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Why is my girlfiend still talking to her ex? Urgent
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Author:  Mr. Assertive [ Fri Sep 12, 2014 3:25 am ]
Post subject:  Why is my girlfiend still talking to her ex? Urgent
I caught her once, she claims she blocked him. But I know she messaged him first. Se wants to be friends with this dude but this dude already told her that he wants only to be intimate with her. So they stopped talking there. I told her that bothered me...she reassured me.

Now they are sendin messages, they aren't exactly nice messages but they are interacting. She made a new Facebook because of outside problems but honestly, if someone was blocked why did they send messages ice again? To gain what?

IT seems awfully clear that the guy didn't want to be just friends, but she tried anyway. It's been awhile...but once she made a new Facebook there he is again. I mean she did call him an asshole....but the whole idea of them interacting again? Isn't it pointless? Why is she even bothering with it
Author:  Jackstay [ Fri Sep 12, 2014 4:55 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Why is my girlfiend still talking to her ex? Urgent
Quote:
I caught her once, she claims she blocked him. But I know she messaged him first. Se wants to be friends with this dude but this dude already told her that he wants only to be intimate with her. So they stopped talking there. I told her that bothered me...she reassured me.

Now they are sendin messages, they aren't exactly nice messages but they are interacting. She made a new Facebook because of outside problems but honestly, if someone was blocked why did they send messages ice again? To gain what?

IT seems awfully clear that the guy didn't want to be just friends, but she tried anyway. It's been awhile...but once she made a new Facebook there he is again. I mean she did call him an asshole....but the whole idea of them interacting again? Isn't it pointless? Why is she even bothering with it
She is a woman. Women always plan for contingencies. They are strategist's and evolution makes them so. Read "Why Women Have Sex" by David Buss and Cindy Meston. Women face the predicament of being unable to defend for themselves. That's why men protect them. It's sexual dimorphism. If she finds qualities in another male more attractive than her current one (you), she will maintain contact with the ex-bf so as not to lose her ability to protect herself and the genetic lineage of her future, or current, offspring. If things go south with you she has a lifeboat with her ex-bf. The more contact she has with an ex the more likely she is to jump ship. The best thing you can do is make her want you bad (not mentioning the ex-bf as the reason for your changed behavior) or address it and make her choose. Both will make you look like a stud. Be mature and demand either "Him or me?" If it's him or she says a lot of "ums" or "buts" or qualifiers like "Why cant I be friends with him etc etc you're smothering me" don't buy it and kick her out of your life. Stay firm and grow a set. She'll respect you for it. And answer this question honestly: "Do you want her to be the mother of your kids?" Let us know how it went.

Best,


Jackstay
Author:  CharlesFinley [ Fri Sep 12, 2014 12:21 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Why is my girlfiend still talking to her ex? Urgent
Same girl you been with for the last while?

This isn't the first set of problems you've had with her...

I can see how that'd be annoying, for sure. What's her reason, though? Have you asked her? She just says "I want to be friends with him?"

I don't think it's out of the norm to have a conversation with her about this. It clearly bothers you - and she's with you, not him... You've got the right to set some boundaries with what you're comfortable with (she may not like them or agree to them, then you've got a whole new problem)...

If I had to guess, I'd say she either misses him (maybe not even intimately, just misses him as a person?), or she is getting something from him that you aren't giving her (I don't mean sex... maybe attention, compliments, who knows?)

I would straight up tell her you're not OK with it and set a clear boundary. If it's going to twist you inside out whenever she does it then either you need to change or she does.
Author:  fishnwomen [ Sun Sep 14, 2014 4:04 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Why is my girlfiend still talking to her ex? Urgent
I like these guys advice, I will add one caveat. Make sure that she doesn't perceive any jealousy from you. Pretend this guy is a nothing, even if you are worried. If she's with you, she should be worshipping you, always.

Don't try to ban her from talking to this guy, that will only make her think you are taking her freedom away, and she will perceive that as weakness from you.

One rule that I think is appropriate to have is to make sure that having drinks with this guy alone in private is inappropriate, and that in a public setting it may be okay. In other words, if she wants to meet him, she should have her friends or you around.

I made the mistake of getting jealous with my gf not too long ago. She drove me mad testing me. Don't go down that route, don't let the small shit tests get to you.
Author:  neo87 [ Sun Sep 14, 2014 4:24 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Why is my girlfiend still talking to her ex? Urgent
I always gotta ask... Where the hell are you guys meeting these women?! There are so many hot women on the planet and only a few decades of life. Talking to ex and lying about it? Next. I don't have time to worry about other dudes or trust or silly stuff. Simple rule, if I ever gotta worry about other dudes in a relationship it's not for me.
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