PUA Forum :: How much should two people in an open relationship hang out

I'm still young, 18 to be exact, and know that constantly hanging out with a girl / texting can come off as needy.

Quote:

I'm still young, 18 to be exact, and know that constantly hanging out with a girl / texting can come off as needy.

Don't fall into this trap of 'this and that will come across as needy'. It's not what you do, it's who you are. The amount is irrelevant, the content is.

Quote:

I'm still young, 18 to be exact, and know that constantly hanging out with a girl / texting can come off as needy.

Don't fall into this trap of 'this and that will come across as needy'. It's not what you do, it's who you are. The amount is irrelevant, the content is.

R.C, let me dissect that statement a little bit more so i can understand it more clearly. Say for instance, you wanted to hang out with someone everyday. At the same time, you were completely confidant and very at peace with yourself. That could potentially not come off as needy because of your strong character?

Quote:

I'm still young, 18 to be exact, and know that constantly hanging out with a girl / texting can come off as needy.

Don't fall into this trap of 'this and that will come across as needy'. It's not what you do, it's who you are. The amount is irrelevant, the content is.

What would compel you to want to hang out with a person every day?

I want to hang out with her more than that on the weekend but i also don't want to push her away. She has never been a fan of that clingyness, although i know that she enjoys her time with me also.

You want more than an open relationship with this girl. Accepting less is what makes you needy.

Quote:

You want more than an open relationship with this girl. Accepting less is what makes you needy.

This isn't realistic, IMHO. It's assuming her interest is at the same level as his, and that demanding more gets you more. Guys get dumped all the time for projecting their interest levels on women, and then making dumb moves.

IMHO, it takes women longer to fall for men than for us to fall for them. Show her a great time over and over and she'll do all of this for you in time.

Argh. I just had platitude overdose.

What you do is who you are. We are defined by our actions.

I seriously disagree with women taking longer to fall for a man. A man that has something going for him and is good with women will have women falling for him faster than him falling for women, especially after having sex.

Author:	Zeru [ Sun Mar 13, 2016 1:22 am ]
Post subject:	How much should two people in an open relationship hang out
I'm still young, 18 to be exact, and know that constantly hanging out with a girl / texting can come off as needy. I was hoping you guys could help me understand how much is too much, since i have never learned. We both have school on weekends, then on weekdays we are off. At the moment, we hang out one a week normally on the weekend for the night. I want to hang out with her more than that on the weekend but i also don't want to push her away. She has never been a fan of that clingyness, although i know that she enjoys her time with me also. I know this question may come off as extremely novice, but that's what i am!

Author:	horologist [ Sun Mar 13, 2016 11:54 am ]
Post subject:	Re: How much should two people in an open relationship hang
There's no straight answer. Open relationships all have their own sets of rules. You're going to have to talk to her and figure out your boundaries.

Author:	R.C [ Sun Mar 13, 2016 5:52 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: How much should two people in an open relationship hang
Quote: I'm still young, 18 to be exact, and know that constantly hanging out with a girl / texting can come off as needy. Don't fall into this trap of 'this and that will come across as needy'. It's not what you do, it's who you are. The amount is irrelevant, the content is.

Author:	Zeru [ Sun Mar 13, 2016 6:44 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: How much should two people in an open relationship hang
Quote: Quote: I'm still young, 18 to be exact, and know that constantly hanging out with a girl / texting can come off as needy. Don't fall into this trap of 'this and that will come across as needy'. It's not what you do, it's who you are. The amount is irrelevant, the content is. R.C, let me dissect that statement a little bit more so i can understand it more clearly. Say for instance, you wanted to hang out with someone everyday. At the same time, you were completely confidant and very at peace with yourself. That could potentially not come off as needy because of your strong character?

Author:	n2thevoid [ Sun Mar 13, 2016 6:52 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: How much should two people in an open relationship hang
Quote: Quote: Quote: I'm still young, 18 to be exact, and know that constantly hanging out with a girl / texting can come off as needy. Don't fall into this trap of 'this and that will come across as needy'. It's not what you do, it's who you are. The amount is irrelevant, the content is. R.C, let me dissect that statement a little bit more so i can understand it more clearly. Say for instance, you wanted to hang out with someone everyday. At the same time, you were completely confidant and very at peace with yourself. That could potentially not come off as needy because of your strong character? What would compel you to want to hang out with a person every day?

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Author:	Zeru [ Mon Mar 14, 2016 1:25 am ]
Post subject:	Re: How much should two people in an open relationship hang
Not necessarily saying i would, because i don't have that time and i want to do other things. I'm asking as an example though because i'm trying to understand the difference between to much and too little. Then when R.C said it's about who you are. I was wondering if potentially it you could hang out everyday of the week without it being clingy; as long as you had the strong character and confidence.

Author:	neo87 [ Mon Mar 14, 2016 6:56 am ]
Post subject:	Re: How much should two people in an open relationship hang
You want more than an open relationship with this girl. Accepting less is what makes you needy. If she'd forced you into a type of relationship you don't want to be in, she's already got you.

Author:	Arch Stanton [ Mon Mar 14, 2016 7:49 am ]
Post subject:	Re: How much should two people in an open relationship hang
Quote: Quote: I'm still young, 18 to be exact, and know that constantly hanging out with a girl / texting can come off as needy. Don't fall into this trap of 'this and that will come across as needy'. It's not what you do, it's who you are. The amount is irrelevant, the content is. Argh. I just had platitude overdose. What you do is who you are. We are defined by our actions.

Author:	Arch Stanton [ Mon Mar 14, 2016 7:58 am ]
Post subject:	Re: How much should two people in an open relationship hang
Quote: I want to hang out with her more than that on the weekend but i also don't want to push her away. She has never been a fan of that clingyness, although i know that she enjoys her time with me also. Younger attractive girls, because of social media/texting freaking hate clingy guys. They are hit up constantly. They will bat over-texters around like a cat to a crippled mouse. Guys who say "sorry" all the time in text for replying four hours later, guys who are too nice, guys who use a lot of exclamation points, etc. The list goes on and on. If you want to spend more time with a girl, make sure she has a great time when you're together. That one night a week you have right now should be mesmerizing. Just focus on THAT. She will eventually fall for you and ask for more time. She will think about it constantly until she has to let it out. Let her reveal her cards first. Be the man, show patience. Women love strong, patient men who don't blow up their phones everyday. This is foreplay to them. You can get away with mushiness later, when you know you have her. But right now you don't. Just be cool.

Author:	Arch Stanton [ Mon Mar 14, 2016 8:32 am ]
Post subject:	Re: How much should two people in an open relationship hang
Quote: You want more than an open relationship with this girl. Accepting less is what makes you needy. This isn't realistic, IMHO. It's assuming her interest is at the same level as his, and that demanding more gets you more. Guys get dumped all the time for projecting their interest levels on women, and then making dumb moves. IMHO, it takes women longer to fall for men than for us to fall for them. Show her a great time over and over and she'll do all of this for you in time.

Author:	JackZero [ Mon Mar 14, 2016 8:43 am ]
Post subject:	Re: How much should two people in an open relationship hang
Quote: Quote: You want more than an open relationship with this girl. Accepting less is what makes you needy. This isn't realistic, IMHO. It's assuming her interest is at the same level as his, and that demanding more gets you more. Guys get dumped all the time for projecting their interest levels on women, and then making dumb moves. IMHO, it takes women longer to fall for men than for us to fall for them. Show her a great time over and over and she'll do all of this for you in time. This is operating from the fear of losing the girl. It's fine to lose a girl that doesn't want the same things you want. It's just weak to have a girl in your life on her terms. I seriously disagree with women taking longer to fall for a man. A man that has something going for him and is good with women will have women falling for him faster than him falling for women, especially after having sex.

Author:	R.C [ Mon Mar 14, 2016 9:18 am ]
Post subject:	Re: How much should two people in an open relationship hang
Quote: R.C, let me dissect that statement a little bit more so i can understand it more clearly. Say for instance, you wanted to hang out with someone everyday. At the same time, you were completely confidant and very at peace with yourself. That could potentially not come off as needy because of your strong character? It's an exaggerated example, but for the sake of conversation, there's a difference between "wanting to hang out everyday" because you genuinely enjoy each other's company and can't get enough of it, and "wanting to hang out everyday" because you need the attention and need to constantly be knowing every single detail of her life. One is needy, the other is not.

Author:	R.C [ Mon Mar 14, 2016 9:28 am ]
Post subject:	Re: How much should two people in an open relationship hang
Quote: Argh. I just had platitude overdose. What you do is who you are. We are defined by our actions. If you find that as a platitude, that's because you don't understand the concept. And I know you don't since you believe "9s and 10s" will shred you alive if you don't do x or y. Our actions are just externalizations of who we are. They do not defined us, they are defined by us. If a successful, well put together guy walks in a bar and says to someone: "Hi, I just noticed you think you look cute. I'm x", and a couch potato slob that's wearing the same shirt every day for two weeks straight does the same thing, where's the difference in how they're perceived? It's not in the action. The action is the same. It's in who they are.

Author:	R.C [ Mon Mar 14, 2016 9:29 am ]
Post subject:	Re: How much should two people in an open relationship hang
Quote: I seriously disagree with women taking longer to fall for a man. A man that has something going for him and is good with women will have women falling for him faster than him falling for women, especially after having sex. Quoted for truth.

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