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| Author: | itisme [ Tue May 12, 2015 9:57 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Still a chance? |
Ok, I used to uphold my principles about not trying to pick up girls in relationships. Truth is though that I'm 32 years old, and getting to know decent, beautiful SINGLE girls of about my age that also share my interests proves to be harder than I thought. Did get involved with a couple of chicks in their very early 20s (hence still single) along the way - cut a long story short - they just live in a totally different world altogether. So... started hitting on that girl in a relationship, we used to be having a really great time together. I took her out twice or three times and eventually got her to spend a night with me in a hotel. She was very skeptical and of course felt extremely guilty about it. We still had a great time and ended up having sex - in hindsight, she might have felt obliged to do it, maybe I also put too much pressure on her about it (I just don't know to he honest). On another note, things need to be moving forward, right? Thing is that it sent all the wrong signals about me and my intentions, so she decided that we needed to stop seeing each other (and seemed to be very determined about it). I honestly thought about texting her that I was sorry about having seduced her and that we shouldn't have had sex with her still being officially committed to someone else, but that seems to be sending all the wrong signals... Is there anything I could possibly undertake to turn this around? |
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| Author: | JackZero [ Tue May 12, 2015 10:38 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Still a chance? |
I think apologizing sends the wrong message and it turns you into the bad guy for a decision that both of you made. She had free will. She decided to hang out with you on multiple occasions. She agreed to spend the night in a hotel with a man while being in a relationship with another. Can you fix it? Yes, but don't put too much effort into it. If it were me, I'd let her know that I understand where she was coming from but at the same time I'd double down and let her know that I'm glad it happened and not show remorse. Give her some space...if she liked the sex and she liked being around you, she'll be back. |
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| Author: | Eddie Fews [ Wed May 13, 2015 12:19 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Still a chance? |
Quote: I think apologizing sends the wrong message and it turns you into the bad guy for a decision that both of you made. She had free will. She decided to hang out with you on multiple occasions. She agreed to spend the night in a hotel with a man while being in a relationship with another.
Couldn't of said it better myself.Can you fix it? Yes, but don't put too much effort into it. If it were me, I'd let her know that I understand where she was coming from but at the same time I'd double down and let her know that I'm glad it happened and not show remorse. Give her some space...if she liked the sex and she liked being around you, she'll be back. +1 What affect do you expect saying sorry to have exactly? You think thats going to make her say " Oh you're sorry? Forget my boyfriend. I wanna be with YOU now" ?? You'd only be reaffirming what she's been debating with herself. How long has it be since her decision? |
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| Author: | ImPhilosopher [ Wed May 13, 2015 3:01 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Still a chance? |
Quote: Quote: I think apologizing sends the wrong message and it turns you into the bad guy for a decision that both of you made. She had free will. She decided to hang out with you on multiple occasions. She agreed to spend the night in a hotel with a man while being in a relationship with another.
Couldn't of said it better myself.Can you fix it? Yes, but don't put too much effort into it. If it were me, I'd let her know that I understand where she was coming from but at the same time I'd double down and let her know that I'm glad it happened and not show remorse. Give her some space...if she liked the sex and she liked being around you, she'll be back. +1 What affect do you expect saying sorry to have exactly? You think thats going to make her say " Oh you're sorry? Forget my boyfriend. I wanna be with YOU now" ?? You'd only be reaffirming what she's been debating with herself. How long has it be since her decision? |
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| Author: | Jay (Majik) [ Wed May 13, 2015 4:45 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Still a chance? |
You didn't seduce her... You trick fucked her. If you "seduced" her, she would have liked it. It seems like you made her feel pretty uncomfortable and "used" would be the best word I can think of. |
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| Author: | itisme [ Wed May 13, 2015 6:05 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Still a chance? |
Quote: You didn't seduce her... You trick fucked her.
Hm, she seemed to be enjoying it until the bad conscience took over... If you "seduced" her, she would have liked it. It seems like you made her feel pretty uncomfortable and "used" would be the best word I can think of. Come to think of it, there might be a grain of truth to that theory though. -- I just don't know how to go about it altogether. I'm trying to take it easy, but just going back to normal (texting back and forth) doesn't seem to be sending the right signals, or does it? Shouldn't she be putting more effort into it, I mean, in the end it was her who dumped me, telling me that we had to stop seeing each other [We then kissed goodbye and she melted in front of my eyes]. If I didn't give her the cold shoulder after what's happened, wouldn't that in a way tell her that it's OK to treat me like that resulting in her losing respect for me? Should she be making the next moves? Or am I totally barking up the wrong tree here? Any advice appreciated, I'm kinda stumped. Cheers, me. |
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| Author: | itisme [ Thu May 14, 2015 8:09 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Still a chance? |
Quote:
Both are right stop being needy and let her invest in you.
So, to what extent should I be taking the initiative?
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| Author: | itisme [ Fri May 15, 2015 10:00 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Still a chance? |
Really? Nobody? Oh, and it's a week ago that we f*****, Haven't had contact since. |
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| Author: | ILoveLaura [ Wed May 20, 2015 3:16 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Still a chance? |
Quote: If I didn't give her the cold shoulder after what's happened, wouldn't that in a way tell her that it's OK to treat me like that resulting in her losing respect for me?
You didn't say before that you gave her the shoulder. I wouldn't say that you were treated unfairly. You got one for free. The boyfriend was treated unfairly. Even if he never finds out, he'll still have consequences in some shape or form.Tell me, was there any defining moment along the way of the seduction process, where she said something like "No I've a boyfriend" or "Oh, so you're trying to take me to a hotel room now?"? Or did it just all happen naturally? |
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| Author: | monicabacker [ Sat Apr 30, 2016 1:38 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Still a chance? |
contact robinsonbuckler AT yahoo Dot com or Text 1 971-512-TALK (6745) and you will have your lover back within 3 days. |
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| Author: | dicemaster [ Sat Apr 30, 2016 2:01 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Still a chance? |
You missed the dynamics of relationship. Some chicks don't wanna fuck you till they have relationship with you. According to your description about her it is obvious she felt obligation for sex and did it just because. So age difference shitty issue for most women take that as a problem for both ways. Your situation is not so special after all. As i were you, i would not make pressure on her by calling often, rather leave that chick by her own. Take your change again by calling a week later at least. |
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| Author: | Arch Stanton [ Sun May 01, 2016 1:54 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Still a chance? |
Quote:
Truth is though that I'm 32 years old, and getting to know decent, beautiful SINGLE girls of about my age that also share my interests proves to be harder than I thought.
It is difficult, especially finding non-naggy 30 somethings.Quote: Did get involved with a couple of chicks in their very early 20s (hence still single) along the way - cut a long story short - they just live in a totally different world altogether.
Yeah but I still prefer the mentality/open mindedness. Every 30-something I've hooked up with has had an agenda. It's a turn off.Quote: Is there anything I could possibly undertake to turn this around?
Chill out! Don't do anything right now. She's mulling things over. Let her contact you when she gets bored of her boyfriend (she will, because she's done this with you before).Don't apologize for shit. Hang back. If you don't hear from her in a week, send her a non-needy text, like a joke or something. |
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