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| How to not be considered a friend https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=179527 |
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| Author: | Pinkfloyd123 [ Wed May 21, 2014 2:22 am ] |
| Post subject: | How to not be considered a friend |
So I been on like 8-9 dates recently (all diff girls, all from online game) and they all ended the same way. In the end the end they considered me as a friend, no makeout, etc. I discovered I have depression so it takes the life out of you, makes your thoughts unclear and you can't focus. I know what I'm not doing - being flirty & playful and more kino - I was great at it but recently I haven't been able to focus so I forget what I learned. So how can I not be considered a friend and what can I do/say to be flirty and playful 2) Also when I first meet a girl from online or in general. What do I do/say to make a good impression and cause attraction so we both have something to discuss. P.S. please explain the best you can so I understand. Most guys leave answers here that are too vague so I end up not getting it and my game is off. |
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| Author: | neo87 [ Wed May 21, 2014 4:24 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: How to not be considered a friend |
Fix your depression first. |
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| Author: | Pinkfloyd123 [ Wed May 21, 2014 5:22 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: How to not be considered a friend |
I am. Therapy and possibly meds... Getting better with girls and getting positive feedback from them would make me feel better. Feel free to comment on the rest. |
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| Author: | neo87 [ Wed May 21, 2014 5:52 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: How to not be considered a friend |
See... getting better with women is not a miracle cure. In fact it will worsen your depression. Flakes, rejections, cheaters, break ups... hence you should focus on managing your depression before trying to get women. Its like saying you want to workout for bigger arms when you have a broken arm. You'll try and eventually f yourself up more. Let the broken arm heal before hitting it hard. For 2, try things out. Get a wing, do night game and learn how to flirt and be interesting in person. Use routines if you have to (from the forum or the routines manual). But just try things out. Its a trial and error process with alot of UPS and downs. Hence why I suggest treating your depression and getting to a place where you enjoy life before starting. You may disregard the last part and just go practice but trust me, you'll be back devasted when disaster hits. Hope this helps |
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| Author: | Pinkfloyd123 [ Wed May 21, 2014 6:13 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: How to not be considered a friend |
I totally agree. Trust me, I'm working on my depression first, I have no choice. In the mean time, I have desires like anyone else -- I just can't let the failures get to me like you mentioned With all that in mind, making a first impression is just hard. It's when things can go bad or good and I always ness it up by saying something socially awkward or not talking at all. If someone can walk me through the first begging things step by step I'd appreciate it. Also how not to flirt/be playful would help too. I'm really eager to find out what I'm missing. |
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| Author: | Mr_International [ Wed May 21, 2014 7:39 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: How to not be considered a friend |
Quote: what can I do/say to be flirty and playful
I think it may depend on your style of humor or mannerisms, but you could say things that are so outrageous with a straight face, they'll make her gasp. She'll look at you like: I can't believe you just said that. Or an "are you serious?" look, and then you can crack a slight smile (or even not at all) and she'll eventually get that you were just kidding.An example would be like if, say a girl is fishing for a compliment. Code: Her: "Ugh, I overslept. I didn't even get a chance to fix my hair this morning." (obviously she did)
You *with a straight face*: "Yeah, I wasn't going to say anything, but it looks terrible."
She'll likely playfully smack you once she realizes you were just playing.A way to deliver it the wrong way would be like this: Code: Her: "Ugh, I overslept. I didn't even get a chance to fix my hair this morning." (obviously she did)
You *big, goofy smile*: "Yeah, looks like it." (and you start laughing)
That would likely annoy her.I think the reason one works as opposed to the other is that in one, you're being extreme by your serious tone, and in the other, it seems like you're trying to be funny and/or just amusing yourself. Not sure what your personality is like, but I tend to have a dry, sarcastic sense of humor. It works for me. |
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| Author: | Adonis_Complex [ Wed May 21, 2014 3:57 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: How to not be considered a friend |
Detach yourself from the outcome. Enjoy the moment, and care less about the end results. The fewer desires and cares you have, the less stuff bothers you, and the more you can enjoy what actually happens. |
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| Author: | Pinkfloyd123 [ Wed May 21, 2014 4:50 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: How to not be considered a friend |
Mr international, great response! Will definitely keep that in mind. Do you have any more examples that I could see or use that can fully explain the proper type of teasing? Also, another issue I have in game is while in an interaction she kinda grows cold. She'll be excited and interested at first then I'll talk about boring things, not be funny, not DHV, or push pull and she backs off and grows cold. Can you please explain what to do here cause its a major issues in my game. Also, PLEASE count on this, "With all that in mind, making a first impression is just hard. It's when things can go bad or good and I always ness it up by saying something socially awkward or not talking at all. If someone can walk me through the first begging things step by step I'd appreciate it" |
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| Author: | Adonis_Complex [ Wed May 21, 2014 10:43 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: How to not be considered a friend |
To avoid the interaction getting dull, always be leading. Take her to get a drink (don't necessarily have to pay for it), lead her to another venue, or different part of the same venue. Initiate some physical contact and lead her physical. Get up and go dance, suggesting playing a game that involves touch. likewise you need to lead the conversation both the subject and the tone. Honestly it doesn't matter too much what you say, it is more about how you say it. Same thing with remarks, it's all about delivery. |
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| Author: | Jay (Majik) [ Thu May 22, 2014 12:31 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: How to not be considered a friend |
Quote: So I been on like 8-9 dates recently (all diff girls, all from online game) and they all ended the same way. In the end the end they considered me as a friend, no makeout, etc. I discovered I have depression so it takes the life out of you, makes your thoughts unclear and you can't focus.
Well, stop thinking so much about how depressed you are and start focusing on how you can make your life better. First, figure out why you are depressed. Are you doing something everything to better yourself? Are you working on building a better life for yourself? Are you eating healthy? Are you working out? Are you interacting with people? Are you taking time to relax for yourself? Alot of people look at depression like its a bad thing. Then, they go to a doctor who gives them pills to make them feel nothing at all. Completely emotionless. Good luck coming off those things man. Depression is a good thing. Everyone goes through periods of depression. You learn something about yourself. You need that time to figure things out. Second, don't start taking a pill. Start doing other things instead. Start doing other things that will make you happy. Have some fun and enjoy life a little instead of sitting around feeling sorry for yourself. Life passes you by pretty quick. Might as well have a good time. Quote: I know what I'm not doing - being flirty & playful and more kino - I was great at it but recently I haven't been able to focus so I forget what I learned. So how can I not be considered a friend and what can I do/say to be flirty and playful
Once you get over your depression, this will come natural. You've gotta stop acting like someone pissed in your cereal and have some fun. Loosen up. Stop taking life so seriously...Quote: 2) Also when I first meet a girl from online or in general. What do I do/say to make a good impression and cause attraction so we both have something to discuss.
It has nothing to do with what you say. There isn't a "line" or an "opener" that will instantly cause a girl to be attracted to you. Women don't work like that. It's the vibe and the energy that you put out that turns a girl on. Right off the bat, you're friendly. And because its a girl you're talking to, you're probably overly friendly (trying to impress her) The girls are seeing you as friend... not someone who is going to fuck their brains out. |
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| Author: | Mastermind9000 [ Thu May 22, 2014 6:40 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: How to not be considered a friend |
I'm going to chime in one the subject of cold approach and depression. For me pickup was almost a magic pill. The idea that you have power, can make your life better and fill it with the people you want is powerful. Using pua as a cognitive behaviour therapy is unparalleled in my experience and opinion. Approaching is a behaviour that will rewire a nervous or depressed brain is truly amazing ways. A depressed person who spends a lot of time alone doesn't have to ability to recognize that people do like them. They are highly reactive but don't understand what is going on, so their self-hating brains fill in the story. When I first started going out I was a shut-in. Basically, this was before I knew pickup, and my first goal was to be in a room full of people without having a panic attack. What hit me the hardest was after a while I got more social and all of a sudden chodes where picking fights and sabotaging my socializing. Now I know that on those nights I was in state, having lots of fun...even talking to the occasional girl! Weak minded betas hate that shit. I know this, now, but at first it was me thinking that I had done something wrong. If you depressed, you will feel like shit. At least if you frame it in the context of CBT and/or pickup you know that it is part of a process and you are doing something harder than most people can even imagine. That is something to be proud of. Just my thoughts. |
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| Author: | hopeforthebest [ Thu May 22, 2014 6:57 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: How to not be considered a friend |
Okay so obviously you need to take a look in the mirror and find your reason for depression and hope it gets better with time because it sounds like that is what is taking you down. I mean you could try fake it till you make it but I would not recommend that under these circumstances. Maybe after then you can pick up your game again and get back to your flirty handsome self. Women are attracted to confidence. -Lindsay |
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| Author: | Mastermind9000 [ Fri May 23, 2014 5:03 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: How to not be considered a friend |
Quote: Okay so obviously you need to take a look in the mirror and find your reason for depression and hope it gets better with time because it sounds like that is what is taking you down. I mean you could try fake it till you make it but I would not recommend that under these circumstances. Maybe after then you can pick up your game again and get back to your flirty handsome self. Women are attracted to confidence.
-Lindsay "Okay so obviously..."? Sorry, but no. If someone lacks positive relationships the last thing they need is to have more alone time to think it over. How is someone supposed to gain confidence with woman without hitting on them. That's the only way. They will fail, and fail and do it again... who cares if woman are attracted to confidence? They are attracted to courage too, and seeing a guy doing his goddamn best is something plenty of girls like to see aswell, even if they dont plan to fuck the guy. Telling some depressed or shy guy not to approach because he isn't confident is like telling a drowning man not to struggle to the surface. Sorry, and with all due respect, I can't disagree more strongly. I don't think telling some hard case that is drawn to pickup not to bother, and they aren't worth talking to woman flys in the face of everything pickup is about. To "hopeforthebest" is not suitable advice. imho |
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| Author: | Pikeman85 [ Fri May 23, 2014 5:55 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: How to not be considered a friend |
Quote: Quote: Okay so obviously you need to take a look in the mirror and find your reason for depression and hope it gets better with time because it sounds like that is what is taking you down. I mean you could try fake it till you make it but I would not recommend that under these circumstances. Maybe after then you can pick up your game again and get back to your flirty handsome self. Women are attracted to confidence.
-Lindsay "Okay so obviously..."? Sorry, but no. If someone lacks positive relationships the last thing they need is to have more alone time to think it over. How is someone supposed to gain confidence with woman without hitting on them. That's the only way. They will fail, and fail and do it again... who cares if woman are attracted to confidence? They are attracted to courage too, and seeing a guy doing his goddamn best is something plenty of girls like to see aswell, even if they dont plan to fuck the guy. Telling some depressed or shy guy not to approach because he isn't confident is like telling a drowning man not to struggle to the surface. Sorry, and with all due respect, I can't disagree more strongly. I don't think telling some hard case that is drawn to pickup not to bother, and they aren't worth talking to woman flys in the face of everything pickup is about. To "hopeforthebest" is not suitable advice. imho While I'm sure we all appreciate having a woman on the board, Hopeforthebest, you're looking at dating from a woman's perspective, not a man's. He won't magically get confident with women - that's not how this works. You get more confident from trying, and failing constantly, and seeing what works and what doesn't, so you know what to do. That's the only way to truly get confident with women. |
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| Author: | Mastermind9000 [ Fri May 23, 2014 8:48 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: How to not be considered a friend |
Quote: Quote: Quote: Okay so obviously you need to take a look in the mirror and find your reason for depression and hope it gets better with time because it sounds like that is what is taking you down. I mean you could try fake it till you make it but I would not recommend that under these circumstances. Maybe after then you can pick up your game again and get back to your flirty handsome self. Women are attracted to confidence.
-Lindsay "Okay so obviously..."? Sorry, but no. If someone lacks positive relationships the last thing they need is to have more alone time to think it over. How is someone supposed to gain confidence with woman without hitting on them. That's the only way. They will fail, and fail and do it again... who cares if woman are attracted to confidence? They are attracted to courage too, and seeing a guy doing his goddamn best is something plenty of girls like to see aswell, even if they dont plan to fuck the guy. Telling some depressed or shy guy not to approach because he isn't confident is like telling a drowning man not to struggle to the surface. Sorry, and with all due respect, I can't disagree more strongly. I don't think telling some hard case that is drawn to pickup not to bother, and they aren't worth talking to woman flys in the face of everything pickup is about. To "hopeforthebest" is not suitable advice. imho While I'm sure we all appreciate having a woman on the board, Hopeforthebest, you're looking at dating from a woman's perspective, not a man's. He won't magically get confident with women - that's not how this works. You get more confident from trying, and failing constantly, and seeing what works and what doesn't, so you know what to do. That's the only way to truly get confident with women. A bit of support: No decent girl can blame a guy for trying. You won't die. There are lots of girls and freaking out a couple (a surprisingly few btw) before you gain a sense for what is happening is fine and girls are used to it. No one, not you or the girls, will he harmed in the making of your badass attitude. Just go out a lot, don't drink too much, and pay attention to what is going on. I went out 7 nights a week for 3 months in order to calibrate myself. Now I see things with a clarity I didn't know existed. Try that. Don't judge yourself about where you are or where you started, just know where you are going. When you know that you will one day be the total shit, then that grants you confidence almost on par with being the shit but with added humility. Have fun. Hitting on girls is a blast and before you know it you'll be swearing to yourself "fuck... missed that one!". Don't worry if it seems like you aren't getting anywhere. In no time you will be marveling at what you've missed, passed up or choked on rather than thinking that you aren't any good. Most likely, and especially if you are having a good time, you will be stunned at what you miss out on because you simply weren't expecting to attract the quality you do so quickly. For me, getting girls to like me is simple. Picking the fruit of my self-improvement efforts is my sticking point. |
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