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| Dealing with macro rejection https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=176847 |
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| Author: | norwegianburns [ Sun Mar 16, 2014 10:06 am ] |
| Post subject: | Dealing with macro rejection |
Macro rejection means rejection by social peers due to poor perceived value as substantiated by history. Anyway, whats the best solution for this? How do you develop a frame strong enough to cover for past AFC history? |
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| Author: | Melodical [ Sun Mar 16, 2014 10:40 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Dealing with macro rejection |
1/ Disassociate from your peers. 2/ Create a new identity, re-invent yourself. 3/ Achieve success through hard work and practice. 4/ Rejoin peer group with enhanced value. 5/ Reject peer group. 6/ Move on. |
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| Author: | norwegianburns [ Sun Mar 16, 2014 10:43 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Dealing with macro rejection |
Quote: 1/ Disassociate from your peers.
hello Melodical.2/ Create a new identity, re-invent yourself. 3/ Achieve success through hard work and practice. 4/ Rejoin peer group with enhanced value. 5/ Reject peer group. 6/ Move on. Great idea and completely valid, except I'm stuck in the same social group due to mature uni course. Unfortunately... I'm wondering how to change in this worst case scenario... I've got to stick in it and reframe it somehow without being burdened by old AFC and with social pressures from old AFC behaviour |
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| Author: | johngoldman [ Sun Mar 16, 2014 12:54 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Dealing with macro rejection |
I'm going to second what Melodical said. I would spend less time focused on impressing your social circle and more time focusing on yourself. The truth is, if your current social circle sees you as a low value guy, then they don't appreciate the amazingness inside of you. Those type of people aren't worth keeping around but even if you're stuck with them now, you probably won't even be talking with them in 5-10 years. Focus on things today that can make your life better in the long run. Exercise. Work hard. Enjoy your passions. Set Goals. Achieve them. Succeeding at your personal goals to become an exceptional person will increase your confidence so you won't even care what these kids think. |
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| Author: | norwegianburns [ Sun Mar 16, 2014 1:02 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Dealing with macro rejection |
Quote: I'm going to second what Melodical said.
I would spend less time focused on impressing your social circle and more time focusing on yourself. The truth is, if your current social circle sees you as a low value guy, then they don't appreciate the amazingness inside of you. Those type of people aren't worth keeping around but even if you're stuck with them now, you probably won't even be talking with them in 5-10 years. Focus on things today that can make your life better in the long run. Exercise. Work hard. Enjoy your passions. Set Goals. Achieve them. Succeeding at your personal goals to become an exceptional person will increase your confidence so you won't even care what these kids think. Thanks, I'm glad to have both of your opinions. They're valid and I'll implement them. Would you give any advice on what to do in terms of not giving 2 cents on what they think? I mean, even if you make your life better and its great, the problem is, interaction with these people will still influence you. Its like being rejected by a girl, and leaving only to have her following your every move. Under an abundance mindset one would just think, oh screw this, I'll work on improving myself, approaching other sets and closing these sets. Forget the failures but work on weaknesses and be an awesome guy. Oh but shit, the chick is still following me. Worst of all, you can't fuck off the entire class. In lectures, they'll still influence your behaviour, even subliminally. Ohh, these suggestions are great and I'm implementing them but I'm not sure how to resist relapse from the social pressure/stigma I guess, if you call it that. |
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| Author: | johngoldman [ Sun Mar 16, 2014 1:16 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Dealing with macro rejection |
Quote: Would you give any advice on what to do in terms of not giving 2 cents on what they think?
Caring what other people think is natural and healthy. I don't think you can just stop caring. That would be narcissism or sociopathic behavior and you definitely don't want that. Here's the real question....do you have goals that lead to an uber exciting future? If so, every time you feel bad about somebody judging you, you can visualize where you will be in 3-5 years. Imagine yourself successful, having achieved your goals.This type of creative visualization is really healthy and helpful in achieving success. If anything, external judgment from others can help drive your focus to being a more successful guy. The only thing that will truly help you to care less about what they're thinking is your own internal confidence. Confidence comes from taking esteemable actions. Continue to work hard to achieve your dreams and you will see these problems become less frequent. |
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| Author: | norwegianburns [ Sun Mar 16, 2014 1:28 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Dealing with macro rejection |
Quote: Quote: Would you give any advice on what to do in terms of not giving 2 cents on what they think?
Caring what other people think is natural and healthy. I don't think you can just stop caring. That would be narcissism or sociopathic behavior and you definitely don't want that. Here's the real question....do you have goals that lead to an uber exciting future? If so, every time you feel bad about somebody judging you, you can visualize where you will be in 3-5 years. Imagine yourself successful, having achieved your goals.This type of creative visualization is really healthy and helpful in achieving success. If anything, external judgment from others can help drive your focus to being a more successful guy. The only thing that will truly help you to care less about what they're thinking is your own internal confidence. Confidence comes from taking esteemable actions. Continue to work hard to achieve your dreams and you will see these problems become less frequent. Thanks. Will visualise! Definitely have goals leading to uber future haha they make me more nervous than AA! Will give an update in a few months on improvement/stagnation! |
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| Author: | johngoldman [ Sun Mar 16, 2014 2:01 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Dealing with macro rejection |
Quote: Thanks. Will visualise! Definitely have goals leading to uber future haha they make me more nervous than AA! Will give an update in a few months on improvement/stagnation!
Try to focus on the end result. Why you're doing what you're doing. We tend to avoid thoughts that make us nervous. Try to connect with the feeling you will feel when you achieve these things. Keep us posted!
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| Author: | Monsignor Crisanto [ Sun Mar 16, 2014 3:23 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Dealing with macro rejection |
Quote: Thanks, I'm glad to have both of your opinions. They're valid and I'll implement them. Would you give any advice on what to do in terms of not giving 2 cents on what they think? I mean, even if you make your life better and its great, the problem is, interaction with these people will still influence you. Its like being rejected by a girl, and leaving only to have her following your every move. Under an abundance mindset one would just think, oh screw this, I'll work on improving myself, approaching other sets and closing these sets. Forget the failures but work on weaknesses and be an awesome guy. Oh but shit, the chick is still following me. Worst of all, you can't fuck off the entire class. In lectures, they'll still influence your behaviour, even subliminally. Ohh, these suggestions are great and I'm implementing them but I'm not sure how to resist relapse from the social pressure/stigma I guess, if you call it that.
When you're small and a nobody, act like a puppy. But when you grow big and become a bulldog, then bite everybody.Worked for me all the time since I've heard that quote. Hope it works fer yah. |
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| Author: | norwegianburns [ Sun Mar 16, 2014 3:35 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Dealing with macro rejection |
Quote: Quote: Thanks. Will visualise! Definitely have goals leading to uber future haha they make me more nervous than AA! Will give an update in a few months on improvement/stagnation!
Try to focus on the end result. Why you're doing what you're doing. We tend to avoid thoughts that make us nervous. Try to connect with the feeling you will feel when you achieve these things. Keep us posted!Hellbound haha you're dangerous! Thanks for the suggestion. It sounds like you AMOG all the little fishes. Good on you! Its because of PUAs like you that we grow. |
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| Author: | JakeP [ Sun Mar 16, 2014 9:13 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Dealing with macro rejection |
Avoid the group, withdraw as much as possible while you reinvent yourself. Go out, join other clubs. Just ignore them, reinvent yourself with new friends in the meantime and then re-join with higher status (and on your terms) or reject them, just as the other poster said. I know it's difficult for you right now, but you have to force yourself to avoid socializing with them for a while. That in itself shows independence and demonstrates high value. You don't need them because you have others. You are in demand. You're taking your talents elsewhere, while they take you for granted. |
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