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Dating shy girls
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Author:  stundent2 [ Sun Jun 22, 2014 1:45 pm ]
Post subject:  Dating shy girls
Long story short - girl is very attracted to me. She is normally very social and outgoing but when I start talking to her, she blushes and barely says any word, only if I ask her questions. I wanted to ask her out and she said she is free next week. The problem is I'm not very talkative myself and I'm afraid we will spend the date in silence. Because whenever I had private moment with this girl it was always quite awkward because she was too nervous to talk to me. In addition I'm quite unexperienced with girls and that would be my first date. Can anyone give me some advice?
I have an idea to go bowling since then the silence won't matter as much and I will have chance to touch her.
Author:  Clocks [ Sun Jun 22, 2014 1:54 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Dating shy girls
Bowling doesn't sound too bad. Maybe try and avoid sitting face to face at any point (or at least until after the activity, so that you have something to talk about) so there's less pressure. Going for a walk at some point can be good as well
Author:  stundent2 [ Sat Jun 28, 2014 10:00 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Dating shy girls
I called her and it turned out she is out of town. She agreed to message me when she is back. In case she doesn't message me, should I message her? Or should I not do anything? I'm asking because I wouldn't be surprised if she is testing me by making me pursue her or something like that.
Author:  Animepic [ Sat Jun 28, 2014 11:58 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Dating shy girls
Quote:
Long story short - girl is very attracted to me. She is normally very social and outgoing but when I start talking to her, she blushes and barely says any word, only if I ask her questions. I wanted to ask her out and she said she is free next week. The problem is I'm not very talkative myself and I'm afraid we will spend the date in silence. Because whenever I had private moment with this girl it was always quite awkward because she was too nervous to talk to me. In addition I'm quite unexperienced with girls and that would be my first date. Can anyone give me some advice?
I have an idea to go bowling since then the silence won't matter as much and I will have chance to touch her.
This sounds like "shy girl" bullshit. It's like a contest: whoever acts the most shy has the most sexual power over the male pool. Just call her out for it: say, "stop pretending to be shy just to get men to like you." I seriously wonder what would happen. Maybe nothing good, but if she's already playing the cold-shoulder game, she probably thinks she's the shit.

The worst is when they alter their voices to a really high-pitch and act like being shy makes them self-conscious. It's the male equivalent of going to the Home Depot, buying a sledge-hammer, and taping it to your leg.
Author:  Animepic [ Sun Jun 29, 2014 12:00 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Dating shy girls
Quote:
I called her and it turned out she is out of town. She agreed to message me when she is back. In case she doesn't message me, should I message her? Or should I not do anything? I'm asking because I wouldn't be surprised if she is testing me by making me pursue her or something like that.
Bingo. She's also testing her sex-drive to see how long she can go without coitus. Her goal is forever.

I'd say, an I'm not a boy, so I don't know a good seduction trick, but from my perspective: who does she think she is? Ignore her. Delete the number. If she calls you, she calls you. On to the next.
Author:  NorthBoy [ Sun Jun 29, 2014 2:53 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Dating shy girls
@Animepic wow you're rough! Give the girl a chance :wink:

You say she is attracted to you. Let's assume it is the case. Do you know when she will be back? If yes, wait a few days after she comes back (assuming she doesn't contact you) to reinitiate contact. You need to avoid showing neediness but there's no need to wait two weeks.

Bowling sounds good to me. There is always something to do so there should not be too many awkward silences. You should also break the touch barrier fairly easily (e.g. high fives after good shots, playfully pushing her to make her miss shots, etc). I also recommend going to another place after. Moving to, for example, two places (bowling + coffee) gives the impression that it is two different dates. It is not, but you were at two different places. I don't remember exactly the reasoning behind it but just trust me on this one: It makes a huge difference. As Clocks said you will have something to talk about (bowling) if you are out of conversation topics. Don't forget the kino!

Good luck bro
Author:  NaughtyNapoleon [ Sun Jun 29, 2014 4:51 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Dating shy girls
Quote:
Long story short - girl is very attracted to me. She is normally very social and outgoing but when I start talking to her, she blushes and barely says any word, only if I ask her questions. I wanted to ask her out and she said she is free next week. The problem is I'm not very talkative myself and I'm afraid we will spend the date in silence. Because whenever I had private moment with this girl it was always quite awkward because she was too nervous to talk to me. In addition I'm quite unexperienced with girls and that would be my first date. Can anyone give me some advice?
I have an idea to go bowling since then the silence won't matter as much and I will have chance to touch her.
That's totally ok to be silent, bro. Just look at her seductively when you are both silent, smirk to her..

Let the sexual tension build up..

A girl will not want to talk much when she's horny and she think you are the man who can satisfy her needs.
In this case, she probably want you to move the interaction forward rather than keep talking.

Isolate her to your place & escalate.. that's what she want you to do;)

Hope this help,
Naughty Napoleon
Author:  Versalis [ Sun Jun 29, 2014 12:01 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Dating shy girls
^ This may be very, very good advise. But only if she's comfortable with her sexuality.

I'm just not sure exactly how inexperienced this girl is. Is she's very inexperienced, that will freak her out.

If she's inexperienced, go do something like a picnic. It gives you both a chance to get to know each other, where you have something to do, things to look at, and the ability to go for a little walk if the conversation dies. Then you can go back to your place to "watch a movie".
Quote:
Quote:
Long story short - girl is very attracted to me. She is normally very social and outgoing but when I start talking to her, she blushes and barely says any word, only if I ask her questions. I wanted to ask her out and she said she is free next week. The problem is I'm not very talkative myself and I'm afraid we will spend the date in silence. Because whenever I had private moment with this girl it was always quite awkward because she was too nervous to talk to me. In addition I'm quite unexperienced with girls and that would be my first date. Can anyone give me some advice?
I have an idea to go bowling since then the silence won't matter as much and I will have chance to touch her.
This sounds like "shy girl" bullshit. It's like a contest: whoever acts the most shy has the most sexual power over the male pool. Just call her out for it: say, "stop pretending to be shy just to get men to like you." I seriously wonder what would happen. Maybe nothing good, but if she's already playing the cold-shoulder game, she probably thinks she's the shit.

The worst is when they alter their voices to a really high-pitch and act like being shy makes them self-conscious. It's the male equivalent of going to the Home Depot, buying a sledge-hammer, and taping it to your leg.
Yes, verbally attack the girl who likes you, and inform her that you'd like her to stop acting like a woman, and instead act like a man. Clearly, what man would want a feminine girl, when he can get a dude with tits and a vag, amiright?

This is some pretty awful advise. I suggest you not offer it again.

I like higher, softer voices and so do nearly all men. I also like long hair. I like slim, fit women. I like women who wear form fitting clothes. These are very normal things that the vast majority of men like. Just because there are piles of seacows who lack a feminine trait in America, doesn't mean that's anything men actually want.

You say you like masculine men, well, most masculine men like feminine women. And when they don't, they like feminine men :mrgreen:

You want a good idea of how to attract men more, animepic? Go watch an SNSD interview and start acting more like them.
Author:  stundent2 [ Thu Jul 03, 2014 2:43 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Dating shy girls
She will be back only after a week. If we go to bowling then I guess I will have to pay. Won't I be too nice by doing that? I don't want to be the 'Nice guy'
Author:  Versalis [ Thu Jul 03, 2014 3:44 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Dating shy girls
Don't offer to pay for it. But from what you've said, I suspect you're pretty young. Possibly even in middle school. If she has no income and no money, pay for her part, and don't make it a big deal.

There are two main reasons you shouldn't generally pay for dates.

The first reason is it puts you on the boyfriend track. When you're older, you'd prefer to be on the lover track. At your age? There is no lover track. You're on the boyfriend track or the buddy track.

The second reason is that it can make her feel pressure that you spent money on her and may expect sexual affection from her as a result. This can make her more guarded throughout the interaction and is not helpful to you. This tends to be a problem that works on a scale. Anything over $10 or so, has a tinge of this. It gets progressively worse the higher up you go. That said, this is more an explanation for problems guys who try to impress women with elaborate, expensive dates run into. You aren't(and I think understand, shouldn't be) doing this.

You're young, inexperienced and this isn't an expensive date. None of the reasons for avoiding payment really apply in your case. I'm not telling you to pay for it. But I am saying you should be open to doing so. It is not harmful given your circumstances.
Author:  Playboi_ [ Thu Jul 03, 2014 5:42 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Dating shy girls
If you invited her out, and it is fairly affordable, there is no issue in dishing out the cash. If you have plans and are simply inviting her along to join something like a concert or such that you had plans of attending with or without her, that is when paying will weaken your stance.

I have invited women out for a drink and covered some of them. Don't make it any big thing and if she insists on paying some, even better, take her up on it. Just know where to draw your line. If you have to question it, it is a b*tch move.
Author:  Eddie Fews [ Thu Jul 03, 2014 6:49 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Dating shy girls
Quote:
Long story short - girl is very attracted to me. She is normally very social and outgoing but when I start talking to her, she blushes and barely says any word, only if I ask her questions. I wanted to ask her out and she said she is free next week. The problem is I'm not very talkative myself and I'm afraid we will spend the date in silence. Because whenever I had private moment with this girl it was always quite awkward because she was too nervous to talk to me. In addition I'm quite unexperienced with girls and that would be my first date. Can anyone give me some advice?
I have an idea to go bowling since then the silence won't matter as much and I will have chance to touch her.
So because you think there is a possibility that this would be an awkward date in which you sit in silence with the girl; your mind is telling you that its better to just do nothing at all? To just keep living the same old life that you've been living because a little potential awkwardness is just too much for you to handle? And after all of that; somehow you think you need advice?

Think about it.
Author:  stundent2 [ Tue Aug 05, 2014 10:04 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Dating shy girls
I'm actually a student (my username) not a middle schooler.
I didn't receive any message from her. I was the one who was doing all the work (approaching, initiating texts, calling her) but she never did that for me. So I decided if she doesn't let me know when she's home I won't contact her first. We haven't had contact for more than a month. So I think it's one of the options.
A. She thinks she has higher value and I need relationship more than her, so she wants me to chase her even more (plus she might know I'm inexperienced because I made some big AFC mistakes at the beginning).
B. She was too shy to contact me (however I think she could have overcome her shyness just to send one text if she was really interested).
C. She lost interest (this isn't likely because I don't think she could completely lose her interest in couple of weeks while we didn't see each other).

Need some advice what to do next. I don't think I'm going to contact her, but I will see her in September again (when the uni begins again) so I'm wondering what to do then. I think I will justa act like it's not a big deal and like nothing special has ever been between us. Still, I want to fuck her though (sooner or later).
Author:  Versalis [ Wed Aug 06, 2014 5:44 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Dating shy girls
Girls can completely lose interest in a couple of hours when she hasn't done *anything* with you.

Anyway, considering how long it's been, you may as well just text her to see what's up. If she is still interested, she'll make it clear.

When Sep rolls around, treat her like normal.
Author:  stundent2 [ Wed Sep 03, 2014 1:00 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Dating shy girls
I'm back to school and currently our relationship is really weird. I guess she has lost interest, but her behaviour confuses me. She mostly ignores me, doesn't even say hello. But sometimes she looks at me if I have done something funny and smiles. Once I even caught her looking at me and doing the hair toss when she realized I saw her. But during the day we don't talk at all.
Today she did something which implied that she doesn't like my presence, although I can't think of anything I have done to be disliked in that level. We were having lunch break. Usually we are 4 people who go to uni cafeteria. She was first in queue and I was last. She paid for lunch and went to choose table. For some reason she chose a table where was sitting a random person (there is space for 4 people), so I ended up having lunch alone. There were empty tables too so I don't know why would she sit next to a random person.
So I don't know what to think now, I see mixed signals. Do you think this is over?
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