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| I ruined it and now I'm repairing it. Ideas? https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=183596 |
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| Author: | Doc hunter [ Wed Sep 10, 2014 2:47 pm ] |
| Post subject: | I ruined it and now I'm repairing it. Ideas? |
Hey gents, This is my first post , but actually i'm already looking around over here for a while. First of all I have to excuse myself for my bad English, I just suck at languages. So this forum and a few books I read are really improving my social skills in anyway. It helps me making understand why some people react the way they react. And how to react on them to have the response you want. On this forum there is much of information that not only can help you for picking-up girls but also can make your whole life richer and for me that's the bigger purpose. So beside this good stuff, the main reason why I've found this forum was because of a girl.. Ofcourse. And I hate myself for it day and night, but it is a one-itis. I know how everybody thinks of that and they have good reasons for that. The only thing is I just want to give it 1 more shot, so that I did what I could and nothing less. I think everybody knows that feeling. If this last shot succeeds, then that would be nice and if it fails, I'm done with her and never make any move at her again. Okay this is the story; last year I met this girl on the university. During the whole year we had a few talks and suddenly before the exams we studied together and hang out with each other. To make a long story short, I pushed it a bit to hard on the wrong time and I screwed it. This was all before I knew anything about the community, so I did what I thought was right and that was to fight for the girl you want. This worked for me before, so I thought what the hell, why not again. So here is the deal. The college year is already started and the only thing I've said to her is hello once. On moments where we normally have blabla talks, I just ignored her and did if she doesn't exists. That was sometimes harder then it sounds, because some of our friends are the same. So when I talk to one of our friends I completely ignored her. And I did a few other stuff as this, for example greet everyone except for her. Not to obviously ofcourse. My assumption for this move was, it is better to say nothing then to say anything that wouldn't interest her. So my question to you guys, what would you do in my place? or what would be a good move to make? What I already know is, that I screwed it up, I don't know if it is possible to fix it. And I rather live with the knowing that I had made a good move and fail then ask myself the question what if I did. Already thanks for the advice. Greetings Doc Hunter |
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| Author: | CharlesFinley [ Wed Sep 10, 2014 3:24 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: I ruined it and now I'm repairing it. Ideas? |
You need to tell us exactly what you did to 'push it too hard' and screw up. Impossible to help you unless we have those details. |
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| Author: | Doc hunter [ Wed Sep 10, 2014 5:49 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: I ruined it and now I'm repairing it. Ideas? |
Ah ofcourse. I told her that I wanted to know her better. And what I did was text her to much. Sometimes it looked a bit like a monologue. She said she was busy because of the exams and that was the reason why she didn't always text back. I found this a lame excuse. I think she blocked me and that the moment the bells started to ring, that this wasn't the way. In real life it was ok, the things I did wrong in real life was that I wasn't the exception on the rule, I was just as the everybody else nice to her. And I was chasing her and she wasn't chasing me. So that were the points where I screwed it in my opinion, mostly in texting. |
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| Author: | CharlesFinley [ Wed Sep 10, 2014 6:13 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: I ruined it and now I'm repairing it. Ideas? |
Ok, got it. That helps clarify things. You never actually HAD anything with this girl, right? You were not dating? You didn't sleep with her? The good news is this is a lesson for you. Push too hard, and you'll just push her away. Girls like attention, but they don't like too much attention. They also friendzone your ass as soon as you tell them verbally (or via text) that you like them or want to date them - which is what you did... So - The bad news is you have probably botched this one. You seem a little obsessed with her - and that's your issue here. You're trying too hard because she's all you can think about.... This is wrong and it showed in your messages and it creeped her out (it got you blocked). The very best thing you can do is chalk this one up to a loss and a lesson learned. Enjoy your life and find another awesome girl (there are lots of them). But -- the reality is we both know you're not going to do that. Which is a shame. You're going to hope someone here gives you an opinion you'd like to hear - like "you've still got a shot!" and suggests a radical course of action to get her back --- but you don't have a shot. Anything you do at this point is going to make it worse. The girl is creeped out by you and is being friendly and polite around you in social situations. Let it go. You'll be happier - and learned a valuable lesson here. |
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| Author: | Doc hunter [ Wed Sep 10, 2014 6:36 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: I ruined it and now I'm repairing it. Ideas? |
Thanks for the honest answer. I know you're right. I said it from the beginning I screwed it. Maybe I will do something direct verbally, just to end it for my own. But I know it, sooner or later I have to let it go, I realize that. Nice lesson |
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| Author: | Versalis [ Thu Sep 11, 2014 11:04 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: I ruined it and now I'm repairing it. Ideas? |
There is exactly one way to "fix" situations like this. First, she needs to see you with other attractive women. Second, she has to find you sexually attractive, now that you've changed. Are there little things to do along the way that might strategically help? Sure. But most of this is just whether she's into you or not. I see(mostly newer) guys in the community do this a lot. They want to date a particular girl, and when she's not that into them, they're convinced it was tactical. It rarely is. Yes, you can mess things up by doing a string of dumb things, but honestly if a girl isn't into you, it's usually YOU not the tactics that she's not that into. Guys tend to make two different "tactical" mistakes. Either they're too needy or they move too slow. Both of these things are internal issues stemming from a lack of self-confidence. So when she loses interest, it's not a tactical issue. Artifically moving faster, or being more aloof when that's not what you really want to do, will only give you a modest boost in success. Reason being, that lack of internal confidence is there and she's still going to sense it in other areas. It can certainly help a good deal for ONS, but it's not going to help with a girlfriend(what you seem to be looking for) much at all. |
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| Author: | Doc hunter [ Thu Sep 11, 2014 9:40 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: I ruined it and now I'm repairing it. Ideas? |
First of all I never mentioned I was looking for a girlfriend. Maybe if she's worth it, she can be it. Second of all, I'm already doing what you suggest, but without the intention to do it. But it's nice to know I'm doing a good job. Third of all, in your opinion I made a huge tactical mistake. I know I had a shot but I don't have it anymore. So or I have to create a new one(maybe your way), or it won't come anymore. And I'm okay with that. But thanks for the advice, maybe it will help some day. |
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