" Don't tell me that someone was talking shit about me, tell me why they feel comfortable telling you. " - I forgot who said it, but I never forgot it.

Sounds like you need to check your girl.

What should I say to her? I had a reputation of being a player at that workplace and the two of them knew each other back then. My gf hated this lady too and still does. But she kinda asks her "are you still dating dorkley?" then talks smack. My girl kinda freezes up when people confront her. Since then I've dated this girl for a while. What if she thought I was a player before and now she is loyal to me?

Are you essentially saying why isn't she sticking up for me?

I think what E is referring to is why your girl hasn't thrown up boundaries to this person who clearly has none.

The more attention you give this person the worse off things will become. If you truly aren't the person she's portraying you as then the worst thing you can do is protest and give credence to what she's saying.

It's a common tactic, and a lot of women use it. "You're MEAN!" for example. The more you fight this characterization the more you play into the person's frame and devalue yourself.