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Best friends, I want more, she feels lonely. what to do?
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Author:  duderator [ Mon Nov 10, 2014 11:06 am ]
Post subject:  Best friends, I want more, she feels lonely. what to do?
Hello, gentleman.

Here is a brief rundown:

The girl in question is my best friend for about a year and a half.

We have great chemistry, text daily, hang out almost daily. She has a history of bad relationships and ended one very recently. On top of that she just lost her job.

As you would expect she feels like crap and frequently turns to me for confort. She told me herself I'm the person she knows better and who knows her better. She also told me she doesn't even want to meet new people because of all the people who desapointed her in the past, and we hang out all the time so it's kind of a golden oportunity.

Now, the bad part. She responds well to some kino but sooner or later always puts a stop on it. There was some atraction when we first met, she responded better to kino back then but I failed to act on it.

Now, we have a lot more confort and mutual trust and I get the clear feeling she is afraid to lose that. She told me she "is not datable" always messes up her relationships and ends up being hurt, so it's like she believes she will lose me if there ever is something between us.

So, a) how do I spark some phisical atraction and b) how do I make her see I'm really intersted and I don't want to just fuck her and dump her?

Thank you for reading.
Author:  Chief [ Mon Nov 10, 2014 11:19 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Best friends, I want more, she feels lonely. what to do?
Quote:
So, a) how do I spark some phisical atraction
Sleep with other women.
Quote:
and b) how do I make her see I'm really intersted and I don't want to just fuck her and dump her?
Sleep with other women (like 10) and THEN make her feel special.

Trust me, it'll work.

I know it's not the answer you wanted to hear, but it's the right answer that you NEED to hear and FOLLOW.
Author:  Versalis [ Mon Nov 10, 2014 1:20 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Best friends, I want more, she feels lonely. what to do?
Really, sleeping with ONE is probably enough. I've never seen a dude who's cleared even 3-4 that was still stuck on one girl, and most of the time he's pretty much clear after one. Sometimes a few makeouts without even sex seems to fix it.
Author:  Eddie Fews [ Mon Nov 10, 2014 7:17 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Best friends, I want more, she feels lonely. what to do?
Why do you want her all of a sudden? And/or have you secretly always wanted to be with her and just played her best friend in hopes of an opportunity?

And if thats not the case, then why would you want to risk your great friendship with her for a little temporary affection?

When a girl tells you that she is crazy or undatable believe her. A girl tells me that an I walk away instantly. I've learned that lesson far too many times.
Author:  fishnwomen [ Tue Nov 11, 2014 3:40 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Best friends, I want more, she feels lonely. what to do?
Make yourself less available to her. Don't respond to her texts right away. When she asks to hang out, you say you are too busy.

Sleep with other women as mentioned. Be seen with flirting with women in front of her, but don't flaunt it in her face.

Make more physical contact. A lot more.

Give her the laser eyes- that screams sexual confidence.

If she becomes very comfortable with your contact, go in for the kiss.

Even all of this may not work. She has effectively made you her girlfriend from what it sounds like. Man up.

Look to see if she starts acting warmer to you in a sexual way. See if he starts acting different. It CAN be done.
Author:  duderator [ Tue Nov 11, 2014 9:55 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Best friends, I want more, she feels lonely. what to do?
Thank you all. Two more questions:

Can you elaborate on the "laser eyes" thing? What exactly is it?

Exactly how do I go about the fuck other girls thing? I mean, I know how to fuck a girl but how do I make sure my friend knows about it without sounding sleezy?

Eddie F, thank you for your advice on preventing me from making a mistake but I'm still going for it.

Thanks!
Author:  CharlesFinley [ Tue Nov 11, 2014 2:11 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Best friends, I want more, she feels lonely. what to do?
Quote:
Thank you all. Two more questions:

Can you elaborate on the "laser eyes" thing? What exactly is it?

Exactly how do I go about the fuck other girls thing? I mean, I know how to fuck a girl but how do I make sure my friend knows about it without sounding sleezy?

Eddie F, thank you for your advice on preventing me from making a mistake but I'm still going for it.

Thanks!

Sleeping with other girls is more about you than about her.

Sleep with a few girls and this one will seem much less important to you.

If she sees that you've been around other girls and sleeping with them - all the better... But it's a fine line... you don't want to go plastering photos all over Facebook of the chicks you're sleeping with. That's just waving it in her face. Needs to be subtle.
Author:  duderator [ Fri Nov 14, 2014 12:28 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Best friends, I want more, she feels lonely. what to do?
That fine line is what I need to define. Any sugestions?
Author:  Versalis [ Fri Nov 14, 2014 11:30 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Best friends, I want more, she feels lonely. what to do?
Worry about it after you've slept with them
Author:  Danny55 [ Sat Nov 15, 2014 12:11 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Best friends, I want more, she feels lonely. what to do?
She doesn't want you to fuck her. If you even try it on with her, she'll feel worse than shit and you will lose her for good. Are you guys fucking dumb? She has told you over and over again that she values your friendship so fucking get over yourself dude. Not all girls want to be fucked by their best friend and confidante. Get a girlfriend and keep her as your best friend and grow the fuck up. You will disappoint the hell out of her if you make moves on her and we'll suffer for it because she'll say all guys are the fucking same. Always thinking about their fucking dicks.
Author:  JimmyC [ Sat Nov 15, 2014 2:08 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Best friends, I want more, she feels lonely. what to do?
Quote:
She doesn't want you to fuck her. If you even try it on with her, she'll feel worse than shit and you will lose her for good. Are you guys fucking dumb? She has told you over and over again that she values your friendship so fucking get over yourself dude. Not all girls want to be fucked by their best friend and confidante. Get a girlfriend and keep her as your best friend and grow the fuck up. You will disappoint the hell out of her if you make moves on her and we'll suffer for it because she'll say all guys are the fucking same. Always thinking about their fucking dicks.
I hate to agree with trolls - and having read a few of this person's past posts, this is definitely a troll - but nevertheless Danny55 is more or less correct. She views you only as a close friend, and likely will only ever see you as that. Women don't view friendships/relationships the same way as men do - they box guys in categories more definitively than men do with women. You will be viewed as either a guy she'd have sex with, or become friends with, off the first meeting. If you two haven't made out/etc after the first month of hanging out, it's not going anywhere sexually.

She even talks about dating other guys with you... It's not to make you jealous, but because she is emotionally comfortable with you. Emotionally comfortable is not the same as sexual attraction.

If you're interested in a relationship with her, then come forward and tell her, but be prepared that she'll likely not spend as much time with you, if any, afterwards. Will be too awkward, or the two of you may get past it.

If you've only been interested in sex from the start, you could hang out, have a few drinks and let the alcohol do it's thing, but then be prepared for her regret to kick in afterwards (if anything happens), and will disappear on you.

Or you could just be good friends and let her presence in your life help you grow and develop into a man of character and strength.

Respect.
Author:  Versalis [ Sat Nov 15, 2014 5:20 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Best friends, I want more, she feels lonely. what to do?
BTW, as i can tell you're going to chase after this girl anyway...

Remove yourself from her. If she was attracted once, she can be again. But she wouldn't want to "risk the friendship". Once you stop hanging out with her, that's no longer the issue.

Stop spending time with her, stop being an emotional outlet for her. Start dating someone else, and if ever she'll be up for making you her boyfriend, that will be when she will.
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