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What to do next? Advice needed
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Author:  hl222 [ Mon Apr 20, 2015 7:51 pm ]
Post subject:  What to do next? Advice needed
Hi, I'm new to this forum.. was wondering if I could get some advice.

Recently me and gf got into an argument and we ended up saying some nasty things to each other. A few days ago, I was caught off guard as she wanted to meet in person and basically started crying and wanted to "downgrade" our relationship to just "dating." When I got home I was surprised to notice that she unfriended me on Facebook and then also blocked me from another social media site. I felt then that she just dumped me. She sent me a text message with a question after I got home, but I didn't respond yet and it's been 3 days with no contact.

I'm considering to continue the no-contact strategy or soft nexting. Any thoughts?
Author:  WillEdward [ Mon Apr 20, 2015 8:55 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: What to do next? Advice needed
How long have you guys been together?

What was the argument about and what was the text she sent?
Author:  hl222 [ Mon Apr 20, 2015 9:17 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: What to do next? Advice needed
Quote:
How long have you guys been together?

What was the argument about and what was the text she sent?
8 months approximately.. basically the whole argument boiled down to her thinking I was not putting enough effort into her the whole time and my "bad attitude". However, she never communicates her dissatisfaction with me because she hates to show her emotions and likes to hide it inside. Therefore, I had no idea I was pissing her off the entire time. so, the other day she just exploded like a ticking time bomb..

As for the text...
she just asked me whether I was back home safely in a sarcastic manner.. ("hmm you're back home safely i hope? lolll")

I haven't responded to that yet. Should I soft next or no contact?
Author:  WillEdward [ Tue Apr 21, 2015 4:13 am ]
Post subject:  Re: What to do next? Advice needed
It's already been 3 days of no contact. I wouldn't acknowledged that she unfriended or blocked you. You can contact her again and act like nothing happened. Don't fall into her frame that you're just "dating". Her behaviors will speak more than her words.
Author:  ImPhilosopher [ Tue Apr 21, 2015 4:43 am ]
Post subject:  Re: What to do next? Advice needed
Wait atleast for a week let her think about you all the time like why you not sending any msg.

This her who did all the blocking thing so she expecting answer from you but didnt send any msg she will be like under your spell. Like you have another thing to do which are very imp for you.


"Your greatest power in seduction is your ability to turn away, to make others come after you, delaying their satisfaction"

"The ability to delay satisfaction is the ultimate art of seduction"

--Philosopher
Author:  DominicKrow [ Tue Apr 21, 2015 2:57 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: What to do next? Advice needed
Take a little rest man!
Write nothing to her!
I've just broken up my 8 months relationships exactly this way!
She blocked me everywhere - no reaction, so she called me in 3 days!
Than again the same!
Looks like a circus man!
Just calm down and w8!
Go out with your friends, take a little date and you'll see, if she needs you, she will call
trust me
Author:  hugge [ Tue Apr 21, 2015 5:50 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: What to do next? Advice needed
From the answers here it seems as if I'm the only one with some actual experience. No offense though... My thoughts on this is that you should listen to her and learn from you mistakes. She did wrong by not reacting immediately, just playing along until she exploded, called "the ketchup effect" in psychology. But you must have done wrong by not putting any effort in your relationship. A relationship requires WORK, and you need to work hard to keep it alive! And it requires compromises. But that's an area not covered here, since this is a pickup community. I've been in a 10 year long relationship before, so I know that deal. And I barely had time to be single (and learn game) until I met my current wife, in an epic(!!!) pickup. So I know that deal too. (Just trying to sound trustworthy here). ;)

My tip to you is to send her a text and say "You're right, we should not be together" and move on with you life, find someone else. I say so because I can tell she is not that important to you, from your post.

Good luck!
Author:  Eddie Fews [ Tue Apr 21, 2015 7:28 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: What to do next? Advice needed
What did her message say?

I had a girl act out the exact same behavior in the past. She wasn't feeling secure enough, and was feeling like I could leave her at any moment so her way of protecting herself was to exit the relationship before i evidently hurt her.

I pretty much did what you did and then called her on the 4th day while feeling sensitive. And told her I care about her and wanted to be together. We were together, but I should of took the out when I had it. She was adopted and had many daddy and mommy issues. Cool as hell outside of a relationship, but completely emotionally dependent while in one.

Truth be told though.. If you just play it cool and say something like " You want that too!? I think thats a great idea. Lets do it!" she won't be able to handle the thought of you being free while she's emotionally attached after about a week. She'll break. Or you can do what I did back then and just call her and tell her how you feel.

Option A: will make it so you find her unattractive and lose some interest once she breaks.
Option B: The discomfort ends, and she'll be happy, and you'll feel iffy about the whole thing.


Option A also includes continuing your no contact and sticking to the decision you made until she breaks. She reacted a little too dramatic for someone who isn't going to return after a bit of time.

I've been on both ends, its your call.
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