Jax Teller from Sons of Anarchy
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| the quiet, confident guy https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=192537 |
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| Author: | bartm [ Wed Sep 02, 2015 4:45 pm ] |
| Post subject: | the quiet, confident guy |
our society has this thing, I dont know if I would call it a misconception, that confidence = noise for example, the guy at a party who is the loudest is the confident guy. the guy who is talking to a lot of people and laughing loud is the sexy guy. I am wondering, is there a quiet, confident guy that women find sexy? I am trying to see in my imagination this character, a guy who is sexy, but very private. but I just cant see it. does this exist? if yes, can you tell me how I can find out more about this character? are there any movies that I can watch where someone is like that? so I can see what he is like? edit: ok, let me clarify the point of the question. I am trying to see the ideal me. what is he like? I cant see it in my imagination. when a mechanic starts fixing your car, first he sees the final result in his imagination. if he cant see it, then he cant fix the car. I also need to see the final result, which is this confident but quiet and private guy. what is that character like? that's what I need to see. hence why I was looking for a movie. |
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| Author: | Dragula [ Wed Sep 02, 2015 4:55 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: the quiet, confident guy |
Here is a movie that totally disagrees with your question: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bujqajY101E The loudest in the room is the weakest. |
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| Author: | Jay (Majik) [ Thu Sep 03, 2015 4:16 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: the quiet, confident guy |
Jax Teller from Sons of Anarchy
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| Author: | Samurai209 [ Thu Sep 03, 2015 5:15 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: the quiet, confident guy |
Totally possible to be quietly confident, but your game, both outer and inner, needs to be on point. Otherwise youll just end up as a wallflower. |
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| Author: | Eddie Fews [ Fri Sep 04, 2015 3:08 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: the quiet, confident guy |
You're still trying to imitate someone else instead of making yourself. This is the epitome of being a beta male. The alpha male says " i'll just be the first one". Stop looking for someone to emulate and create the you that you want the world to see |
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| Author: | DJ_Z [ Fri Sep 04, 2015 8:21 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: the quiet, confident guy |
I completely understand and to an extent you are right. But it isn't so much about loud vs quiet as it is extrovert vs introvert. People often falsely assume extroversion means confidence when it really just means a person prefers being in larger groups interacting with many people. I am an introvert and find that draining. A good way around this is to learn to block out the noise and only talk to your target girl. |
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| Author: | On A Rampage [ Sat Sep 05, 2015 10:05 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: the quiet, confident guy |
Focus more on your body language and how you feel. |
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| Author: | bartm [ Sat Sep 05, 2015 5:33 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: the quiet, confident guy |
Quote: You're still trying to imitate someone else instead of making yourself. This is the epitome of being a beta male. The alpha male says " i'll just be the first one".
Eddie,Stop looking for someone to emulate and create the you that you want the world to see the problem is, I dont know how I want to be. steve jobs once said "people dont know what they want until you show it to them" regarding computers. when you go to best buy to buy a laptop, you dont know what you want or what you dont want until you are shown some samples. you have to be shown 10 laptops and then you say "i dont want this, i dont want this, i dont want this, ok i want this one" I dont know what guy I want to be, that's why I needed to see some samples. Also, I find that it really helps when I am stuck in a high pressure situation and I ask myself "what would X do in this situation?" the answer comes so quick. |
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| Author: | Jay (Majik) [ Sat Sep 05, 2015 5:34 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: the quiet, confident guy |
Quote: You're still trying to imitate someone else instead of making yourself. This is the epitome of being a beta male. The alpha male says " i'll just be the first one".
People imitate other people. It's human nature. Stop looking for someone to emulate and create the you that you want the world to see Shit, that's what the whole education system is based on. The key is to make sure you imitate the right personality traits that are going to help you "succeed." |
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| Author: | sleepyhead [ Sat Sep 05, 2015 7:21 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: the quiet, confident guy |
This subject has grown quickly. I think it can help to look to role models, but I don't think it's healthy to do it blindly. Culture has a way of throwing the impervious, loud and proud for you to look up to, which can create unrealistic standards and leave you always chasing the horizon. Try to ask yourself questions about what you value in other people or what you wish you saw more of in other people, and then ask yourself why you value those things. That's a good starting point, I think, but then try to reflect those values yourself. As to the introverted/extroverted topic, it really boils down to 'flow of energy'. I know that sounds like new age hippy-dippy bull shit, but really it just means 'do you get more energy from being in a group, or do you lose it?' I'm an introvert, I love people but I recharge alone. So far I haven't encountered much in the PUA community with regards to the quiet introvert, but I'm fairly new. Most of the advice seems to hinge on absolute confidence, such to the point where irrational self confidence is recommended far and away before rational self doubt. Also, it' helps to be an unyielding font of fun. Conveying that seems leagues 'easier' with a more socially extroverted mentality, while being the wallflower doesn't really magnetize attractive women to you at all. Society has always been structured such that it's the man's duty to approach. Balancing that necessity with the quiet, confident, introvert might seem like a clash, but I gather it's an art like the rest of pick up, just less common. Build yourself, exude confidence, and approach your target. I wish I had more details to offer than that, but figuring out what you want to be is a first step I don't think can be avoided. |
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| Author: | Finished [ Sat Sep 05, 2015 7:57 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: the quiet, confident guy |
This is what gets you laid to be honest... No need to try be all high energy, high fiving people and prancing about. You may aswell say "Hey, I'm a fag"... Most of the guys I've tried to explain this to just don't get it. Self control, composure, and sexy eye contact is what will make you attractive. This has been a part of my personality for a long time. I have never been the full on show off type of guy... it creates intrigue from a lot of girls... I'm pretty sure you can learn it though and ingrain it as part of your own personality over time... nothing wrong with observing guys like Marlon Brando, James Dean ect for references... There is however a huge difference from being the quite, cool, confident guy to being the wallflower/geek/weirdo in the corner... you have to have something about you... it's hard to explain the differences over text. Basically Sub Coms... If you can pull it off you'll probably get more IOI's... capitalise on these and open with whatever you feel like saying... Fuck what the other dudes say and try it out yourself. |
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| Author: | Eddie Fews [ Sat Sep 05, 2015 8:25 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: the quiet, confident guy |
Quote: Quote: You're still trying to imitate someone else instead of making yourself. This is the epitome of being a beta male. The alpha male says " i'll just be the first one".
Eddie,Stop looking for someone to emulate and create the you that you want the world to see the problem is, I dont know how I want to be. steve jobs once said "people dont know what they want until you show it to them" regarding computers. when you go to best buy to buy a laptop, you dont know what you want or what you dont want until you are shown some samples. you have to be shown 10 laptops and then you say "i dont want this, i dont want this, i dont want this, ok i want this one" I dont know what guy I want to be, that's why I needed to see some samples. Also, I find that it really helps when I am stuck in a high pressure situation and I ask myself "what would X do in this situation?" the answer comes so quick. |
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| Author: | Bender1234 [ Mon Sep 07, 2015 7:56 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: the quiet, confident guy |
Idk, it's tricky. Loud obviously doesn't mean shit. But you DO have to control the room in a way. I feel like being a good PUA has less to do with being able to talk with to the entire party at once and more with being able to engage people directly well. Imagine you're at a party. Some loud drunk dude comes in, he's the loudest, but he's slurring his words walking up to chicks like "Heyyyy gorgeous". Goes to high five someone and falls over. He's the loudest, but nobody respects him. Now imagine there's a guy in the corner sitting on a loveseat, leg folded up talking to a girl sitting on the armrest casually holding a whiskey. He gets up, slowly walks over and in front of everyone confronts this drunk douche and holds him hand up telling him he has to behave or get the hell out. He's not being loud, but he's taking on that alpha-leader role. |
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| Author: | sikrion [ Tue Sep 08, 2015 5:17 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: the quiet, confident guy |
Kind of off topic I think. I am super quiet. I mumble a lot and girls still love it. I am not quiet and mumbly because of awkwardness it just is how my speech is. I make the girls laugh and if they ask me to repeat I give em shit for it saying they need their ears check (proceed to 'check ear') just have fun and relax. You can be quiet and still succeed. However don't use your quietness as an excuse to not approach. I may not be loud but I almost always approach and start conversations. Edit: here are some guys who do this really well https://youtu.be/mcJiY5rxbyQ?t=22s Subtitles but even without you can see his quiet attractiveness https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hMpqdAYjkhU Super quiet, but funny and enjoyable. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8v3s3YZuHb8 Another quiet man but he still is a performer and has fun. Note: They all are willing to be loud and aren't afraid if the situation arises They all like to make jokes and have fun They aren't phased by screaming girls or react to it in really anyway They would be happy doing their own thing if you are there are not, but they would love to have you along if you accepted their invitation. They move slowly and smile. In the Johnny Depp one just watch how he acts when he walks out on stage. That is everything you need to know about the quiet confidence. |
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