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She flaked twice. Punish?
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Author:  Radioh3ad [ Thu May 19, 2016 8:21 pm ]
Post subject:  She flaked twice. Punish?

Hey guys, so there's this girl I know for almost a year, maybe. And she was more of a FWB, situation and we started hanging out again, we had a really great time and it made us a bit closer. So, I've been trying to set up a date with her and she flaked twice right now, saying today, "This week is no good".

It's important to keep my power here and the first time I said, no worries and just talked normally. But I'm using this as an example to learn more cause girls rarely flake on me. So, I haven't responded yet, I'm thinking of not responding at all, it reminds me of the punish and reward factor. Or I could always make a light hearted joke and find out when she's free. What do you think

Author:  JackZero [ Thu May 19, 2016 8:28 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: She flaked twice. Punish?

Or you can go the more direct route. Just by telling her that your time is valuable and when you make plans with her, only a real emergency should cause her to break them.

Punishing her doesn't do anything in the long run. Kids get punished all of the time and they just figure out ways to not get caught. Making a joke out of it is just a way of protecting your feelings and is pretty weak when it comes to dealing with things that you don't like. If you don't show that you take it seriously, then she has no reason to take it seriously.

Author:  n2thevoid [ Thu May 19, 2016 8:29 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: She flaked twice. Punish?

"No worries" = "please continue using me as a door matt, by all means...I'm too much of a wuss to speak on my needs directly"

Author:  Heywood Jablowme [ Thu May 19, 2016 8:29 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: She flaked twice. Punish?

How about just not care. "Whatever."

Author:  neo87 [ Thu May 19, 2016 8:30 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: She flaked twice. Punish?

How did she flake? It sounds to me like she just said she was busy when you asked her as opposed to standing you up... But I don't know

Author:  Radioh3ad [ Thu May 19, 2016 8:52 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: She flaked twice. Punish?

Thanks for your reply gents. I don't really want to come across as reactive. It's not something I take personally yet at the same time like Jack said time is not to be wasted.

So, for more info on the situation like neo asked, she said today should work she'd let me know. I texted her and she replied with "This week doesn't work sorry"

So, I can go with "I understand. My time is valuable, I have a hectic schedule. So if we agree on a day only a real emergency should prevent us from hanging out"

Also, by joke I meant me teasing her.

After that, would you recommend me rescheduling something with her next week?

Author:  JackZero [ Thu May 19, 2016 9:04 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: She flaked twice. Punish?

I was thinking that she flaked on set plans. Don't go lecturing her on emergencies if she didn't break set plans.

Author:  Radioh3ad [ Thu May 19, 2016 9:12 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: She flaked twice. Punish?

I get it. That's why I wasn't so aggressive. Haha. But it's a good reminder Jack.

What do you think about. "I understand. I don't have a lot of time lately, so let's set a day and agree on it. How's X day?"

Author:  JackZero [ Thu May 19, 2016 9:16 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: She flaked twice. Punish?

Quote:
I get it. That's why I wasn't so aggressive. Haha. But it's a good reminder Jack.

What do you think about. "I understand. I don't have a lot of time lately, so let's set a day and agree on it. How's X day?"
Or just ask her when she's free. I don't like the idea of relating to her not having the time for you. That's just me and maybe it doesn't even matter.

Author:  Radioh3ad [ Thu May 19, 2016 10:29 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: She flaked twice. Punish?

Ya, that's what I was originally going to go with.
"Alight, let's pick a day that works got us both. When are you free?

She also seen that I didn't text her back immediately and she said "I LOST MY BLACK LIPSTICK ; ( ; ( ; ( "

Author:  jaypi [ Fri May 20, 2016 12:46 am ]
Post subject:  Re: She flaked twice. Punish?

What's her reason for flaking? How did you set up the date?

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