PUA Forum :: Extreme desperation

Quote:

Do you have any idea what it is about your social skills that might be below average? Can you ask someone to give you their honest opinion? I think you need to really think about it and make a list of specific things you want to improve and then make a choice about what needs to be taken care of first. For example, it might be a good idea to take care of your communication skills before concentrating on pickup skills. I don't know, I'm kind of pulling this shit out of my ass...

I hope you can figure it out, but remember that everyone has their issues and everyone goes through good and bad seasons in their lives.

All the mods tell me that my conversation are awkward and boring, but I don't how to change them dramatically. I have tried for several years to drastically improve my social skills, and very little of the work I've has paid off. I don't see what the point of living is anymore.

Author:	REG720 [ Sun May 10, 2015 6:57 am ]
Post subject:	Extreme desperation
I've put an unbelievable amount of effort in all of this, and I am not only striving for perfect ten girls, or even 9s (I'd be happy to get an 8 or 7, or someone who is reasonably attractive for my first lay). I get that it's largely a numbers game, hence the outcome of a social and/or pickup situation can never be totally within my own control. However, given my constant failures with women (after over 110 approaches) I not only believe that all of my fears of rejection, dating, women etc. have been well-founded, but I also have come to believe that my overall social skills must be below average, despite having tried so hard for several years to improve them. Furthermore, I am a 27 year old virgin. As a result, I've lately become so worried about all of this that my social and sexual self-esteem has gone down tremendously (even though all of the practice and effort I've put into pickup, dating, and socializing was supposed to produce the opposite effect). In fact, the crippling effects on my ego have sadly interfered with my concentration in practically all other areas of my life, including my academic studies, work, and extracurricular activities. Online dating has also completely failed for me. I have tried using practically every pick up method and concept from A to Z. I have even tried Chiefs seductive introvert program, for months alreadyAdditionally, my model looks and highly toned physique have been completely useless along with all of the accomplishments I have ever made. Oh, just so you know, I have seen a psychiatrist and therapists for several years already for my anxiety and depression related issues. I don't know wtf to do. I have never this hopeless before in my entire life. I almost want to end my life to end this god damn nightmare. Please help me ASAP.

Author:	threadstarter [ Sun May 10, 2015 1:51 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Extreme desperation
Do you have any idea what it is about your social skills that might be below average? Can you ask someone to give you their honest opinion? I think you need to really think about it and make a list of specific things you want to improve and then make a choice about what needs to be taken care of first. For example, it might be a good idea to take care of your communication skills before concentrating on pickup skills. I don't know, I'm kind of pulling this shit out of my ass... I hope you can figure it out, but remember that everyone has their issues and everyone goes through good and bad seasons in their lives.

Author:	REG720 [ Sun May 10, 2015 7:55 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Extreme desperation
Quote: Do you have any idea what it is about your social skills that might be below average? Can you ask someone to give you their honest opinion? I think you need to really think about it and make a list of specific things you want to improve and then make a choice about what needs to be taken care of first. For example, it might be a good idea to take care of your communication skills before concentrating on pickup skills. I don't know, I'm kind of pulling this shit out of my ass... I hope you can figure it out, but remember that everyone has their issues and everyone goes through good and bad seasons in their lives. All the mods tell me that my conversation are awkward and boring, but I don't how to change them dramatically. I have tried for several years to drastically improve my social skills, and very little of the work I've has paid off. I don't see what the point of living is anymore.

Author:	threadstarter [ Tue May 12, 2015 8:38 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Extreme desperation
Quote: Quote: Do you have any idea what it is about your social skills that might be below average? Can you ask someone to give you their honest opinion? I think you need to really think about it and make a list of specific things you want to improve and then make a choice about what needs to be taken care of first. For example, it might be a good idea to take care of your communication skills before concentrating on pickup skills. I don't know, I'm kind of pulling this shit out of my ass... I hope you can figure it out, but remember that everyone has their issues and everyone goes through good and bad seasons in their lives. All the mods tell me that my conversation are awkward and boring, but I don't how to change them dramatically. I have tried for several years to drastically improve my social skills, and very little of the work I've has paid off. I don't see what the point of living is anymore. To make conversations less boring you can talk about unusual things. Ask someone what their favorite fruit is for example. Or what animal they would be if they were an animal. Then ask WHY. Or find ways to relate to the person you're talking to -- that way even if someone else considers it "boring" you will have made some kind of connection to the person you're interacting with. Pay attention to the other person and make assumptions about them. For example "you seem like the kind of person who thrives more with one-on-one conversations" or "you look lost" to a random person. But only if you actually believe these things. But the most important thing is not what you say, it's HOW you say it. Body language actually does most of the talking for us. That includes not only the way you use your body in interactions, but also your tone of voice. Be aware of these things and be aware of them in others so you can make deeper connections with them. I would suggest reading a book about body language. There is a pretty good book by Vanessa Van Edwards called "Human Lie Detection & Body Language 101."

Author:	hugge [ Tue May 12, 2015 10:13 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Extreme desperation
Hmm... You seem to be stuck in a negative spiral, and you have to break it somehow. I believe it goes like this... You feel depressed over your situation, lack confidence due to lack of results, feel uninspired during conversations, which is perceived as boring, and you become even more depressed, and round it goes. Right? My first advice would be to take a break from pickup and only focus on having interesting conversations with people. Try to find people that shares your interests and it will be much easier to find things to talk about. If you find it hard to relate to whatever topic that's discussed, it's natural to lose interest and get bored (and boring). You can "stay in the game" so to speak by asking questions, try to look interested and let the other person do the talking. That way you'll maybe learn something new and find it easier to relate to the same topic again in the future. Anyway, the goal is to get into a conversation where you feel inspired and enthusiastic and have lots of things to say. Another advice would be to break the negative thought spiral by forcing yourself into positive thinking. Do it all the time, 24/7. As soon as you find yourself thinking negative thoughts, give yourself a slap and name at least 3 positive things with your current situation. With time, you'll find it easier. And the easier it gets, the happier you become, and the more energy you'll have. When that day comes and you feel happy is the day you start approaching girls again.

PUA Forum https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/

Extreme desperation https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=190251	Page 1 of 1

Page 1 of 1	All times are UTC
Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group http://www.phpbb.com/