PUA Forum :: Should I leave it or pursue it?

Hey guys,

I posted a while back about how I hooked up with one of my best friends and then ended up messing it all up when I had a few personal problems. It was really sore and it's been just about a year since I spoke to her. Anyway, we have an event coming up where all our mutual friends are getting together again, so I bit the bullet and text her yesterday..

I basically just said it would be good to be civil and enjoy the weekend with friends, that there's no hard feelings on my part. She text back saying she felt the same too. Then we shared a few texts and ended it on a joke (she text about going to sleep, so I brought up an old koala bear reference to which she replied, I then left it at that as I thought to go further would be inappropriate)

I'm not looking for a sexual relationship again with her, that's 100%. I've been on good point with my game and I'm dating a couple of women currently. She's also got a boyfriend, I don't know much but I guess that's enough.

The question is, I would like to build some sort of friendship and trust up again to what we used to have. I'm going to take it slow, I probably won't text her again before the event, hopefully I can catch up at the event and if it goes well, maybe start texting again more frequently after.

Is this the right way to go about it? I obviously want to be cautious not to go to full on straight away, considering we haven't talked in a year before yesterday I'd say it's a start at least. Or, do I just leave this be...

Author:	bluey11 [ Fri May 30, 2014 10:16 pm ]
Post subject:	Should I leave it or pursue it?
Hey guys, I posted a while back about how I hooked up with one of my best friends and then ended up messing it all up when I had a few personal problems. It was really sore and it's been just about a year since I spoke to her. Anyway, we have an event coming up where all our mutual friends are getting together again, so I bit the bullet and text her yesterday.. I basically just said it would be good to be civil and enjoy the weekend with friends, that there's no hard feelings on my part. She text back saying she felt the same too. Then we shared a few texts and ended it on a joke (she text about going to sleep, so I brought up an old koala bear reference to which she replied, I then left it at that as I thought to go further would be inappropriate) I'm not looking for a sexual relationship again with her, that's 100%. I've been on good point with my game and I'm dating a couple of women currently. She's also got a boyfriend, I don't know much but I guess that's enough. The question is, I would like to build some sort of friendship and trust up again to what we used to have. I'm going to take it slow, I probably won't text her again before the event, hopefully I can catch up at the event and if it goes well, maybe start texting again more frequently after. Is this the right way to go about it? I obviously want to be cautious not to go to full on straight away, considering we haven't talked in a year before yesterday I'd say it's a start at least. Or, do I just leave this be...

Author:	Mastermind9000 [ Fri May 30, 2014 10:58 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Should I leave it or pursue it?
If it where me I wouldn't think about it too much until after this event. You could have a big plan that means nothing is she is acting in a way not in accordance with your future projections. Just wait and engage her at this party.

Author:	TheGameSays [ Sat May 31, 2014 1:14 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Should I leave it or pursue it?
I've been in a similar situation with a friend of mine too. Although her and I never hooked up, at one point or another, we were escalating towards the direction to be something more than friends. Somewhere along the lines, back when I was completely shy, I didn't take my opportune time to pull the trigger. To make a long story short; a person who I thought was a good friend of mine ended up hooking up with her and since then, have been a couple. 5 years later - she made contact with me again via facebook. Assuming the worst but she gave it a shot. In my situation, because I hold true to some feelings, I told her that I'd give it a shot being friends again under the stipulation that her boyfriend (my old friend) wasn't ever around when we hung out. Not because I wanted to make any moves on her or rekindle anything and try making her cheat, but because of the tension. She agreed and our first time hanging out, 5 years later, it was as if we were back in high school and talked every day. We reminisced over old times and did a lot of catching up. Shared laughs, had a few drinks, and watched a show. The bottom line here is this: Pretend like nothing ever happened and go into it with your old-style friendship talk. The things that got you to be such good friends anyways. There's no guarantee that some sort of feelings on either end will NOT come up again, but if you keep it friendly and don't let any emotion take over, everything will turn out fine.

Author:	magnum45 [ Sat May 31, 2014 4:35 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Should I leave it or pursue it?
Quote: Hey guys, I posted a while back about how I hooked up with one of my best friends and then ended up messing it all up when I had a few personal problems. It was really sore and it's been just about a year since I spoke to her. Anyway, we have an event coming up where all our mutual friends are getting together again, so I bit the bullet and text her yesterday.. I basically just said it would be good to be civil and enjoy the weekend with friends, that there's no hard feelings on my part. She text back saying she felt the same too. Then we shared a few texts and ended it on a joke (she text about going to sleep, so I brought up an old koala bear reference to which she replied, I then left it at that as I thought to go further would be inappropriate) I'm not looking for a sexual relationship again with her, that's 100%. I've been on good point with my game and I'm dating a couple of women currently. She's also got a boyfriend, I don't know much but I guess that's enough. The question is, I would like to build some sort of friendship and trust up again to what we used to have. I'm going to take it slow, I probably won't text her again before the event, hopefully I can catch up at the event and if it goes well, maybe start texting again more frequently after. Is this the right way to go about it? I obviously want to be cautious not to go to full on straight away, considering we haven't talked in a year before yesterday I'd say it's a start at least. Or, do I just leave this be... How old are you? twelve? Why did you fuck your friend? You fucking bastard. Now you can't handle her, take her for granted. How do you think she will feel if you do that. Dick. Why don't you go smash your face in a windshield and do her a favor.

Author:	Mastermind9000 [ Sat May 31, 2014 5:07 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Should I leave it or pursue it?
Quote: How old are you? twelve? Why did you fuck your friend? You fucking bastard. Now you can't handle her, take her for granted. How do you think she will feel if you do that. Dick. Why don't you go smash your face in a windshield and do her a favor. I love how PUAs talk to each other. Nothing else is as direct, sincere and full of swears. <3

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Author:	Eddie Fews [ Sat May 31, 2014 5:04 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Should I leave it or pursue it?
Hey Bleuy.. This is simple. Once you have a relationship of any kind with a woman the trick is to be who you were at the time you guys were the best friends. After the sexual event, things took its turn and its safe to say that you stopped being who you were being when you guys were friends. At this point, all you have to do is revert back to who you were originally. Don't try and be some "new guy" that wants to repair things so you guys can becomes friends again. Just be who you always were to her and she'll treat you the way she always did. Its up to you to lead. Peace & Love

Author:	bluey11 [ Sat May 31, 2014 6:50 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Should I leave it or pursue it?
Thanks for the reply Eddie, I'll definitely take that advice on board, so simple but sometimes our minds over complicate things I guess

Author:	bluey11 [ Wed Jun 11, 2014 9:50 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Should I leave it or pursue it?
I thought I'd follow up on this for anyone who may be in a similar situation So in the end the event didn't even happen, I was kind of disappointed as I thought that maybe I wouldn't speak to her again, I accepted it anyway and just carried on Anyway, today she completely randomly texts me out of the blue, congratulating me on some recent success I had.. then we continued to text for 3 or 4 hours, just how it used to be.. Baring in mind, bar the one text the other week about me wanting to make peace, she has not spoken one word to me in over a year and now it's not as if anything happened? And some of the stuff, I don't think her current partner would approve of.. Maybe I'm looking too much into it, but should I back off here?

Author:	Torrent Seduction [ Wed Jun 11, 2014 10:11 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Should I leave it or pursue it?
sounds to me like you should back off a bit. You're coming across as needy. Plus she has a man?

Author:	bluey11 [ Thu Jun 12, 2014 12:01 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Should I leave it or pursue it?
Yep.. all good reasons to Blocked her number on my iPhone this morning, some things are best left alone

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