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Do I push for a date or just leave it for later?
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Author:  Ciriaco [ Mon Dec 21, 2015 4:31 pm ]
Post subject:  Do I push for a date or just leave it for later?
Hi guys,

Just a general question...

If after the nice, but not incredible first date I try to ask a girl out via a text message and she refuses (busy, going away etc) without proposing another day, do I just let it go, say "no worries" and propose a date after few more days, or instantly push for the meeting suggesting another day to show her how determined I am?

In my situation she said she way busy, going away for Christmas but she will be back soon...
Author:  Heywood Jablowme [ Mon Dec 21, 2015 5:10 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Do I push for a date or just leave it for later?
Quote:
she said she way busy, going away for Christmas but she will be back soon...
Obviously there wasn't any star dazzling attraction built here.

Just a "Cool, hit me up when your back" kind of reply. Leaves the ball in her court, and you plenty of time to seek other women.
Author:  Dragula [ Mon Dec 21, 2015 5:12 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Do I push for a date or just leave it for later?
Seems like you've already predicted she has flaked..

Ask HER which day SHE is free to meet.

If your predications are true, she will make excuses, beat around the bush or just ignore you. OR...she might surprise you with a day and then you got put a little pressure on. 'bla bla you will see on Wed bla bla'

You can also pre-emptive message her saying that 'That last date was awkward wasn't it? you were obviously not yourself ;)' and kinda blame it on her in a cheeky way.
Author:  Jay (Majik) [ Tue Dec 22, 2015 3:51 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Do I push for a date or just leave it for later?
Another dude chasing girls who aren't interested him....
Author:  J.Daniels [ Tue Dec 22, 2015 4:26 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Do I push for a date or just leave it for later?
Quote:
Quote:
she said she way busy, going away for Christmas but she will be back soon...
Obviously there wasn't any star dazzling attraction built here.

Just a "Cool, hit me up when your back" kind of reply. Leaves the ball in her court, and you plenty of time to seek other women.
Author:  Eddie Fews [ Tue Dec 22, 2015 9:04 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Do I push for a date or just leave it for later?
"Going away for christmas" is probably the most comment objection being given at this time. You're clear to set something else up.

However, if a girl is saying "no" she's not always saying " I don't want to go out with you". She also could be saying " I don't feel comfortable enough with you yet". Just talk to her some more. There is where having phone skills becomes important. FaceTime/SPAM/tango etc.

That video chat can subconsciously resemble a first date. Talk to her on FaceTime for an 40mins to and hour and you're pretty much clear for take off.
Author:  J.Daniels [ Tue Dec 22, 2015 9:17 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Do I push for a date or just leave it for later?
Quote:
FaceTime for an 40mins to and hour
Really? I'd have thought that'd be a bit too much? Don't get me wrong, just curious
Author:  Eddie Fews [ Tue Dec 22, 2015 9:52 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Do I push for a date or just leave it for later?
Sometimes even longer. Its not something i actually time. I just talk and vibe out until I'm done.

I treat FaceTime like first dates. Is 40 - hour on a date too long? Sure you can't physically escalate, but you can do so verbally. You can pretty much go from FaceTime to having them over your house without ever having to actually meet the chick anywhere else.
Author:  J.Daniels [ Tue Dec 22, 2015 9:57 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Do I push for a date or just leave it for later?
Interesting. I'd never thought of it like that. Unless the girl was somewhat long distance, I've usually avoided any time on the phone/SPAM/Facetime and just viewed it as either in person date or nothing at all
Author:  oceanx [ Thu Dec 24, 2015 2:05 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Do I push for a date or just leave it for later?
OP for the love of god don't facetime this girl for 40 minutes. You've already been out with her. As Heywood states, put the ball in her court. If she isn't down she isn't down. Next!
Author:  J.Daniels [ Thu Dec 24, 2015 6:27 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Do I push for a date or just leave it for later?
Have to say I agree with Ocean. After 40 minutes on Facetime, the average guy will have eliminated any need for a girl to go on a date with him. I don't want to discredit what Eddie has said, but the fact that Eddie fews can pull it off doesn't mean it's the most efficient way for a beginner.
Author:  oceanx [ Fri Dec 25, 2015 4:27 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Do I push for a date or just leave it for later?
Quote:
Have to say I agree with Ocean. After 40 minutes on Facetime, the average guy will have eliminated any need for a girl to go on a date with him. I don't want to discredit what Eddie has said, but the fact that Eddie fews can pull it off doesn't mean it's the most efficient way for a beginner.
I love SPAM for some situations but speaking for myself personally I wouldn't do it w/ a girl in the OP's particular situation.
Author:  neo87 [ Fri Dec 25, 2015 4:40 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Do I push for a date or just leave it for later?
Just re-engage after xmas. You're in the a low interest situation and the toughest dating period of the year. Not much you can do.
Author:  spacco [ Sat Dec 26, 2015 6:57 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Do I push for a date or just leave it for later?
Just leave it alone for awhile. Come back in the New year. I mean people ARE busy during the holidays and go out of town. So that can make logistics difficult.
Author:  199Flags [ Sun Dec 27, 2015 3:18 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Do I push for a date or just leave it for later?
Yeah sounds like you may have to take the L, but if she is into it I'm sure you will here from her. Pushing hard now or texting her will only push her away.
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