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Does anyone ever get approached by girls?
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Author:  slashrfnr [ Fri Mar 14, 2014 8:57 pm ]
Post subject:  Does anyone ever get approached by girls?
My friend gets approached by girls quite often (so he tells me anyway) although he is a barman in a busy bar off Oxford Street in London) so it is possible. He is quite a pretty guy, with feminine features, but he is super insecure, and I don't think you could ever describe him as confident. However, he gets approached by girls quite often at work.

Is this to do with his higher status as a barman? I've never known girls to approach men, especially quite good looking ones, so I also thought that it might be because he is so insecure, they know they have the power and aren't intimidated by him.

The last observation is based on the fact that I very rarely get approached by girls, but I have quite a masculine face (wide jaw etc) and quite authoritative body language, so I reason that I might be seen as more dominant and secure.
Author:  hugge [ Fri Mar 14, 2014 10:17 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Does anyone ever get approached by girls?
I do (get approached). Of course, looks matter at bit. If you are part of a group, the center of attention and so on, girls will notice and your value (or attractiveness) will increase. But the more attractive you are, the more intimidating it is for someone to approach. So you have to open and social, having a smile on your face to show that you are friendly and won't bite.
Author:  Mr_International [ Sat Mar 15, 2014 8:08 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Does anyone ever get approached by girls?
He's approached because women have an excuse to talk to him. Chances are, he wouldn't be approached if he was just another peasant in the bar. The bar is his kingdom, and there, he has power. This is part of the reason social proof is so important.

Never the less, that doesn't mean no one gets approached unless they're a part of something. You probably get approached by women, but since they're not your type, you probably turn them away.
Author:  anthonypham [ Sat Mar 15, 2014 1:12 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Does anyone ever get approached by girls?
I believe I am a good-looking man and I am well-dressed :)

There are nights when i got approached by at least 5 girls and another 5 girls showing approximity/eye-contact. And there are nights that i got approached by none.

Then it should not be looks, otherwise I should get approached by girls everytime I go out, or I should not get approached by anyone.

The nights I got approached are characterized by the followings:
- I am in a good mood, having fun with friends;
- I am laughing, joking, a lot around friends;
- I am not eye-balling, looking for targets;
- I am energetic, social; talk with everyone;

The nights I don't get approached by any:
- I am actually not in the mood (and hoping it gets better during the night)
- drinking beer, not talkative
- my friends and 1 are clearly a bit bored;
- looking around, doubting whether or not to open.

Hopefully you get my point :)
Author:  knightitup [ Sun Mar 16, 2014 3:44 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Does anyone ever get approached by girls?
Not sure this will help, or is entirely relevant because of the age group. But I used to get approached A LOT back in college. It helped that I'm tall (6'3), well built, had long shaggy blonde hair, tattoos, and piercings, so I really stood out among the polo and button up shirt wearing, generic hair cut pretty boys. I would get approached all the time and questioned about my choices in style and fashion. Again, it's probably not so specifically helpful to you now, because things have changed in the last 8-10 years, and if you're like me, have to deal with a real job and can't stand out that much.

But I think in theory, it probably can be transferred over, be different and stand out in some way. Why would they approach you when you're the same as everyone else? But like the poster above me said, so much is body language and being approachable. I'd put down a number of beers and be jolly and boisterous. I was out at a cowboy bar last week (which also suits me well), and was approached about 6 times, unfortunately almost all the women were all older(but still attractive). In hindsight I should have made a move, but I wasn't really feeling it. I was a 45 min drive from my apartment (made arrangements to sleep over friends house nearby), which is way too long, and stupidly failing on the phone with an interest.
Author:  Mr_International [ Sun Mar 16, 2014 5:30 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Does anyone ever get approached by girls?
True @knightitup, regarding standing out. You have to give these women a reason to talk to you. If you blend in with the rest of the crowd, who's going to notice you? What excuse do they have to talk to you?
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