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Girls that take a long time to sleep with you
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Author:  Pikeman85 [ Mon Mar 17, 2014 2:42 pm ]
Post subject:  Girls that take a long time to sleep with you
So, I've been dating this girl, cute, fairly high quality (surgeon) for a few weeks. We've gone on two dates, and she wouldn't even kiss me on the first one, though we made out pretty intensely on the second one.

I tried to get her to come back to my place, to "watch House of Cards" at 2 am (which she knew was a blatant way of trying to sleep with her) - she even said, "You didn't think I'd actually agree to watch House of Cards tonight, did you?"

She definitely likes me, we're getting along, but I'm not quite sure how to proceed - I guess just keep doing what I'm doing, but is there any way to make this interaction smoother? I've never had a girl who was into me, who wouldn't fool around with me by the second date!

To me, it seems like she has arbitrary rules to try to create investment. I don't care for them, I like her so far, and sleeping with her would only increase my interest.

Is there a way to deal with this situation, or should I just play her game and keep trying for sex? I'm guessing she'll PROBABLY sleep with me in a date or two, which is fine I suppose, but I've got no guarantee on this. I turned her on pretty hard already, as we were basically dry humping in an elevator and her car (cops were circling us).
Author:  BITmixit [ Mon Mar 17, 2014 2:47 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Girls that take a long time to sleep with you
She's trying to make herself be the prize and thus make herself feel good about herself before she's even had to get naked.

Simple, flip it on her. Make yourself out to be the prize. You are the prize after all. Women get more enjoyment from sex (if you do your job right.)

Her: You didn't really think I was going to watch House of Cards with you? haha.

Me: Nope, I'm watching it. You're entertaining me.

Her: You wish.

Me: pffft, knew you wouldn't be up to the task.

IMPORTANT: If you do this. After you fuck her and she's being all cuddlecuddlecuddle this is when you make her feel good about herself.
Author:  TheFury [ Mon Mar 17, 2014 6:23 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Girls that take a long time to sleep with you
Quote:
So, I've been dating this girl, cute, fairly high quality (surgeon) for a few weeks. We've gone on two dates, and she wouldn't even kiss me on the first one, though we made out pretty intensely on the second one.

I tried to get her to come back to my place, to "watch House of Cards" at 2 am (which she knew was a blatant way of trying to sleep with her) - she even said, "You didn't think I'd actually agree to watch House of Cards tonight, did you?"

She definitely likes me, we're getting along, but I'm not quite sure how to proceed - I guess just keep doing what I'm doing, but is there any way to make this interaction smoother? I've never had a girl who was into me, who wouldn't fool around with me by the second date!

To me, it seems like she has arbitrary rules to try to create investment. I don't care for them, I like her so far, and sleeping with her would only increase my interest.

Is there a way to deal with this situation, or should I just play her game and keep trying for sex? I'm guessing she'll PROBABLY sleep with me in a date or two, which is fine I suppose, but I've got no guarantee on this. I turned her on pretty hard already, as we were basically dry humping in an elevator and her car (cops were circling us).
You can keep hanging out with her and playing it cool/making a move, but I generally drop these girls because I eventually lose interest with their prudeness/hard to get attitude. At some point before though I have the conversation with them "what are you afraid of?" etc. and I take a risk and making it very clear that I am not ok with relationships lacking intimacy and me having to beg/etc. for it. If they like you, this usually speeds things up significantly.
Author:  Tr@veler [ Mon Mar 17, 2014 7:40 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Girls that take a long time to sleep with you
Keep doing what you're doing. It's not you, it's her, really this time. She probably got hurt in an earlier relationship and is extremely cautious. Keep being sexually aggressive but don't get mad if you don't get anywhere in the next date or two. Eventually she will cave because she really does like you, and it will take her some time to fully trust you. Don't go all chodey and do things for her, still hold your ground, and persist. The sex with her will probably be amazing so keep at it, and who knows you two might even like each other more than just for sex after that.
Author:  LD [ Mon Mar 17, 2014 8:32 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Girls that take a long time to sleep with you
Quote:
Keep doing what you're doing. It's not you, it's her, really this time. She probably got hurt in an earlier relationship and is extremely cautious. Keep being sexually aggressive but don't get mad if you don't get anywhere in the next date or two. Eventually she will cave because she really does like you, and it will take her some time to fully trust you. Don't go all chodey and do things for her, still hold your ground, and persist. The sex with her will probably be amazing so keep at it, and who knows you two might even like each other more than just for sex after that.

Yeah, exactly the above. I think Tr@veler nailed it right there.
Just one question to the OP: How well do you know her? This might sound stupid, but have you taken the time to really get to know her? To dig perhaps a bit deeper below the surface and find something in her character which really appeals to you. If it genuinly appeals to you, compliment her on that. I am sure you will score hugely with that.

in any way, dont give up. Try to see in her what no other or not many other men have seen in her.

cheers
Author:  Pikeman85 [ Mon Mar 17, 2014 9:02 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Girls that take a long time to sleep with you
I already have done that - she's a surgeon. She intimidates men. She almost certainly makes a multiple (or will once she's done with her residency) of everyone she's dated's income (including mine). She doesn't intimidate me, which is a huge, huge, huge mark in my favor. Hell, we keep having jokes about how I'm going to abandon her out of a window on the date. I pulled her hair a bit in the car while we were groping each other - I'm definitely treating her like every other girl, and that is something this girl just does not get.

So I have definitely stood out that way. She's from Texas and I also wore a bolo tie on our date (preplanned, obviously, might have been a bit awkward otherwise), in the middle of a midwestern, pretty liberal state - so not the sort of place you'd EVER see a bolo tie. She had fun.

I usually drop girls who are so prudish too, but I'm going to be pretty explicit here - this girl is better than most other girls. I've gone on dates or hung out with north of 100 girls. I've slept with almost 30. Screwed around with probably 50. I've kissed probably 150. This girl is better than just about all of them. She's incredibly smart, she's going to be rich (in like 3 years), she has the same sort of life ambitions I do, and she's pretty cute too. If she starts acting too uppity, I'd drop her in a second, but I don't think making me jump through a few hoops to sleep with her is /too/ problematic. That being said, the sooner I do it, the better things will turn out obviously.

I'll definitely try flipping the script. I'll probably make blatant references to House of Cards being absolutely amazing, and so terrible she missed it, what bad luck on her part. She will know I'm talking about sex.

Any other suggestions guys?

I'm mostly glad for this community - two years ago, I could not have done this. I doubt a year ago I could have (though maybe, I was getting ok at that point and landed a pretty decent girl for a while).
Author:  LD [ Mon Mar 17, 2014 10:15 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Girls that take a long time to sleep with you
it just occured to me but you might want to try and invite her to do something practical together. You know, do something as a team. I am like thinking about, invite her to your place and cook something up together. Focus on the teamwork and while cooking, dont push to make it sexual, you might want to keep that for later, as she is at your place. doesn't matter if you arent that good of a cook, the point is doing something practical together.

And just two other random thoughts: i think that if you keep the sexual pressure too high, she will distantiate herself from you.
and secondly, i don't think she really is prudish, i think she is just very carefull.

cheers!
Author:  Mr_International [ Mon Mar 17, 2014 10:53 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Girls that take a long time to sleep with you
If she's wifey material, I wouldn't sweat it.
Author:  ChimeranPanda [ Tue Mar 18, 2014 1:16 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Girls that take a long time to sleep with you
It sounds like you are treating her different because you value her more than other girls you've seduced. This is how ships sink. You must make a conscious effort to play your game flawlessly. Do not take shortcuts and do not give her benefit of the doubt. She deserves to be seduced properly just like all the other girls. It's for your and her benefit.
Author:  Pikeman85 [ Tue Mar 18, 2014 1:36 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Girls that take a long time to sleep with you
She got off work last night and wanted to see me to get food. This was an "unplanned" date.

I'm glad that she had to work late and the other girl I was going to hang out with flaked (drank too much earlier in the day), because apparently both were going to the only Irish pub in town, originally.

It went well, we went further, under the clothes stuff. She still wouldn't come inside, but she's gradually warming up. She did admit that she doesn't have sex with many people, and that she's very selective. I also picked up that she gets attached REALLY quickly. She's already a little attached to me (YOU HAD BETTER LIKE ME WITH ALL WE'RE DOING).

I have to be honest, I always get a little nervous when girls get attached really quickly, because I don't. I need to do some "manage expectations" talk with her soon to make it clear that I like her, but I'm not going to feel attached for a little while.
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