PUA Forum :: Guy at work - is he interested? (Female Question)

So a few of my other coworkers and I were going to dinner tonight, so I spontaneously contacted the guy and said, hey we're going to dinner, would you like to come. It was totally last minute but he said yes, and he came to dinner, but he did not join us afterwards for drinks because he had plans already

so i know that's not coffee and I didn't get to talk to him one-on-one, and it was still a little awkward, but I don't know, i am proud of myself for just doing it. i felt more comfortable with the group of people.

Now you guys need to help me not worry about what he must be thinking about my asking him. I remember in the past, i would always fret after reaching out to a guy I was interested in, worried about what they might be thinking, and then i'd always attempt to take it back, but of course i am sure it was obvious to the guy.

So that showed my interest right?
and what do you guys think about him contacting me that one time to ask me to give him a ride? do you think he was interested?

PS It would be funny if he were a member of this forum lol!

Author:	MieleGirl [ Fri Jun 03, 2016 3:33 am ]
Post subject:	Guy at work - is he interested? (Female Question)
There's this guy at work who sometimes I wonder if he is interested. The problem is he comes off a little shy. At the very least i'd like to make things less awkward between us. When I first met him we hung out pretty much all night and got to know each other. I thought he was a cool, nice guy. But he works in a different department so I don't see him on a daily basis. But unfortunately almost every interaction after that has been rather awkward. I am shy too and I don't act all girly and smily like other girls. I'm told i am very hard to read. So i am sure a lot of this is my fault. but it's just like REALLY awkward between us. For instance, he'll say how's it going, and i'll say good! and he didnt hear me, so he'd get awkward and be like, "Molly, I said HOW's IT GOING." i said, i know, I heard you. Anyways, one time he texted me asking if I could give him a ride to our corporate softball game. he didn't say there was something wrong with his car or the reason he needed me to drive him - as opposed to one of our many other coworkers. Unfortunately i wasn't going to the game that day. given the awkwardness i am sort of thinking he's not that interested. and the fact that he hasn't asked me out! But if he IS interested, what are some ways i can encourage him to ask me out. I almost think that he might be too shy for me - two shy people together - that might be a bad idea. We might both need super confident partners. but at least i wish it wasn't so AWKWARD between us! He seems so unsure of himself. Our first night where he and i hung out all night was GREAT. It was very natural and comfortable. Any advice for how to get that again? And PS, is it ok that I am asking this question on this board? i am going to answer some questions to give a female perspective.

Author:	JackZero [ Fri Jun 03, 2016 3:41 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Guy at work - is he interested? (Female Question)
Sometimes guys, especially the new ones on this board, need a kick in the ass to get them to talk to a woman. They'll notice every type of indicators sent by the woman but will still second guess it. Try asking him if he's shy and that may be the kick he needs without you having to become direct. You can ask your questions here...but we can't even get some of these guys to approach a woman and we give instructions on how to do it.

Author:	n2thevoid [ Fri Jun 03, 2016 3:47 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Guy at work - is he interested? (Female Question)
Ask him out for coffee. You can be bolder and tell him you're interested in getting to know him better seriously you're both adults. If he's still going act coy, or not interested then you have your answer.

Author:	R.C [ Fri Jun 03, 2016 7:34 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Guy at work - is he interested? (Female Question)
Either of what JZ or N2 said would be good. Some guys just don't have it in them to take the initiative. Not saying it applies to him. It may or may not, but the thing is sometimes they need that kick. Also, try smiling once in a while, like the 'other girls' do. It's highly attractive and if that doesn't give him a clue, I fear nothing will.

Author:	kidfromcro [ Fri Jun 03, 2016 8:59 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Guy at work - is he interested? (Female Question)
don't stress yourself over it,try initiating conversation from time to time,if you wait for him to do it there is a good chance he wont do it at all,give him a little bit of chasing,smile,if he doesn't react to that just let go,shy guys usually takes a lot more to step up and they wont unless they have enough "proof" you like them,fear of something going wrong instead of going right

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Author:	Heywood Jablowme [ Fri Jun 03, 2016 2:09 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Guy at work - is he interested? (Female Question)
Do a sexy selfie in something reveling, and ask his opinion on it.

Author:	Chief [ Fri Jun 03, 2016 9:54 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Guy at work - is he interested? (Female Question)
Quote: I almost think that he might be too shy for me - two shy people together - that might be a bad idea. We might both need super confident partners. but at least i wish it wasn't so AWKWARD between us! He seems so unsure of himself. Our first night where he and i hung out all night was GREAT. It was very natural and comfortable. Any advice for how to get that again? You kids need some alcohol. Disclaimer to anyone else reading this: Don't use alcohol as a confidence crutch. The dude that MieleGirl's talking about isn't here to better himself, but YOU are. Alcohol will be a very decent short-term solution to MieleGirl's current issue, but for YOU it's just going to make things worse for your game in the long run. Quote: is it ok that I am asking this question on this board? Yes.

Author:	Stoliar [ Sat Jun 04, 2016 12:58 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Guy at work - is he interested? (Female Question)
Quote: given the awkwardness i am sort of thinking he's not that interested. and the fact that he hasn't asked me out! A shy guy will actually put a lot of efforts to hide his interest, if any. So rather than looking for cues, assume that he is interested, and go for him. I second people telling you to ask him out for coffee. Other things I've heard from PUA working for women: ask him to help you for something (giving you a ride, moving big objects, stuff like that); appeal to his male instinct by having him imagining you naked (a subtle way to do so: "I always listen to that podcast during my morning shower, and they were saying..."). And don't make a fixation on this guy. If it doesn't work, just move on.

Author:	n2thevoid [ Sat Jun 04, 2016 2:15 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Guy at work - is he interested? (Female Question)
Don't use alcohol, just ask him out if he's interested he'll be more than flattered and be receptive.

Author:	Mr. Assertive [ Sun Jun 05, 2016 1:44 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Guy at work - is he interested? (Female Question)
Dude needs some work. Ah well. What can you do, his mindset is all fucked up.

Author:	MieleGirl [ Sun Jun 05, 2016 3:17 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Guy at work - is he interested? (Female Question)
So a few of my other coworkers and I were going to dinner tonight, so I spontaneously contacted the guy and said, hey we're going to dinner, would you like to come. It was totally last minute but he said yes, and he came to dinner, but he did not join us afterwards for drinks because he had plans already so i know that's not coffee and I didn't get to talk to him one-on-one, and it was still a little awkward, but I don't know, i am proud of myself for just doing it. i felt more comfortable with the group of people. Now you guys need to help me not worry about what he must be thinking about my asking him. I remember in the past, i would always fret after reaching out to a guy I was interested in, worried about what they might be thinking, and then i'd always attempt to take it back, but of course i am sure it was obvious to the guy. So that showed my interest right? and what do you guys think about him contacting me that one time to ask me to give him a ride? do you think he was interested? PS It would be funny if he were a member of this forum lol!

Author:	Mr. Assertive [ Sun Jun 05, 2016 3:38 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Guy at work - is he interested? (Female Question)
I think you have been much more than what is required of you as a woman. You can't be any more blatant. You asked him out. He has to be a big boy and see the signs. Flirt with him overtly and see what that triggers in him. Either he gets nervous (might like you, but is uncomfortable expressing it) or he will be repelled ( not interesteD). As a woman, you are equipped to understand body language far better than men. Naturally women are good at this.

Author:	kidfromcro [ Sun Jun 05, 2016 10:27 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Guy at work - is he interested? (Female Question)
here is a good opener for you if you do decide to contact him,ask him is he castrated ,o common it"s so fucking obvious,some guys just cant or wont see it,it cant be more clear then that,you call him out,he goes out,leaves a soon as possible,has plans which may or may not be true,you"we put yourself out there,clear interest,you can contact him and ask him out,but that"s as far as it goes,don't chase a cold man,it"s not worth it,just re read what you wrote and you wont worry what he thinks

Author:	Stoliar [ Sun Jun 05, 2016 1:09 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Guy at work - is he interested? (Female Question)
Good for you for starting being proactive. But you know that was only a very small step. The objective is to get to talk to him and reignite the connection you had during that night. So stop worrying about what he thinks, whether what you did showed interest or whatnot. YOU WILL NEVER KNOW. And ask him for a coffee. Or better, some activity like a concert or a fair or something else, and say you just don't want to go there alone.

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Author:	n2thevoid [ Sun Jun 05, 2016 6:04 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Guy at work - is he interested? (Female Question)
Quote: So a few of my other coworkers and I were going to dinner tonight, so I spontaneously contacted the guy and said, hey we're going to dinner, would you like to come. It was totally last minute but he said yes, and he came to dinner, but he did not join us afterwards for drinks because he had plans already so i know that's not coffee and I didn't get to talk to him one-on-one, and it was still a little awkward, but I don't know, i am proud of myself for just doing it. i felt more comfortable with the group of people. Now you guys need to help me not worry about what he must be thinking about my asking him. I remember in the past, i would always fret after reaching out to a guy I was interested in, worried about what they might be thinking, and then i'd always attempt to take it back, but of course i am sure it was obvious to the guy. So that showed my interest right? and what do you guys think about him contacting me that one time to ask me to give him a ride? do you think he was interested? PS It would be funny if he were a member of this forum lol! Here's the thing. You're afraid of rejection, and each time you remain within the confines of what your mind tells you not to do, you play it safe. Fine if you want to lead a boring, uneventful mundane existence like most other people. Not fine if you don't want to be among the status quo, or a dandelion in the wind. U'll never be a Neo if you allow fear to rule your life. Stick your neck out, be bold, dare to be awkward for your sake alone. After all, what's the worst that can happen? He's not interested. Well, at least you know rather than letting this little charade continue, not to mention like most people u'll realize rejection was no big deal at all and in fact you've gained the courage to SPEAK your intentions which I think is the most noble thing of all, the fact the person says "yes" or "no" to your advances becomes almost trivial.