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Recent Tinder Date Obstacles
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Author:  Jfriendlay [ Tue Mar 15, 2016 4:05 pm ]
Post subject:  Recent Tinder Date Obstacles

Recent Tinder Date Obstacles


First time posting on here, however I frequent the forums regularly and have found some valuable information. Nonetheless, I have been going through some recent Tinder date obstacles and I was looking for some needed feedback. Any feedback would be greatly appreciated.

Okay here it is: I have no problem getting Tinder dates. In fact, I don’t waste any time and go for the number quickly to get it off the app. Typically, I arrange the meet up within a 24-48 hour period and off we go. Okay here is my dilemma and I hope to get feedback from the guys having success. I probably have been on about 20 dates in the last 3 months or so and only closed (had sex) on one during this timeframe.

With that being said, I don’t make it a point to be sexual through texts or invite them over before meeting them. I prefer to go the in-direct route by grabbing drinks and keeping it light hearted and fun. I justify this by my experience of girls not wanting to feel like sluts and save my game (obviously isn’t working) for the date to try to transition from drinks to my place or hers.

On every single one of these dates we go out for drinks. I make it light hearted and fun by playing pool or some random bar game to keep us moving. I usually implement some sort of bet during this game and the bets vary on each date. I chose locations where we can switch venues and we take turns buying each other rounds. I feel the girls are always laughing, having a good time and we ALWAYS make out. My obstacle is transitioning from the bar to one of our places. I always plant the seed during the date that we should go watch a favorite show or find some common interest to lure them back. However, I am getting consistent push back and I don’t want to force it if it’s not natural. Don’t get me wrong I am applying tons of kino to try and change their mind. But after repeated attempts of them saying no in a nice way, I just stop and usually the date ends shortly after.


I usually try to follow up with a 2nd date and go for it again. This is where my confidence has been rattled. I receive the text that they had a great time and that I am an awesome person ect. Pretty much the same bullshit guys hear when girls aren’t interested. It’s either that or they play the cat and mouse game and I don’t have time to chase girls because basically I don’t want to appear low value to them.

I understand I may receive the reply just to go out and meet girl’s offline (schedules busy until the summer) or to keep this topic on the other forum dedicated to online sarging. On the other hand I value the opinions of those that post on this forum. It appears many of you that are having successes can help me out. Any feedback would be appreciated and thanks for reading.

Author:  DW-Heart-Charmer [ Thu Mar 17, 2016 2:21 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Recent Tinder Date Obstacles

In my experience, most tinder girls are DTF. You just got to lead them there.

For tinder, I meet up at a bar right near my house. I talk with them for 1-2 hours, very light kino as I'm not coming on too strong and I never really ask to go to my house. I lead it there.

For example the date is ending and we are walking out of the bar, I say nothing, only I walk to my car. If she seems hesitant or asks where we are going, I say something stupid like, "Come to my house for water." (Credit Max RSD) Usually the girl ponders it for a second then says ok.

It sounds like your main issue is pushing towards that end goal, when rather it should be like bait. If not though, I would also suggest you do a better job of screening before going on dates. Find the girls that actually want to have sex at that point.

Author:  R.C [ Thu Mar 17, 2016 7:21 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Recent Tinder Date Obstacles

"Relax, I'm not gonna have sex with you you pervert".

They always feel exponentially more comfortable once the elephanzilla in the room has been addressed. Then when you get back to yours whatever happens, happens.

Thing is a lot of girls will feel enormously pressured by accepting to follow you home since that's basically an euphemism for "ok let's go fuck now". You're virtually planning sex. And that's not very exciting. Feeling like a slut won't help either.

Then once you're at back at your place, all you need to do is turn her on and have that in the moment vibe.
You can also have fun with it and tease her a bit.
"I said we're not having sex. Get off me". Play around a little.

Author:  DW-Heart-Charmer [ Fri Mar 18, 2016 4:52 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Recent Tinder Date Obstacles

Quote:
"Relax, I'm not gonna have sex with you you pervert".
Quote:
"I said we're not having sex. Get off me". Play around a little.
Fuck this shit. This is incongruent garbage.

Be real with your desires but you don't have to consciously acknowledge them especially verbally. The power is in not acknowledging it verbally (either affirming or denying) and letting the tension build under the surface.

Author:  R.C [ Fri Mar 18, 2016 5:44 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Recent Tinder Date Obstacles

Quote:
Quote:
"Relax, I'm not gonna have sex with you you pervert".
Quote:
"I said we're not having sex. Get off me". Play around a little.
Fuck this shit. This is incongruent garbage.

Be real with your desires but you don't have to consciously acknowledge them especially verbally. The power is in not acknowledging it verbally (either affirming or denying) and letting the tension build under the surface.
Who said anything about not being real with your desires? You just asked her back to your house. Your desires are obvious. It's all about eliminating the social stigma.

Author:  JackZero [ Fri Mar 18, 2016 6:04 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Recent Tinder Date Obstacles

Quote:
Fuck this shit. This is incongruent garbage.
LMAO...This isn't congruent...
Quote:
"Relax, I'm not gonna have sex with you you pervert".
But this is???
Quote:
"Come to my house for water."

Author:  DW-Heart-Charmer [ Fri Mar 18, 2016 6:11 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Recent Tinder Date Obstacles

Hi Jack it's been too long.

Something likely beyond your grasp, but it's about your communication and not what you say.

"Come back to my house for water." - Roughly in chick logic means come back to my place oh and here is the piece for your ASD to get over.

"No we're not having sex."
"I said we're not having sex, now get off me." - Both mean we're not having sex in any language you speak. Not saying it doesn't work, but who do you want to be?

Same thing is true if she asks how many girls you are seeing. "15 two for each day and an extra one just in case." This means, "I'm seeing more than you and we are not going to talk about it."

Author:  R.C [ Fri Mar 18, 2016 6:30 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Recent Tinder Date Obstacles

Quote:
"No we're not having sex."
"I said we're not having sex, now get off me." - Both mean we're not having sex in any language you speak. Not saying it doesn't work, but who do you want to be?
"
I guess you're not fully grasping the concept of being a playful tease.

No worries, you'll get there eventually.

Author:  JackZero [ Fri Mar 18, 2016 6:31 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Recent Tinder Date Obstacles

Quote:
...
What is beyond your grasp is the fact that you don't get teasing. You don't get that by actually saying something like that breaks down barriers. R.C. broke it down perfectly because it does address the elephant in the room. Roughly in chick logic means let's be in the moment and whatever happens happens.

It's likely beyond your grasp because it is about your communication and not what you say. In all honesty, I wasn't criticizing your approach. I was pointing out the hypocrisy. But it's like you've said in the past about how it's amazing that guys dismiss another way of approaching things without trying it out for themselves.

Author:  DW-Heart-Charmer [ Fri Mar 18, 2016 11:40 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Recent Tinder Date Obstacles

The meaning of the communication is the response you get so while "We're not having sex." Is a good tease when communicated appropriately, the effectiveness for the OP to communicate "Yes this is teasing, just getting around your ASD." Is highly unlikely though. Lastly for me it's all about being congruent with who I am and what I communicate in as many ways as possible. Thus telling a girl we're not having sex when I want to have sex is stupid, even if I am teasing. This is when they don't call you back after you smash it. Thus you guys are getting there.

Author:  JackZero [ Sat Mar 19, 2016 12:51 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Recent Tinder Date Obstacles

Quote:
The meaning of the communication is the response you get so while "We're not having sex." Is a good tease when communicated appropriately, the effectiveness for the OP to communicate "Yes this is teasing, just getting around your ASD." Is highly unlikely though. Lastly for me it's all about being congruent with who I am and what I communicate in as many ways as possible. Thus telling a girl we're not having sex when I want to have sex is stupid, even if I am teasing. This is when they don't call you back after you smash it. Thus you guys are getting there.
It's funny that you really don't get teasing and girls do. In fact, girls will even tease about not having sex and then turn around and be the initiators of sex. It probably wouldn't work for you because you have to know how to pull teasing and banter off.

Here's some insight that you haven't figured out yet. If a girl enjoyed having sex with you, she'll come back for more no matter what you've said. In fact, if a girl is into you...you can say just about whatever you want and it won't change her mind about you.

Author:  DW-Heart-Charmer [ Sat Mar 19, 2016 5:22 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Recent Tinder Date Obstacles

Lol captain jack your my hero

Author:  Jfriendlay [ Mon Mar 21, 2016 7:31 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Recent Tinder Date Obstacles

Update: My success was exponentially better last week and I think my new approach is working. I went 2 for 2 last week on my Tinder dates. In addition, the blonde (I would give her a solid eight) I closed last Wednesday; we ended up having sex 3 more times this week.

I don’t think I made any drastic changes to my approach. If anything, I amped up the kino earlier on in the date and went for the make out mid-way through the date. It definitely equated to more sexual attraction/tension leading up to the end. The transition felt smoother and I had no obstacles about trying to convince them. If anything they were already convinced and it didn’t take much effort at that point.

I do agree with Jack about if the girl enjoyed having sex with you, she will comeback for more no matter what you’ve said. Just from firsthand experience.

Author:  R.C [ Tue Mar 22, 2016 1:05 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Recent Tinder Date Obstacles

Well done OP.

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