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Is going out to bars alone a bad idea?
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Author:  Ricardo999 [ Fri Mar 25, 2016 8:17 pm ]
Post subject:  Is going out to bars alone a bad idea?
I ask this because I'm ready/in the right frame of mind to meet someone, but being 45 I can't always get friends out every week......I'm in good shape, and dress smart. But a couple of weeks ago out on a date, and in a couple of the venues I went to this guy was on his own. I noticed he was trying to chat to a few random girls but not doing very well. (including my date when I went to the mens room), I watched him approach a group of girls and when he left I could see their reaction/body lanquage was very negative.

So.....is it overall a bad idea? Realistically women will think "look at that guy on his own, I hope he doesn't latch onto me".
Author:  qlds [ Fri Mar 25, 2016 9:38 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Is going out to bars alone a bad idea?
I think it all depends on how you approach.
If its a bar, more chill area with alot of seating sets maby you should try to just be social and a cool guy.
Add value to their conversation and make small talk to everyone.

You'd like to get so integrated in to a set that it looks like you're one in the gang!
Then you have your friends there and are free to roam around.
You can allways fall back on your new friends at that table during the night if they're still there.

The guy you're describing is going up with too much intent.
They know what he's after and that he's desperate.

Check out mysterys techniques on "body rocking". Great way to subcomunicate value and non-needyness.
Which is essentially what will them want you to stick around.

If you read up on pickup alot of people talk about "spam approaching" and just getting out there.
But this is reserved for new people who have approach anxiety and a hard time talking to people at all.

I could easily stand by the bar looking at my phone and sip on a drink and "snipe" approach people walking by.
Becaus I dont need to amp myself up.
Which could be what this guy was doing.
Author:  LukasBohr [ Fri Mar 25, 2016 11:41 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Is going out to bars alone a bad idea?
When I started, I was just going out alone (because I didn't want my to see me get rejected over and over. I know, it's stupid). But going out twice a week alone resulted in a good resilience and frame. You will suffer more than if you were with your friends, but the result of the sacrifice is better.
Author:  Furiox [ Sat Mar 26, 2016 9:11 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Is going out to bars alone a bad idea?
When i go out, there is this one guy that is always by himself, he sticks out as he does not really interact with people around him, he kinda stands in the middle near groups hoping to be asked a question or something, then he must got some default line of my friends stood me up but as i go there a lot i never see him with friends so if a girl also goes there a lot his value will be very low by going out alone and faking the reason he is there.

So in my opinion i do think going out alone is a lot harder to pickup girls but if you do go out alone i would suggest to bounce venues after you had some fails and staying in the right mindset would be hard for me at least as i think going out alone is no fun and kinda sad in my opinion although i never did it so who am i to tell.
Author:  Ricardo999 [ Sat Mar 26, 2016 9:44 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Is going out to bars alone a bad idea?
Quote:
I think it all depends on how you approach.
If its a bar, more chill area with alot of seating sets maby you should try to just be social and a cool guy.
Add value to their conversation and make small talk to everyone.

You'd like to get so integrated in to a set that it looks like you're one in the gang!
Then you have your friends there and are free to roam around.
You can allways fall back on your new friends at that table during the night if they're still there.

The guy you're describing is going up with too much intent.
They know what he's after and that he's desperate.

Check out mysterys techniques on "body rocking". Great way to subcomunicate value and non-needyness.
Which is essentially what will them want you to stick around.

If you read up on pickup alot of people talk about "spam approaching" and just getting out there.
But this is reserved for new people who have approach anxiety and a hard time talking to people at all.

I could easily stand by the bar looking at my phone and sip on a drink and "snipe" approach people walking by.
Becaus I dont need to amp myself up.
Which could be what this guy was doing.
Good post, you make a lot of good points. Your points about that guy are correct. I will check out mysterys technique, but I will say I don't have approach anxiety.....my problem is getting a decent social life. I'm 45, and with my bouncer days behind me.
Author:  dicemaster [ Sun Mar 27, 2016 8:52 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Is going out to bars alone a bad idea?
it couls impeove your game. Try to pick erasmus parties, it will increase your chances.
Author:  Arch Stanton [ Mon Mar 28, 2016 1:08 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Is going out to bars alone a bad idea?
I prefer to go to the bars alone. I'm 40, keep in very good shape (emphasis on weight training) and follow a low carb diet. I do not wear sneakers or shorts, nor sports team sweatshirts or hats. I also don't wear suits or club outfits.

I hook up with 20-somethings on a regular basis. I'm exclusive now with a gorgeous 21 year old. At least for me, not being the "frat guy" works very well. But the key is fitness and confidence. I also try to keep things positive and light as much as possible. I do not buy women drinks, and I do not compliment them. I do use sarcasm though, and brutal honesty. I find this combo to be particularly effective.

I also don't drink alcohol. I find that a lot of guys embarrass themselves, and basically eliminate themselves as my competition immediately.
Author:  chrisnos [ Mon Mar 28, 2016 3:06 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Is going out to bars alone a bad idea?
I also don't drink alcohol. I find that a lot of guys embarrass themselves, and basically eliminate themselves as my competition immediately.

I don’t really understand why you think going out to bars would be a bad idea. In your post you don’t actually indicate that you have a problem, you seemed more be saying that you are in good shape, follow a healthy low-carb diet, and you have a effective combo for talking to women.

Your problem seems to be overthinking what a woman is going to think of you. So many of these guys approach a woman without a brain cell in their head, with a beer belly, there 25 years old, and their faces covered in wrinkles from drinking so much beer, and these women hang on their every word.

So many of these guys just go up to a woman tell her she’s sexy as hell, and a woman, especially a drunk woman is just going to find that bad boy confidence incredibly sexy.

If you’re doing something that works for you, I’m not telling you to change it, but there’s always ways you can do things better. I don’t drink alcohol, smoke, or do any of that stuff either.

I’m also a big fan of brutal honesty. The one question I would have is, are you using brutal honesty as saying what you’re really thinking, or are you using it as a “technique” to shock the woman, or say something ballsy that you THINK she’s going to find attractive?

The reason I’m asking is because, if you’re saying things just because your thinking it showing you up balls, and it’s what a woman will find attractive, then it’s going to come off incongruent.

You can’t be saying your brutally honest, then trying techniques like body rocking, because if you’re being a real alpha male, and you’re using these techniques, what you lacking. If you showed your real behavior that you’re trying to compensate for?
Author:  Ricardo999 [ Mon Mar 28, 2016 1:11 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Is going out to bars alone a bad idea?
Quote:
I prefer to go to the bars alone. I'm 40, keep in very good shape (emphasis on weight training) and follow a low carb diet. I do not wear sneakers or shorts, nor sports team sweatshirts or hats. I also don't wear suits or club outfits.

I hook up with 20-somethings on a regular basis. I'm exclusive now with a gorgeous 21 year old. At least for me, not being the "frat guy" works very well. But the key is fitness and confidence. I also try to keep things positive and light as much as possible. I do not buy women drinks, and I do not compliment them. I do use sarcasm though, and brutal honesty. I find this combo to be particularly effective.

I also don't drink alcohol. I find that a lot of guys embarrass themselves, and basically eliminate themselves as my competition immediately.
Does this ever backfire on you?
Author:  Jay (Majik) [ Mon Mar 28, 2016 9:24 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Is going out to bars alone a bad idea?
You don't have to be on your own. Go up to a group of guys that look semi cool and talk about girls or sports. Make some new friends.

I'm 28 and I've got friends who are cool as fuck that are in their 40s. If you're a cool guy, there will definitely be younger guys out there who want to be your friend. Especially if you've got your shit together... You could build a mini entourage.
Author:  Arch Stanton [ Tue Mar 29, 2016 1:07 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Is going out to bars alone a bad idea?
Quote:
Does this ever backfire on you?

Yes. But I'm being me, and if the woman can't handle it, she's not my type anyway. Women will almost always appreciate honesty. They get tons of creepy guys who try to sneak their desires in flowers, favors, etc.

The girl I'm exclusive with now asked me this at a bar on our first date:

"Aren't you going to buy me a drink?"

me: "Nope. I'm a big believer in feminism and equal rights".

Her: "Good, so am I."

Me: "Let's go back to my place after this for Netflix."

Her: "Cool."
Author:  R.C [ Tue Mar 29, 2016 8:49 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Is going out to bars alone a bad idea?
Quote:
I'm 28 and I've got friends who are cool as fuck that are in their 40s. If you're a cool guy, there will definitely be younger guys out there who want to be your friend. Especially if you've got your shit together... You could build a mini entourage.
This here.
Author:  Versalis [ Mon Apr 11, 2016 4:33 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Is going out to bars alone a bad idea?
One crucial question would be: Do you think he'd have more success if he was with two other guys?

If the answer is "Probably not", then being out alone isn't really the issue. It may be a symptom of his problem, but that's not the actual problem.
Author:  Eddie Fews [ Mon Apr 11, 2016 10:17 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Is going out to bars alone a bad idea?
Have you seen a car salesman do poorly? And then have you seen another be very successful?

It is the epitome of "beta" to judge how successful you'll be at something based on how unsuccessful you've just watched someone else be. Go out and be the guy that shows everyone that it can be done. But to answer your question; their are guys that go out alone who are very successful. If I'm looking to get laid, I'd rather just go out alone. If I'm looking to have an all around good time, I'll go with friends.
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