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Girl "Dumped" Me. Is my decision correct?
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Author:  6 Stringer [ Mon Aug 03, 2015 9:12 am ]
Post subject:  Girl "Dumped" Me. Is my decision correct?
When I say 'dumped' I mean after we were casually dating for 2 months. But we knew each other since being kids.

Long story short, I met her on FB decades later. She starting chasing ME, as she was breaking up with a BF that she lived with. She said it was over and they were just roommates and she was looking for a new place. She was and that was affirmed, I know of him through FB, it was over.

Through our dating she was like a roller coaster, all over the place. I was led around by insecurity after another and I myself became insecure. Being that we were kids and went to school together we both felt a connection. She would tell me she hadn't felt this way in years, and that she wanted to be with me, it was a STRONG feeling for both of us, but we always seemed to argue. Looking back it was because I could never gauge her. She has slight ADD to begin with but I convinced myself she was ' the one'

I broke it off with her for 2 weeks, she came looking for me and hunted me down to tell me how she wants' to 'do this'. We dated again..then I had this moment were I wanted to 'be friends' and she agreed we should. 4 days after that I missed her and tried to contact her. She was away at a friends B-Day party and I got the 'SPAM'...

She went on about how she needs to 'find herself'. How she is "all over the place', and needs "her time". I spiraled into a panic and texted her to meet me and talk, she denied and I pushed. I wrote a fucking BOOK in text on how 'we could reverse this' and everything.

I never felt this way for a girl in a long time so my lack of abundance kicked in MAJOR. I stopped texting 4 hours ago and 'wished her luck'. And now I feel fucking devastated.

I will NOT text her again. That is a DEFINITE And I will NOT answer if she even decides to text. I have decided to lock her out completely. Erased all numbers, email, FB contacts, even blocked her.

But this is gonna hurt. I feel sick and confused. My head is swimming, but I have to maintain.
Author:  R.C [ Mon Aug 03, 2015 11:32 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Girl "Dumped" Me. Is my decision correct?
Why do you guys do this to yourselves?

Man..so much drama in what? a few weeks? why? I just don't get it.

I don't even remember the last time I dated a girl with whom I got into any kind of argument within the first 7-8 months.
Life can be so much better than this.

Stop favoring the company of broken or dysfunctional people.
Author:  6 Stringer [ Mon Aug 03, 2015 12:22 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Girl "Dumped" Me. Is my decision correct?
Quote:
Why do you guys do this to yourselves?

Man..so much drama in what? a few weeks? why? I just don't get it.

I don't even remember the last time I dated a girl with whom I got into any kind of argument within the first 7-8 months.
Life can be so much better than this.

Stop favoring the company of broken or dysfunctional people.
I'm not discounting what you say, you're correct. But we spent 6 years together in school as kids. We weren't exactly 'new' to each other.
Author:  6 Stringer [ Mon Aug 03, 2015 12:28 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Girl "Dumped" Me. Is my decision correct?
And I fully agree that arguing and having fights is a BAD thing early on. I should have backed out. I tried, she sucked me back in, I let her. I thought she was 'the one' so I lost myself. I don't get into girls like this often. I lost myself in the process thinking she would be 'for me' and that if I lost her I would never get that kind of 'feeling'.

I fucked up.
Author:  R.C [ Mon Aug 03, 2015 1:21 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Girl "Dumped" Me. Is my decision correct?
Everyone says shit like this doesn't happen often. I'm pretty certain it does. And that's fine, something to work on. But there's really no point in lying about it - either to yourself or to us.

All this "the one" talk doesn't help either. You can't possibly know that. I don't care if you grow up together, you never were together. You're not infatuated by her, you're infatuated by the idea of what you want her to be.

I once broke up with a girl to which I have no complaints. By all intents and purposes she was a standard to aim for. And that's fine. Life goes on. I've met several equally great or even better women since.

You'll be fine. Just don't contact / talk to her again. She brings no value to your life.
Author:  Eddie Fews [ Mon Aug 03, 2015 2:35 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Girl "Dumped" Me. Is my decision correct?
So you just wanted to vent?

You didn't ask for any advice or anything.

As a man you have to stand by your decision as much as possible. I think everyone has made the mistake of breaking things off and then taking acting in the state of "regret" which only reaffirms to a girl that she is prized over you, causing her to pull away from you. You've placed her in a superior position. She could of been crying over you just before that but is now responding to the new dynamic you set.

However, this sounds like it was a recipe for disaster anyway. These types of situations can be repaired, I've done it in the past, but you must remain calm, remember who you were before all of this, and be fully willing to walk away - one foot must already been out the door basically.

For now, you already know what to do.. You have to cool it. I know the child hood thing makes this out to be some fairy tale, but a fairy tale story doesn't change the rules of attraction. All of those details are fun and cool, but mean nothing in the grand scheme of things. It all boils down to the same thing no matter what the story is.

Stay strong bro. And leave her alone.
Author:  6 Stringer [ Tue Aug 04, 2015 4:37 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Girl "Dumped" Me. Is my decision correct?
Quote:
So you just wanted to vent?

You didn't ask for any advice or anything.

As a man you have to stand by your decision as much as possible. I think everyone has made the mistake of breaking things off and then taking acting in the state of "regret" which only reaffirms to a girl that she is prized over you, causing her to pull away from you. You've placed her in a superior position. She could of been crying over you just before that but is now responding to the new dynamic you set.

However, this sounds like it was a recipe for disaster anyway. These types of situations can be repaired, I've done it in the past, but you must remain calm, remember who you were before all of this, and be fully willing to walk away - one foot must already been out the door basically.

For now, you already know what to do.. You have to cool it. I know the child hood thing makes this out to be some fairy tale, but a fairy tale story doesn't change the rules of attraction. All of those details are fun and cool, but mean nothing in the grand scheme of things. It all boils down to the same thing no matter what the story is.

Stay strong bro. And leave her alone.
I didn't come here to vent. I came here with the wish that another man or men would help. Would say something to help me through this. To say what I needed to hear. I logged in and read both posts and it's exactly what I needed to hear.

I thank you in sincerity. I'll keep it cool. I gotta find myself again.

And thanks for not being a dick in responding. It IS possible to teach someone something without berating them, like I see many times. Cool shit.
Author:  younglady [ Wed Aug 05, 2015 2:37 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Girl "Dumped" Me. Is my decision correct?
Quote:
Through our dating she was like a roller coaster, all over the place.
Quote:
She went on about how she needs to 'find herself'. How she is "all over the place', and needs "her time".
Author:  chantos [ Mon Aug 10, 2015 3:25 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Girl "Dumped" Me. Is my decision correct?
This site makes me feel like a superhero who gets to the crime scene a second too late every time. For once I would love to help a guy get a girl instead of pointing out a bunch of shit that has already happened.

I guess the best thing to say to you is that you need to fully abandon this "the one for me" concept. That should never exist after this point, no good comes from it.

Other highlights:

-Never enter into a relationship with a chick who just broke up with another dude, especially if they were close enough to be living together.
-When a woman expresses her love toward you, she's speaking IN THE MOMENT. Don't assume she means it the same way you do. They are wired differently. "I've never felt like this before," "I want to be with you forever," or any shit like that means absolutely nothing.
-No text novels or begging a woman to work it out or reverse it. Visualize the alpha male. A guy with 25 girls lined up to be with him doesn't give a fuck if one of them "has to find herself." Even if you're hurting on the inside, your exterior needs to communicate that she doesn't fucking matter. Eventually she won't. But equally important: it's the single most attractive thing you can possibly do to a woman these days. Not care.

Give it some time. Focus on yourself and your close friends. Listen to music that pumps you up. Lift weights. Kill it in your education or career. Breakups are never fun, but if you learn from them they can actually become blessings.
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