Now she says she DOESNT WANT ME. But i managed to convince her to remain friends on SPAM

There are a couple things that need adjusting here..

Your desire to marry a girl that you barely know anything about other than the fact that she is "very pretty" would instantly reflect that you don't want a WIFE, you in fact just want an object. Just as a man would sought out a luxury car.

You want a possession and as a result you've become obsessed because you can not easily control this possession to do as you wish.

Just imagine if you're car would just drive on its own, driving wherever it wanted to despite which way you turned the steering wheel. You would probably react this same way. You would become compulsive because that which you POSSESS in your own mind is behaving the way you want it to. Or the way that its supposed to according to you.

This is the problem with men with money. But people cannot be possessed, unless you're talking slavery. So you may want to consider whether you want a wife or a pretty slave.

Second,

Your continuous pursuit of someone who has shown a clear disinterest is only reflecting your lack of emotional maturity. If you're behaving in this manner only having met her once, what on earth are you going to do if she sleeps with you? Or after meeting 3-4 times? Naturally your behavior would only multiply by the amount of times she seen you if you're behaving this way after only seeing her once.

My only advice to you is to learn to let go.

Its one of those things that hurt now, but help later. And sometimes you have to take 1 step back to take two steps forward.

There are a couple things that need adjusting here..

Your desire to marry a girl that you barely know anything about other than the fact that she is "very pretty" would instantly reflect that you don't want a WIFE, you in fact just want an object. Just as a man would sought out a luxury car.

You want a possession and as a result you've become obsessed because you can not easily control this possession to do as you wish.

Just imagine if you're car would just drive on its own, driving wherever it wanted to despite which way you turned the steering wheel. You would probably react this same way. You would become compulsive because that which you POSSESS in your own mind is behaving the way you want it to. Or the way that its supposed to according to you.

This is the problem with men with money. But people cannot be possessed, unless you're talking slavery. So you may want to consider whether you want a wife or a pretty slave.

Second,

Your continuous pursuit of someone who has shown a clear disinterest is only reflecting your lack of emotional maturity. If you're behaving in this manner only having met her once, what on earth are you going to do if she sleeps with you? Or after meeting 3-4 times? Naturally your behavior would only multiply by the amount of times she seen you if you're behaving this way after only seeing her once.

My only advice to you is to learn to let go.

Its one of those things that hurt now, but help later. And sometimes you have to take 1 step back to take two steps forward.

There are a couple things that need adjusting here..

Your desire to marry a girl that you barely know anything about other than the fact that she is "very pretty" would instantly reflect that you don't want a WIFE, you in fact just want an object. Just as a man would sought out a luxury car.

Hi Eddie/ Et All,
Thanks for replying. Actually i was saying she was very pretty only in reference to why i acted needy and because i have been working like crazy for last month or so and my social skills had gone real bad. I do like many things about her education qualification she is a doctor, her family , her overall behavior. And as JackZero said it is more of a cultural issue.

Why? In India(or in my community/caste to be specific) we still do not meet the girl that many times before marriage. We guys have to make the decision usually in one meeting only (we tend to place more importance , and are expected to also,on girls education, family background, her looks and thats about it) .That's the maximum what a girls parents allow here. Although the girls are becoming more modern in the outlook her parents wouldn't . Tell you something... my parents didn't even meet each other once before marriage and they got married still (they were setup by their parents) and they are happy after so many years together.


Coming to my question: I don't have oneitis but the issue is there arent too many girls in my community who are good looking and well qualified. It is not a conventional dating scene where i can move to other girls because i HAVE to search within my caste only . Why? if i marry outside my cast my parents would have to face social cut-off in the community. I don't want that either they are old and i dont want to hurt them. And even if i get a girl from other caste her parents might refuse eventually for the same reason.

@CharlesFinley i wanted to remain friends with her because thats the only way we can remain in touch and i wanted to lower her guard .

How do i attract her back is still the question . I know it is difficult but i am sure you guys can suggest something. I have few hobbies like photography, cycling, dancing. I am regularly updating my SPAM display picture which shows i am having a good fun time socially. I am more focussed on my work and going ahead with my purpose in life.

I would probably go with a more direct route. How I would handle it is by taking advantage of the time constraint that you have and a slight explanation for the actions taken that caused her to feel that way. Basically tell her that you were into her and that because you knew that you didn't have enough time in India that you came off eager and that's actually out of your character. Since you have only a few weeks left that you just want to meet up for (insert something casual), just because regardless of how things turned out earlier that you guys did actually get along and it would be a shame if you left India without at least being friends. If she agrees to meet up, work it from there.

You could always try again inn 2 weeks month or so, but I'd say now isn't the time to make any moves. Show your security and just continuing being the guy you were before her.

Hey Kunwar, tell me what you know about her. What does she like, what are her hobbies, what is she looking for in a husband?