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Regaining control / Interest
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Author:  Steve8989 [ Mon Feb 09, 2015 10:55 am ]
Post subject:  Regaining control / Interest

Hi guys, any advice you could give would be massively appreciated. I'll try and keep it short.

Started talking to a girl online beginning of January. Well actually very briefly in December but I had other things going on and was quite distant. Most likely what gained interest in the first place.
So we started talking online beginning of January, got on really well, share a lot of humour and she was giving off good signs. She lives 40 miles away from me and works a lot (as do I) so meeting up was tricky. She also went back to Europe to her home country for over a week so we decided to arrange it for when she got back.

I should also mention at this point she is seeing someone else, casually, and she says its nothing serious and you can tell she doesn't care too much.

We did talk a lot for 3 weeks or so (probably an idiot move on my part, being too available etc) and then we went on the date.

It couldn't have gone better, we had a great time, conversation flowed, I introduced lots of kino and it was natural. Because we knew a lot about each other before it seemed to go a lot better and didn't feel awkward at all.

We did have quite a few drinks and I ended up back at her place, done the deed & she was all over me. Next morning I have to get up early for work, she pulls me back to bed and is still all over me. A good sign it wasn't just a drunken fumble. I should mention it was the best by FAR I've ever had. She has really got into my head after the date.

Then for the next 3 days straight she seems very cold with me. Something had changed (in my mind anyway) - I played it cool before finally cracking and asking her yesterday what her deal was. (another amateur move on my part)

She said she had work blah blah blah, but she still doesn't talk as much as she did. I don't chase as I obviously don't want to come off as needy but I feel by getting angry about her being off I have shown my hand too early. Whereas I had ALL the power over the last month, I now feel she has it.

She said she needs to "clear her head" and to give her time. She has to work a lot over the next 2 weeks so we don't have a chance to meet up. Not sure I can win it back with text game solely as it has been going on for ages already. She said I "over-think" everything & should just chill out, which I did... and maybe have blown my chance?

How can I regain the control?

Any ideas what may have happened?

EDIT

Should also mention that yesterday I was being distant with her all day, she sent a message
asking why I was ignoring her, I didn't reply until I got home at 12:30am last night (i was genuinely busy!) - I replied just saying "only just seen this, sorry"

She was straight back and told me about a family problem that had just happened that day, it was quite sad and I couldn't be so cold as to not speak to her! She got me. I dont want to be the F**king shoulder to cry on!!!

Is it worth sending a text just saying sorry about yesterday, make up something about why I was in a bad mood etc and distance myself, tell her to forget what I said? (seeing as its the only time I've come across in that way?)

Author:  Greggomatik [ Mon Feb 09, 2015 8:44 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Regaining control / Interest

If you were actually bust then why make up some bullshit story to try and kiss her ass. What you can be busy as she has been busy. Don't even bring up yesterday. If she does just give the same tone to her as he does to you when she talks about being busy. Don't play into her like you want

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