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Closing Too Aggressively
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Author:  JHA91 [ Thu May 14, 2015 12:58 am ]
Post subject:  Closing Too Aggressively
Hey guys,

One of the problems I'm having with game in general (night and day) is that after I have made the initial approach (usually a cold approach) the conversation I make is quite minimal before I freak out and worry that she might get bored by the convo so try and get a number, a kiss, whatever.

For example, here's a sample conversation I might have:

ME: you won't drink me under the table I, miss, am far stronger than the bitter liquid
GIRL: Well it hasn't beat me yet, and neither has any one man :)
ME: that's because those men are pussies
GIRL: Maybe. Though I like to think I have the willpower of a god
ME: if we are gods then I'm Zeus you're Hera, and Zeus doesn't fuck around with mixers and alcopops lady
GIRL: I'm offended you'd even say that
ME: get on the tequila and maybe we can talk once you've upgraded to absynthe
GIRL: You're assuming I don't drink absinthe? Underestimating me is your first mistake
ME (trying to move too fast): well I guess there is only one way to find out

Now this is online, so it's not the same as real life game (I'd be the FUCKING. BOMB. if I could drop these lines in real time) but it reflects my overall mentality when I do approaches. The other day, I asked a girl where the nearest place was to do fruit smoothies and before I knew it I was trying to take her straight there on an instant date rather than progress smoothly to a different subject.

It's just too explosive, too direct. Too wham bham, thank you mam. Some guys might say this kind of game is good game but it's not congruent enough with my character. Not yet. I need to figure out how to sustain conversation for a bit longer and work on micro-escalation more. So my question is: do you guys have any tips?

Ok thanks all.
Author:  WillEdward [ Thu May 14, 2015 7:23 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Closing Too Aggressively
You already know the root of your problem. You're rushing to get the number or kiss for fear that the conversation will go bad. Calibrate and just game her normally and take action when it's appropriate. It's best to number close her at a high point in the interaction after you've qualified her and built enough attraction. If I can't or don't plan on instant dating or pulling her later, I will say something like this while she is laughing or in a great mood, "Hey, you seem pretty cool. We should (some activity) sometime." She will usually agree and the I tell her to text me her number now. I'll know I have the right number and she has already invested more than me by sending the first text.
Author:  JHA91 [ Thu May 14, 2015 7:51 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Closing Too Aggressively
Quote:
You already know the root of your problem. You're rushing to get the number or kiss for fear that the conversation will go bad.
That's the thing, the conversation often does go stale and FAST, because I just talk the most inane shit that comes to my head sometimes. So in those situations my reasoning is, "might as well make a move and take my chances before shit conversation has a chance to kick in". It's like, I do this when I reach a stage at which my guestimate is that we have already reached the highest point that the conversation is likely to reach with normal calibration. So at this stage some form of direct escalation is required just to have some remote possibility at sealing the deal.
Author:  WillEdward [ Thu May 14, 2015 8:42 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Closing Too Aggressively
If you get her talking about herself and make her feel good about it, the conversation won't go stale she will find the it interesting because everybody's favorite topic is themselves. I used to fall into the pattern of just talking about random things in mind that I may find interesting but she may not. They may be polite at first and listen, but will slowly get bored if they are not familiar in the topic or haven't invested emotionally enough into you. You can also break rapport to get her attracted and engaged again.

To have her continually engaged in the conversation, qualify her and ask open-ended questions about herself or opinions. Reward her response with a relevant statement like saying something, "That's cool" or "Nice" or just nod your head, smile, and use facial expressions like you're surprised or intrigued. Relate to it and build a commonality. She will feel good that you're listening to her and giving her your approval. You can also do some escalation to reward her proportionally to the amount of emotional investment she gives. If she says something like, "I just got promoted!" You can say, "Awesome!" give her a high five. If she says something like, "I just recently broke up with my boyfriend..." You can say, "Aww..." and then give her a side hug and kiss on the cheek or temple, because she's give you more investment and making herself vulnerable. Make sense ?
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