PUA Forum :: The plunge from platonic to asking a girl out. Tips?!

All right so here's how the conversation when. I chatted her up a little bit, then jumped into:

me -"So I think you owe me a drink since I helped you so much with studying :p. How does Friday night sound?"

hb8- "<bar name>. Be there or be square"

me- "that's where you'll be?"

hb8- "most likely haha"

me- "sounds good to me"

and that was it. So this isn't exactly how I wanted it to play out. She'll already be there with her group of friends and that will make it that much harder for me to isolate and all that. I'd much rather have her go out with the sole purpose of meeting me than have me just drop in and make an appearance, ya know? But at least it's better than her just telling me she's busy even if it doesn't rule out the possibility that I'll be friend zoned.

I'm almost tempted to try to get her to meet me somewhere else but I feel like my chances of that would be low. If she's getting drunk with her friends at one bar she's most likely not going to go off on her own to meet someone else.

I honestly have HORRIBLE results when meeting a girl who's already out so I hope some of you have advice for this type of scenario. It doesn't help that my social circle only includes other women and extremely nerdy AFCs who refuse to go out so I'll either have to show up with a girl or show up alone. Neither really seems like the best way for me to build attraction.

My plan for now is to tell her I'm at a different bar and make it seem like I'll stop by where she's at a little later. I'm kind of at a loss for how to approach this though. What do you all think I should do?

Author:	brandnew2 [ Wed Mar 12, 2014 2:05 am ]
Post subject:	The plunge from platonic to asking a girl out. Tips?!
So I'm in a group project at my university with 2 other guys and one athletic, sexy HB8. The very first day of classes I identified her as someone I wanted to sleep with and purposely got in her group. It would be awesome if I could bring this full circle, but obviously quite risky. We've all met up a handful of times now. One of the guys in our group never shows up and the other one is a stereotypical socially awkward AFC. So I've positioned myself as her closest friend in the group. We initially all communicated in a group text but as of last week I started sending texts privately to her and she received it very well. She initiates most of our conversations now, usually to talk about school or make fun of the AFC in our group, but we talk about unrelated stuff too. We have another class together and she asked me to come study with her because she "needed my help." Truthfully I got the feeling that she just wanted to see me because I'm not the best student. I didn't even take any notes or buy the book. I wasn't able to really escalate though because we ended up grouping with more people when we arrived to study. Still, I kept her laughing and pretty interested throughout the session. We text each other during class and I can hear her giggling at the funny texts I'm sending. There is a job fair on Thursday that I mentioned I'm going to and told her jokingly that she needs to attend. And it seems like she's taking it seriously because she made a few comments that she was preparing her resume for it and whatnot. This could be a good chance for me to DHV because I'll be dressed nicely. After class yesterday I walked out and started chatting with another girl and we sat down on a bench to talk (turns out she was married at 23 years old... wtf?!). Well HB8 walked out shortly after and sat at the bench next to us, almost like she was pouting. I wonder if this helped my chances by showing preselection or if it backfired made her think, "this guy's a player... he flirts with every girl in sight. turn off!" Anyways, my plan is to ask her to get a drink with me on Friday. Something along the lines of, "We survived our week of midterms, let's celebrate with a drink this weekend! How's Friday?" This is a big jump because she can easily tell me she's busy on Friday. And then if I come back with "How about Saturday?" I'm sounding desperate and lowering my value. If I can get her to the bar alone, I'm will absolutely at least k-close her. I just generally have a lot of trouble getting girls to agree. Does it seem like it's worth the gamble (reasonable chance she'll say yes)? Is there a special way I should word asking her out? I'm planning on doing it tomorrow- opening with something funny to get her laughing and then popping the question.

Author:	Mr. Assertive [ Wed Mar 12, 2014 6:31 am ]
Post subject:	Re: The plunge from platonic to asking a girl out. Tips?!
Don't overthink this one. You are doing just fine. This is how usually University or College relationships start out. It goes from social to sexual in the order. Sometimes you can get it sexual very early on but expect that to end quickly just as it started. Keep it up!

Author:	brandnew2 [ Wed Mar 12, 2014 3:30 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: The plunge from platonic to asking a girl out. Tips?!
Thanks for the response. I'm planning on asking her later today. How should I deal with it if she gives me an excuse like she's busy or she isn't feeling well? I know I should just laugh it off and tell her she'll be missing out. But then do I try to reschedule? Wait for a week before bringing it up again? Just let it go completely and focus on salvaging the normalcy?

Author:	Il-Cavalieri [ Wed Mar 12, 2014 4:46 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: The plunge from platonic to asking a girl out. Tips?!
"Yeah, sure. That's fine. Give me a call/tell me/let me know when you're free". If she's intersted she will be the one to reschedule. If not, let the issue die and work on building atraction.

Author:	brandnew2 [ Wed Mar 12, 2014 6:14 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: The plunge from platonic to asking a girl out. Tips?!
All right so here's how the conversation when. I chatted her up a little bit, then jumped into: me -"So I think you owe me a drink since I helped you so much with studying :p. How does Friday night sound?" hb8- "<bar name>. Be there or be square" me- "that's where you'll be?" hb8- "most likely haha" me- "sounds good to me" and that was it. So this isn't exactly how I wanted it to play out. She'll already be there with her group of friends and that will make it that much harder for me to isolate and all that. I'd much rather have her go out with the sole purpose of meeting me than have me just drop in and make an appearance, ya know? But at least it's better than her just telling me she's busy even if it doesn't rule out the possibility that I'll be friend zoned. I'm almost tempted to try to get her to meet me somewhere else but I feel like my chances of that would be low. If she's getting drunk with her friends at one bar she's most likely not going to go off on her own to meet someone else. I honestly have HORRIBLE results when meeting a girl who's already out so I hope some of you have advice for this type of scenario. It doesn't help that my social circle only includes other women and extremely nerdy AFCs who refuse to go out so I'll either have to show up with a girl or show up alone. Neither really seems like the best way for me to build attraction. My plan for now is to tell her I'm at a different bar and make it seem like I'll stop by where she's at a little later. I'm kind of at a loss for how to approach this though. What do you all think I should do?

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Author:	TheFury [ Wed Mar 12, 2014 6:43 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: The plunge from platonic to asking a girl out. Tips?!
Quote: All right so here's how the conversation when. I chatted her up a little bit, then jumped into: me -"So I think you owe me a drink since I helped you so much with studying :p. How does Friday night sound?" hb8- "<bar name>. Be there or be square" me- "that's where you'll be?" hb8- "most likely haha" me- "sounds good to me" and that was it. So this isn't exactly how I wanted it to play out. She'll already be there with her group of friends and that will make it that much harder for me to isolate and all that. I'd much rather have her go out with the sole purpose of meeting me than have me just drop in and make an appearance, ya know? But at least it's better than her just telling me she's busy even if it doesn't rule out the possibility that I'll be friend zoned. I'm almost tempted to try to get her to meet me somewhere else but I feel like my chances of that would be low. If she's getting drunk with her friends at one bar she's most likely not going to go off on her own to meet someone else. I honestly have HORRIBLE results when meeting a girl who's already out so I hope some of you have advice for this type of scenario. It doesn't help that my social circle only includes other women and extremely nerdy AFCs who refuse to go out so I'll either have to show up with a girl or show up alone. Neither really seems like the best way for me to build attraction. My plan for now is to tell her I'm at a different bar and make it seem like I'll stop by where she's at a little later. I'm kind of at a loss for how to approach this though. What do you all think I should do? Next time, be the one to propose the place also, not just the time...

Author:	brandnew2 [ Wed Mar 12, 2014 7:00 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: The plunge from platonic to asking a girl out. Tips?!
Fair enough. But what would you suggest I do this time!

Author:	Il-Cavalieri [ Thu Mar 13, 2014 5:31 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: The plunge from platonic to asking a girl out. Tips?!
You don't have to do it all that one night. Not even isolate her. She studies with you, you'll have other oportunities. In fact, if you go in too strong you may end up driving her away. Cocentrate on being funny and atractive. If she thinks you are good enough to introduce to her friends, that is a giant leap forward. Win over her friends (not hitting on them, just being cool and funny) and maybe they will end up telling your mark how cool you are, giving you their seal of aproval. That is how I would play it.

Author:	Mr. Assertive [ Thu Mar 13, 2014 9:01 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: The plunge from platonic to asking a girl out. Tips?!
I wouldn't focus on closing her this time. For now you got the ball rolling. She is becoming warm to your reception and has already said yes to you (on meeting up, even though it was not one on one). For now, you can either opt out of this meet up or you can go to this meet up run some game, MAYBE isolate her here, but you said you are weak there, so best case scenario you just use this as a stepping stone on to the next meet up. Get her started on getting used to you being around, talk about future dates. Doesn't matter what route you take, you will end up in fucksville. There is no linear fool proof dating method. Good luck.

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