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| two questions https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=191571 |
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| Author: | HectorH [ Fri Jul 10, 2015 6:51 pm ] |
| Post subject: | two questions |
I have been studying pick up and learn a lot and there are two things that I see over and over again but still can't understand them... 1. How to be vulnerable ? I had did couples counseling with an ex before and the counselor kept telling me I needed to be more vulnerable and I have also read this in books but still don't understand it ? I interpreted that it means being more open.. How do you open up to a women you just met at a party or bar ? how does this help attraction ? 2. How do you show sexual interests ? I had a coach and he told me I keep friend zoning the girls i want to be sexual with.. he said the girls want me but I'm not giving off the signals that I'm sexually interested in theses girls.. he said I should just grab her hand or just kiss her and act like nothing happen.. but how do I show sexual interest with a girl I just met ? I can't do those things with a stranger it would scare her.... |
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| Author: | Dragula [ Fri Jul 10, 2015 6:57 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: two questions |
Quote: 1. How to be vulnerable ?
Being vulnerable to me is about being real. Admitting your flaws and setting your ego to the side. It is hard to use it as a tactic but girls will know when you're being genuinely vulnerable with them, this does in fact create a bondI had did couples counseling with an ex before and the counselor kept telling me I needed to be more vulnerable and I have also read this in books but still don't understand it ? I interpreted that it means being more open.. How do you open up to a women you just met at a party or bar ? how does this help attraction ? Quote: 2. How do you show sexual interests ? I had a coach and he told me I keep friend zoning the girls i want to be sexual with.. he said the girls want me but I'm not giving off the signals that I'm sexually interested in theses girls.. he said I should just grab her hand or just kiss her and act like nothing happen.. but how do I show sexual interest with a girl I just met ? I can't do those things with a stranger it would scare her....
You escalate, either:- verbally 'I am attracted to you' -non verbally *Looking at her like you want to fuck her* - physcially *kissing her, touching her etc doing stuff you would do with a girlfriend* Quote: I can't do those things with a stranger it would scare her.
Why are you here then? There is a lay report section on this forum with 1000's of reports of guys hooking up with strangers. You just need to accept this into your reality. Surely you have witnessed girls kissing guys in clubs? You are speculating with this comment. You're letting this thread define you. viewtopic.php?f=6&t=191416&p=918189#p918189 Not all girls are like this
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| Author: | n2thevoid [ Fri Jul 10, 2015 7:34 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: two questions |
Quote: I have been studying pick up and learn a lot and there are two things that I see over and over again but still can't understand them...
1)1. How to be vulnerable ? I had did couples counseling with an ex before and the counselor kept telling me I needed to be more vulnerable and I have also read this in books but still don't understand it ? I interpreted that it means being more open.. How do you open up to a women you just met at a party or bar ? how does this help attraction ? 2. How do you show sexual interests ? I had a coach and he told me I keep friend zoning the girls i want to be sexual with.. he said the girls want me but I'm not giving off the signals that I'm sexually interested in theses girls.. he said I should just grab her hand or just kiss her and act like nothing happen.. but how do I show sexual interest with a girl I just met ? I can't do those things with a stranger it would scare her.... Mark Manson does an exceptional job at not only explaining what it means to be vulnerable, but also how vulnerability plays out in your interactions with women. U'll find the two articles below quite enlightening and insightful (more so than anything I could say here): http://markmanson.net/vulnerability "As a quick refresher, vulnerability is consciously choosing to NOT hide your emotions or desires from others. This can be as simple as complimenting someone on how good they look, approaching an attractive stranger you don’t know, establishing clear and strong boundaries, or expressing your undying love to someone." Vulnerability is what is meant by being one's authentic self. You are you in spite of what others think. Your existence is not contingent on another's acceptance of you. So you're free from outcome of any particular interaction. What does this mean? You liberate yourself from trying to 'fix' anyone (but yourself), including the women you are with. In doing so that means when there's a fight you know when to walk and once things cool to address matters if they are worth addressing - you are not pulled in by pouting, temper tantrums, or any other type of protest behavior. You do not try to OWN another person's pain to alleviate your own feelings of discomfort and insecurity. You simply BE. You are also honest in declaring your intentions both to yourself and to others. This is also what's meant by living authentically - you act in accordance with how you feel - more specifically you aren't afraid to ask others to HELP you meet a need; there are no games, no dancing around issues or manipulations such as inducing shame or guilt to get something you want from someone which most of us learn as children. Being vulnerable does not mean sharing your sob stories in hopes to get sympathy from another. It means giving another person a window into your soul and what they do with that is really up to them - they can take you or leave you, it doesn't matter. If you currently don't like yourself, this will need some examination and change as u'll struggle to have healthy relationships with people. Remember the ONLY real important relationship, first and foremost, is the one you have with yourself. http://markmanson.net/vulnerability-and ... tive-women In this article pay particular attention to the 4 examples as to how men respond to manipulative women and the key distinctions between each. In all 4 circumstances the woman is the same, but each guy responds differently to the situation depending on how in touch he is with himself (and by extension how vulnerable he is). |
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| Author: | n2thevoid [ Fri Jul 10, 2015 7:59 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: two questions |
2) This will actually happen more (declaring your interest) more when you address 1), that is being vulnerable with yourself. As a byproduct become more comfortable in your own skin and embrace your masculinity - which is WHAT woman want. And by no coincidence that which is most healthy for you is what also attracts others - WOW, what a concept. It's win/win. Become the best version of yourself you can be FOR YOU, and as a symptom attract others. Women want a man who isn't pleasing HER, but actually knows how to please HIMSELF. This is DETRIMENTAL to being successful with women. By being cool with YOU, you're not going to feel apprehension about declaring your interest to her (e.g., telling her you enjoy her company, flirting, holding her hand, 'breaking her balls' etc.). Why? You can take her or leave her. If she rejects you so what you move onto the next and you don't personalize it because hey, not everyone is meant to hookup with each other but you know there are countless other girls out there who'd love to be the girl desired by you. At this point this should be making sense to you. Just imagine right now in this moment...HOW different would you be living your life if REJECTION meant nothing to you? Imagine the word rejection had no meaning, you have no concept of it much like trying to describe chocolate to somebody who's never had it before - they don't even know what they're missing, truly. Actually in fact they don't feel they're missing out on a damn thing as they have nothing really to compare it to experience-wise. |
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