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Girl ripped me to sheds over text. How do I respond?
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Author:  tankfrank48 [ Tue Oct 27, 2015 8:20 pm ]
Post subject:  Girl ripped me to sheds over text. How do I respond?
I've been seeing this girl for about 7 weeks. Nothing serious. She had been initiating flirting and hinting at plans up to a week ago when she just went cold with one word responses. Her grandma was dying of cancer and I offered my support and let her know I'm here for her. She blew me off. I said I understood she was upset but didnt have to push me away. She replied with the following rant:

"pushing you away? you practically friendzoned yourself. Listen i know you had good intentions but I've tried so hard to flirt with you and all you do is take me seriously and come off as a dick to my friends. I appreciate the flowers but I had to open my mouth to get them. Not once have you tried holding my hand, take me out to a real dinner date or even call me beautiful. Forget the fact that you didnt pull a move on me. Thats ok anyways because when you kiss me its like you're kissing for the first time. You have a strong personality and would be a great friend but as a boyfriend I'm sorry but the game you have isnt what I'm looking for. You always have to be right and any conversation we have turns into a playful argument. I cant stand that. Listen my grandmother is practically on her death bed, and has hours left. I'm learning the hard way that life is short. So im just gonna say it. I just dont think what you have to offer is good enough for what i need. I dont want to come off mean but i practically have to spell everything out for you"

There is plenty of this that is irrational and untrue but I havent responded to the cold and angry bitch. No snese arguing when shes like this. But how do I proceed?

Should I just give her space and reinitiate again at a later time?
Should I just walk away and never respond again due to her disrespecting and insulting me?
Should I just go no contact and wait for her to contact me (if at all) and then take things from there?
Is she completely done with me and I have zero chance as it seems to be or is that just the grief, anger, and frustration from the death coming out towards me?
Any help and advice would be appreciated
Author:  CharlesFinley [ Tue Oct 27, 2015 8:41 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Girl ripped me to sheds over text. How do I respond?
LOL - sorry but you're done bud... You were too busy acting out pickup mechanics and following a script of how things are supposed to go down that you missed all your windows with this girl.

That - or maybe you're just new to this stuff and shy... Who knows?

You HAVE TO ACT. You don't even hold her hand? You barely kiss her? And of course you haven't slept with her if that's how this is playing out..... And you've posted this in the 'relationships' section?

Pretty sure this was never a relationship.

What do you do? Suck it up and find another girl. No point in even replying if you ask me.

She's not the only one out there... Write it off as a learning lesson and act next time... Escalate!
Author:  Dragula [ Tue Oct 27, 2015 8:43 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Girl ripped me to sheds over text. How do I respond?
Quote:
I've been seeing this girl for about 7 weeks. Nothing serious. She had been initiating flirting and hinting at plans up to a week ago when she just went cold with one word responses. Her grandma was dying of cancer and I offered my support and let her know I'm here for her. She blew me off. I said I understood she was upset but didnt have to push me away. She replied with the following rant:

"pushing you away? you practically friendzoned yourself. Listen i know you had good intentions but I've tried so hard to flirt with you and all you do is take me seriously and come off as a dick to my friends. I appreciate the flowers but I had to open my mouth to get them. Not once have you tried holding my hand, take me out to a real dinner date or even call me beautiful. Forget the fact that you didnt pull a move on me. Thats ok anyways because when you kiss me its like you're kissing for the first time. You have a strong personality and would be a great friend but as a boyfriend I'm sorry but the game you have isnt what I'm looking for. You always have to be right and any conversation we have turns into a playful argument. I cant stand that. Listen my grandmother is practically on her death bed, and has hours left. I'm learning the hard way that life is short. So im just gonna say it. I just dont think what you have to offer is good enough for what i need. I dont want to come off mean but i practically have to spell everything out for you"

There is plenty of this that is irrational and untrue but I havent responded to the cold and angry bitch. No snese arguing when shes like this. But how do I proceed?

Should I just give her space and reinitiate again at a later time?
Should I just walk away and never respond again due to her disrespecting and insulting me?
Should I just go no contact and wait for her to contact me (if at all) and then take things from there?
Is she completely done with me and I have zero chance as it seems to be or is that just the grief, anger, and frustration from the death coming out towards me?
Any help and advice would be appreciated

Mate, she is giving you honest feedback. What more do you need to know? This is so needy...Give her some space bro.

You've not even had sex with her and you type like you're married to her. Read my sig link
Author:  Jay (Majik) [ Tue Oct 27, 2015 9:18 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Girl ripped me to sheds over text. How do I respond?
Dude... what the fuck?

I'd say "take a hint"... but she literally laid it all out there for you. Most girls will never do that. You should be glad she actually told you how she felt no instead of leading you on.

She's not interested in you. At all. Move on.
Author:  DJ_Z [ Tue Oct 27, 2015 9:25 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Girl ripped me to sheds over text. How do I respond?
Sounds like you're an ass.
Author:  tankfrank48 [ Tue Oct 27, 2015 10:16 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Girl ripped me to sheds over text. How do I respond?
Thanks for the replies guys. Correct charlesfinley, I am new to this stuff and shy. Im a good looking dude but have social anxiety and this whole dating and escalating thing is challenging. I've gotten ok at getting attraction, numbers, and getting them to meet up. But I still need a lot of work with the whole dating thing as my date ideas, logistics, and escalation of things is still sloppy as you can see. I did make it through first couple dates with her ok as she seemed into me, wanting to see me again, and was making comments about being together long term. But then I couldnt fake my lack of experience much longer and it appears she has grown tired and frustrated with the lack of progression and my recent stumbling with things and caught on to my lack of game moving things along.

I do appreciate her honesty and feedback in her reply but was surprised how much of an entitled bitch she was. She mentioned she likes flowers after only 2 dates almost asking for them and when i send them to her job few weeks later when she was stressed she just acts like an ungrateful bitch. I'm sure the cause is mostly me and my lack of game but wondered also how the death and grief of her grandma factored into all this bitchyness and anger. I consider this all practice as I keep working to get better at this stuff.
Author:  bartm [ Wed Oct 28, 2015 12:03 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Girl ripped me to sheds over text. How do I respond?
come on man, she is not a bitch.

I wish all girls were her. instead of making up bullshit like "right now I am not ready for a relationship" she is laying out for you EXACTLY what you did wrong so you can fix it for your future relationships. I love her, I wish all girls were like that.

Thanks for posting her text message. It's really enlightening to learn how girls think and what they want.

you should be thankful to her, and keep her as your mentor. she sounds like she knows what she is doing.
Author:  tankfrank48 [ Wed Oct 28, 2015 12:24 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Girl ripped me to sheds over text. How do I respond?
Bartm I agree that the honesty and feedback is helpful though I still disagree on her attitude about the flowers. She pretty much is asking for gifts after only 2 dates and then if I don't ever get her them in a clueless douche or if I later do like I did it's only bc she 'opened her mouth'. Puts me in a no win situation. Should I really be showing up with flowers for a girl on only the second date? She really wants someone to placate herr low self esteem, that's what it comes down to. She was abandoned by her father so that's why needs gifts, compliments etc at a more intense rate. She badly wants to feel validated, wanted, and accepted. She is high maintenance, entitled, and ungrateful which was bothering me even before this message. It's a learning experience and prob best we go our separate ways and I'm a better man off with this new knowledge
Author:  bartm [ Wed Oct 28, 2015 2:16 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Girl ripped me to sheds over text. How do I respond?
Quote:
Bartm I agree that the honesty and feedback is helpful though I still disagree on her attitude about the flowers. She pretty much is asking for gifts after only 2 dates and then if I don't ever get her them in a clueless douche or if I later do like I did it's only bc she 'opened her mouth'. Puts me in a no win situation. Should I really be showing up with flowers for a girl on only the second date? She really wants someone to placate herr low self esteem, that's what it comes down to. She was abandoned by her father so that's why needs gifts, compliments etc at a more intense rate. She badly wants to feel validated, wanted, and accepted. She is high maintenance, entitled, and ungrateful which was bothering me even before this message. It's a learning experience and prob best we go our separate ways and I'm a better man off with this new knowledge
I agree that her expectation of getting gifts after 2 dates is bullshit.
If I were you I would send her a message thanking her for the lessons. let her know you appreciate her honesty and she helped you grow as a man. then leave her alone.
like I said it's rare to find honest girls like that, most girls would have told you "sorry at this point I am not ready for a relationship" or "sorry my hamster just died" and you would have been confused as fuck what happened.
keep on trying with other girls and in a year you will have a lot more experience and look back and laugh at today. I guarantee you.
and just FYI, I can relate to you, I am shy and suffer from social anxiety too. I can totally see myself getting a text message like that.
Author:  CharlesFinley [ Wed Oct 28, 2015 2:29 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Girl ripped me to sheds over text. How do I respond?
A lot of guys here have pushed it the way you did... Were emotionally and romantically clueless, as you were, and simply didn't pick up on signs, signals, etc.... Basically failed to act.

I'm not sure if you'll stick with this, OP, Or if you're a one-time poster looking for a magic line that'll alleviate your problems (there is no such line).

I personally probably wouldn't go as far as thanking her. Just fade out.

I would, however, learn from this. Learn to act. Learn to be more perceptive to the signals girls are throwing off... Let's face it: whether she's a bitch or not about the flowers, that isn't the only thing that was wrong here... And most of it appears to be your fault. Most of it was preventable with a little common sense and attention to detail.

Example: You thought you were dating her? Then why not hold her hand? Clearly that's what she wanted - and that's not an outrageous request by her, IMO
Author:  R.C [ Wed Oct 28, 2015 7:32 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Girl ripped me to sheds over text. How do I respond?
Quote:
There is plenty of this that is irrational and untrue but I havent responded to the cold and angry bitch. No snese arguing when shes like this. But how do I proceed?

See, this is how we know she was right. Assume responsibility for your fuckup dude. You're calling her a bitch because you bitched out in the first place? These are the consequences of your actions. Or lack-there-of.

Personally I'd thank her. Not even kidding. "Appreciate the honesty. I hope you find what you're looking for". She literally laid it out for you. That's rare dude. You won't find many women that will go brutal honesty on you like that. Give appreciation where it's due. In time you'll realize she did you a favor by not wasting neither of your or her time anymore.

But don't think you still have a chance here. You're more than done. The line above isn't gamey in any way. It's genuine. She deserves that.
Author:  Dragula [ Wed Oct 28, 2015 8:11 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Girl ripped me to sheds over text. How do I respond?
If she was such a cunt/bitch, why are you bothered about losing her?

This is like when guys approach a girl obnoxiously and then when he gets rejected he says "you're fat anyway" (yet he just got rejected by this 'fat girl'.
Author:  masterm1ne [ Wed Oct 28, 2015 8:53 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Girl ripped me to sheds over text. How do I respond?
Quote:
I love her, I wish all girls were like that.
So true man, so true. You have no right to call this girl a bitch when she was nice enough to explain everything to you! I mean to your own admission to go throwing that word around and you still have social anxiety/problems escalating... like dudeeeeeeeee pleeeeeeeease

I don't think you've actually met a bitch yet :lol: :lol: :lol: Go out with a couple girls that are abv avg height, thin, have big tits, look like celebs and are dancers/athletes. You'll see who's a bitch then.
Author:  CGAG [ Wed Oct 28, 2015 11:44 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Girl ripped me to sheds over text. How do I respond?
I'd totally thank that lovely girl!
Author:  adaptordie [ Sat Oct 31, 2015 12:45 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Girl ripped me to sheds over text. How do I respond?
haha wow that is brutal, but also super honest! Gotta give her some respect for that one, way better than all the vague shit girls pull.

i like the guys reply up top. "thanks for being honest, hope you find what you're looking for!"


makes her look like the bitch. dont fall into her trap and argue back about flowers and other BS.

dude its not that hard to hold a girls hand, its probably one of the easiest things to do.
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