not really competitors since I have a GF and atleast at said day I was completely not into flirting. Even a while ago, when I was still single, we never really competed and when he rarely did try to AMOG me, I just would just crowd him out of the set – which is obviously not my interest at all at the moment. So usually I would just react by rolling my eyes and ignoring him, but this time it was just too much for my taste.
When I realized this and really started thinking about this, I noticed a pattern that I don’t like at all. As I already mentioned, A is really cocky, he LOVES C&F and uses it all the fucking time and with friends that’s absolutely ok. But as soon as women start getting involved in a conversation, basically everything he says becomes C&F (not kidding). It comes down to patter after patter after patter (hope that’s the right word for it)… everyone gets one – and often times at the expense of these to impress/entertain girls. People laugh at it and I’m quite sure he isn’t putting them down on purpose, but I definitely feel like it’s giving conversations a subliminal bad vibe where everyone but the girls are just like ‚and it’s on again *rolls eyes*‘. They are not homgenous and entirely fun, it just becomes pure banter.
Now I’m definitely exaggerating a bit here – A is most definitely a fun guy to be around and one of my best friends and maybe it’s just me growing up to become an angry grandpa, but atleast I don’t like this ‚pure C&F as soon as chicks are around‘ anymore, because it is excluding people and it simply gets fucking boring.
So I’m asking you: How do you/would you deal with a friend that preemptively AMOGs his own friends in a social environment where girls are around? (And how would you have reacted in the exakt situation I descirbed)
I did ignore it at the time and feel like that’s generally a got AMOG-destoryer, but here I feel like this came off as ‚he got ya‘ and responding with C&F is not effective as I want to decrease the amount off C&F.
Also how is it possible to stop this pure C&F/banter bullshit that is just tiring and excluding people instead of having a fun, homogenous, including and abit more serious conversation?
I hope my German-English is understandable and I look forward to a constructiv discussion.
Greeting
Oldspeak